Manners and Social Usages by Mrs John M. E. W. Sherwood (best english novels for beginners .TXT) đź“•
Now the question comes up, and here doctors disagree: When may alady call by proxy, or when may she send her card, or when mustshe call in person?
After a dinner-party a guest must call in person and inquire ifthe hostess is at home. For other entertainments it is allowed, inNew York, that the lady call by proxy, or that she simply send hercard. In sending to inquire for a person's health, cards may besent by a servant, with a kindly message.
No first visit should, however, be returned by card only; thiswould be considered a slight, unless followed by an invitation.The size of New York, the great distances, the busy life of awoman of charities, large family, and immense circle ofacquaintances may render a pers
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In England a very useful little piece of furniture, called a dinner-wagon, is in order. This is a series of open shelves, on which are
placed the extra napkins or serviettes to be used; for in England
the first heavy napkin is taken away, and a more delicate one
brought with the Roman punch, with the game another, and with the
ices still another. On this dinner-wagon are placed all the dessert-plates and the finger-glasses. On the plate which is to serve for
the ice is a gold ice-spoon, and a silver dessert-knife and fork
accompany the finger-bowl and glass plate. This dinner-wagon also
holds the salad-bowl and spoon, of silver, the salad-plates, and the
silver bread-basket, in which should be thin slices of brown bread-and-butter. A china dish in three compartments, with cheese and
butter and biscuits to be passed with the salad, the extra sauces,
the jellies for the meats, the relishes, the radishes and celery,
the olives and the sifted sugar-all things needed as accessaries of
the dinner-table-can be put on this dinner-wagon, or �tagere, as
it is called in France.
No table-spoons should be laid on the table, except those to be used
for soup, as the style of serving ďż˝ la Russe precludes their being
needed; and the extra spoons, cruets, and casters are put on the
sideboard.
To wait on a large dinner-party the attendants average one to every
three people, and when only a butler and one footman are kept, it is
necessary to hire additional servants.
Previous to the announcement of the dinner, the footman places the
soup-tureens and the soup-plates on the sidetable. As soon as the
oysters are eaten, and the plates removed, the butler begins with
the soup, and sends it round by two footmen, one on each side, each
carrying two plates. Each footman should approach the guests on the
left, so that the right hand may be used for taking the plate. Half
a ladleful of soup is quite enough to serve.
Some ladies never allow their butler to do anything but hand the
wine, which he does at the right hand (not the left), asking each
person if he will have Sauterne, dry or sweet champagne, claret,
Burgundy, and so on. But really clever butlers serve the soup,
carve, and pour out the wine as well. An inexperienced servant
should never serve the wine; it must be done briskly and neatly, not
explosively or carelessly. The overfilling of the glass should be
avoided, and servants should be watched, to see that they give
champagne only to those who wish it, and that they do not overfill
glasses for ladies, who rarely drink anything.
A large plate-basket or two, for removing dishes and silver that
have been used, are necessary, and should not be forgotten. The
butler rings a bell which communicates with the kitchen when he
requires anything, and after each entr�e or course he thus gives
the signal to the cook to send up another.
Hot dinner-plates are prepared when the fish is removed, and on
these hot plates the butler serves all the meats; the guests are
also served with hot plates before the entr�es, except _p�t� de
foie gras_, for which a cold plate is necessary.
Some discretion should be shown by the servant who passes the
entr�es. A large table-spoon and fork should be placed on the
dish, and the dish then held low, so that the guest may help himself
easily, the servant standing at his left hand. He should always have
a small napkin over his hand as he passes a dish. A napkin should
also be wrapped around the champagne bottle, as it is often dripping
with moisture from the ice-chest. It is the butler’s duty to make
the salad, which he should do about half an hour before dinner.
There are now so many provocatives of appetite that it would seem as
if we were all, after the manner of Heliogabalus, determined to eat
and die. The best of these is the Roman punch, which, coming after
the heavy roasts, prepares the palate and stomach for the canvasback ducks or other game. Then comes the salad and cheese, then the
ices and sweets, and then cheese savourie or cheese fondu. This
is only toasted cheese, in a very elegant form, and is served in
little silver shells, sometimes as early in the dinner as just after
the oysters, but the favorite time is after the sweets.
The dessert is followed by the liqueurs, which should be poured
into very small glasses, and handed by the butler on a small silver
waiter. When the ices are removed, a dessert-plate of glass, with a
finger-bowl, is placed before each person, with two glasses, one for
sherry, the other for claret or Burgundy, and the grapes, peaches,
pears, and other fruits are then passed. After the fruits go round,
the sugarplums and a little dried ginger—a very pleasant conserve
—are passed before the coffee.
The hostess makes the sign for retiring, and the dinner breaks up.
The gentlemen are left to wine and cigars, liqueurs and cognac,
and the ladies retire to the drawing-room to chat and take their
coffee.
In the selection of the floral decoration for the table the lady of
the house has the final voice. Flowers which have a very heavy
fragrance should not be used. That roses and pinks, violets and
lilacs, are suitable, goes without saying, for they are always
delightful; but the heavy tropical odors of jasmine, orange-blossom,
hyacinth, and tuberose should be avoided. A very pretty decoration
is obtained by using flowers of one color, such as Jacqueminot
roses, or scarlet carnations, which, if placed in the gleaming
crystal glass, produce a very brilliant and beautiful effect.
