She Wore Mourning by P.D. Workman (best desktop ebook reader .txt) 📕

sleigh; but it had just been a beat-up old tricycle with streamers tied to the handlebars. He’d gotten in big trouble for stealing from the neighbor’s garbage.

Kenzie was at her desk. She hadn’t gone on vacation. She had reports stacked up, but it didn’t look like she was so busy she couldn’t even return a phone call. She looked up at him with an expectant smile, and then some of it dribbled away, leaving her looking serious and questioning. Like he wasn’t supposed to be there.

“Happy holidays,” Zachary told her. He hadn’t brought her a gift. It hadn’t occurred to him until then that he might need a little something to break the ice. She was looking awfully cold.

“Merry Christmas, Zachary,” she returned, face like stone.

“You decorated. It’s very pretty.”

“It wasn’t me. I think it looks pathetic.”

“Yeah… it does.”

“Then why did you tell me it was pretty? I don’t want you telling me stuff that’s not true, just because you think it sounds good or is what I want to hear. I can’t stand you lying to me.”

Zachary licked his lips. “I’m not lying.” His voice was barely above a whisper.

“I don’t think you’re very good at telling the truth, are you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Just what I said. You haven’t had much practice with it. You’d rather tell stories than actually figure out the truth and say that.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I didn’t lie to you.”

“I don’t think you even know what the truth is.”

Zachary shifted his feet anxiously. “Who told you I lied? I can’t think of anyone who would tell you that, except Bridget. Why would you talk to Bridget?”

She just looked at him, and Zachary knew he’d hit the nail on the head. She had been talking to Bridget. Why, he didn’t know. Had she approached Bridget? Had Bridget approached Kenzie? He couldn’t understand why either one of them would want to talk to the other.

“She said she told you right from the beginning that she didn’t want kids. It shouldn’t have been any great shock that she wanted to terminate an unplanned, unexpected pregnancy.”

“I… didn’t say it was a surprise… but I was still hurt. Do you know how it hurts, to have someone tell you they don’t want your baby? A part of you? A child would have really made us into a family.”

“She says that you were always pushing having children, right from the start, even though she said she wasn’t ready. When she felt like you were forcing a pregnancy on her…”

Zachary winced. It was a slap in the face. She made it sound like he had assaulted Bridget. That he had impregnated her against her will. They had always used birth control. He had been willing to wait until she was ready.

“I never forced anything on her. She might ‘feel like’ I did, but we’re talking facts here, not feelings. I never forced her to do anything. Sure, I wanted kids. I still want kids. I want a family of my own.” He shook his head, unable to find strong enough words.

“I’m not ready for kids either,” Kenzie said. “I want you to know that. I thought you were a guy I’d like to get to know, have a little fun with, but I’m not looking for a serious relationship. Everything about you is serious.”

Zachary couldn’t think of what to say. He thought he should crack a joke. Make her see that there was more to him, that he did have a fun side. But down there by the morgue, with the sad Christmas garlands, and Kenzie spouting the Gospel According to Bridget, there was nothing he could say that would come out funny or lighthearted.

He swallowed and shook his head. “We’re not serious enough to be discussing kids,” he said tersely. “That’s not why I wanted to see you.”

Kenzie stared at him for a minute; then she gave a little laugh. Not laughing at him, just a little cough to break the tension.

“I guess I got ahead of myself, then, didn’t I?”

“It’s going to be a while before I can talk to anyone about having kids again.”

As much as he longed for that missing family, he knew it was the truth. The talk of abortion, the phantom pregnancy, the traumatic breakup with Bridget; it was all too much. Too fresh.

“Yeah.” Kenzie looked sorry that she had brought it all up. At least she wasn’t calling him a liar anymore. “What was it, then? Why did you come down here? You’re done with the Bond case, aren’t you?”

“Yes… just trying to put together the final report. It’s hard… because I don’t really believe it.”

“You have to put what you believe in the report. Otherwise, it’s just another lie, isn’t it?”

“But just like you said… I didn’t find anything the police didn’t already know. There are no grounds to reinvestigate it. It was… just an accident. A tragic accident.”

“So that’s what you put down.”

“But I don’t believe that. I think someone drugged him and drowned him.”

“You don’t know that.”

“How could I know it, unless I was there? There’s evidence to back it up.”

“There isn’t.”

“He had cough medicine. Both parents said they didn’t give him cough medicine.”

“Maybe they forgot. Did it absentmindedly. Or they thought they’d be in trouble for it. Maybe they figure he drowned because he wandered into the pond while under the influence of the cough medicine, so they’re afraid to admit it. Maybe somebody else had taken cough medicine, and he decided to take a drink out of the little dosing cup without anyone knowing about it. There are a hundred different scenarios, Zachary. There’s no evidence of a third party. Just put that in your report.”

“I suppose.”

He knew he was going to have to, but he hated to do it. He didn’t want to stir things up between the family and the police. He didn’t want it getting into the news again. He didn’t want people getting hurt because of him.

“So…” Kenzie gave a forced smile.