Flowers should not be put on the table until just before dinner is
served, as they are apt to be wilted by the heat and the lights.
We have used the English term footman to indicate what is usually
called a waiter in this country. A waiter in England is a hired
hotel-hand, not a private servant.
Much taste and ingenuity are expended on the selection of favors for
ladies, and these pretty fancies—bonbonnieres, painted ribbons
and reticules, and fans covered with flowers—add greatly to the
elegance and luxury of our modern dinner-table.
A less reasonable conceit is that of having toys—such as imitation
musical instruments, crackers which make an unpleasant detonation,
imitations of negro minstrels, balloons, flags, and pasteboard
lobsters, toads, and insects—presented to each lady. These articles
are neither tasteful nor amusing, and have “no excuse for being”
except that they afford an opportunity for the expenditure of more
money.
CHAPTER XXXII. FAVORS AND BONBONNIERES.
Truly “the world is very young for its age.” We are never too old to
admire a pretty favor or a tasteful bonbonniere; and, looking back
over the season, we remember, as among the most charming of the
favors, those with flowers painted upon silken banners, with the
owner’s name intertwined. The technical difficulties of painting
upon silk are somewhat conquered, one would think, in looking at the
endless devices composed of satin and painted flowers on the lunch-tables. Little boxes covered with silk, in eight and six sided
forms, with panels let in, on which are painted acorns and oak
leaves, rosebuds or lilies, and always the name or the cipher of the
recipient, are very pretty. The Easter-egg has long been a favorite
offering in silk, satin, plush, and velvet, in covered, egg-shaped
boxes containing bonbons; these, laid in a nest of gold and silver
threads in a cloisonnďż˝ basket, afford a very pretty souvenir to
carry home from a luncheon.
Menu-holders of delicate gilt-work are also added to the other
favors. These pretty little things sometimes uphold a photograph, or
a porcelain plate on which is painted the lady’s name, and also a
few flowers. The little porcelain cards are not larger than a
visiting-card, and are often very artistic. The famous and familiar
horseshoe, in silver or silver-gilt, holding up the menu-card, is
another pretty favor, and a very nice one to carry home, as it
becomes a penholder when it is put on the writing-table. Wire rests,
shaped like those used for muskets in barracks yards, are also used
for the name and menu-cards. Plateaus, shells, baskets, figurettes,
vases holding flowers, dolphins, Tritons, swan, sea animals (in
crockery), roses which open and disclose the sugarplums, sprays of
coral, and gilt conch-shells, are all pretty, especially when filled
with flowers.
Baskets in various styles are often seen. One tied with a broad
ribbon at the side is very useful as a work-basket afterwards.
Openwork baskets, lined with crimson or scarlet or pink or blue
plush, with another lining of silver paper to protect the plums, are
very tasteful. A very pretty basket is one hung between three gilt
handles or poles, and filled with flowers or candies. Silvered and
gilded beetles, or butterflies, fastened on the outside, have a
fanciful effect.
Moss-covered trays holding dried grasses and straw, and piles of
chocolates that suggest ammunition, are decorative and effective.
Wheelbarrows of tiny size for flowers are a favorite conceit. They
are made of straw-work, entirely gilded, or painted black or brown,
and picked out with gold; or perhaps pale green, with a bordering of
brown. A very pretty one may be made of old cigarbox wood; on one
side a monogram painted in red and gold, on the other a spray of
autumn leaves. Carved-wood barrows fitted with tin inside may hold a
growing plant—stephanotis, hyacinths, ferns, ivy, or any other
hardy plant—and are very pleasing souvenirs.
The designs for reticules and ch�telaines are endless. At a very
expensive luncheon, to which twenty-four ladies sat down, a silk
reticule a foot square, filled with Maillard’s confections and
decorated with an exquisitely painted landscape effect, was
presented to each guest. These lovely reticules may be any shape,
and composed of almost any material. A very handsome style is an
eight-sided, melon-shaped bag of black satin, with a decoration of
bunches of scarlet flowers painted or embroidered. Silk braided with
gold, brocade, and plush combined, and Turkish towelling with an
appliqueďż˝ of brilliant color, are all suitable and effective.
In the winter a shaded satin muff, in which was hidden a
bonbonniere, was the present that made glad the hearts of twenty-eight ladies. These are easily made in the house, and a plush muff
with a bird’s head is a favorite “favor.”
A pair of bellows is a pretty and inexpensive bonbonniere. They
can be bought at the confectioner’s, and are more satisfactory than
when made at home; but if one is ingenious, it is possible, with a
little pasteboard, gilt paper, silk, and glue, to turn out a very
pretty little knickknack of this kind. However, the French do these
things so much better than we do that a lady giving a lunch-party
had better buy all her favors at some wholesale place. There is a
real economy in buying such articles at the wholesale stores, for
the retail dealers double the price.
Bronze, iron, and glass are all pressed into the service, and
occasionally we have at a lunch a whole military armament of cannon,
muskets, swords, bronze helmets, whole suits of armor, tazza for
jewellery, miniature cases, inkstands, and powder-boxes, all to hold
a few sugarplums.
At a christening party all the favors savor of the nursery—splendid
cradles of flowers, a bassinet of brilliante trimmed with ribbons
for a bonbonniere, powder-boxes, puffs, little socks filled with
sugar instead of little feet, an infant’s cloak standing on end
(really over pasteboard), an infant’s hood, and
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