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Gee! I’d never have forgiven myself,” he concluded fervently.

Just when the Incident was beginning to occupy less of Hugh’s thoughts, it was suddenly brought back with a crash. He came home from the gymnasium one afternoon to find Carl seated at his desk writing. He looked up when Hugh came in, tore the paper into fragments, and tossed them info the wastebasket.

“Guess I’d better tell you,” he said briefly. “I was just writing a note to you.”

“To me? Why?”

Carl pointed to his suitcase standing by the center-table.

“That’s why.”

“Going away on a party?”

“My trunk left an hour ago. I’m going away for good.” Carl’s voice was husky, and he spoke with an obvious effort.

Hugh walked quickly to the desk. “Why, old man, what’s the matter? Anything wrong with your mother? You’re not sick, are you?”

Carl laughed, briefly, bitterly. “Yes, I’m sick all right. I’m sick.”

Hugh, worried, looked at him seriously. “Why, what’s the matter? I didn’t know that you weren’t feeling well.”

Carl looked at the rug and muttered, “You remember those rats we picked up in Hastings?”

“Yes?”

“Well, I know of seven fellows they’ve sent home.”

“What!” Hugh cried, his eyes wide with horror. “You don’t mean that you⁠—that you⁠—”

“I mean exactly that,” Carl replied in a low, flat voice. He rose and moved to the other side of the room. “I mean exactly that; and Doc Conners agrees with me,” he added sarcastically. Then more softly, “He’s got to tell the dean. That’s why I’m going home.”

Hugh was swept simultaneously by revulsion and sympathy. “God, I’m sorry,” he exclaimed. “Oh, Carl, I’m so damn sorry.”

Carl was standing by Hugh’s desk, his hands clenched, his lips compressed. “Keep my junk,” he said unevenly, “and sell anything you want to if you live in the house next year.”

“But you’ll be back?”

“No, I won’t come back⁠—I won’t come back.” He was having a hard time to keep back the tears and bit his trembling lip mercilessly. “Oh, Hugh,” he suddenly cried, “what will my mother say?”

Hugh was deeply distressed, but he was startled by that “my mother.” It was the first time he had ever heard Carl speak of his mother except as the “old lady.”

“She will understand,” he said soothingly.

“How can she? How can she? God, Hugh, God!” He buried his face in his hands and wept bitterly. Hugh put his arm around his shoulder and tried to comfort him, and in a few minutes Carl was in control of himself again. He dried his eyes with his handkerchief.

“What a fish I am!” he said, trying to grin. “A goddamn fish.” He looked at his watch. “Hell, I’ve got to be going if I’m going to make the five fifteen,” He picked up his suitcase and held out his free hand. “There’s something I want to say to you, Hugh, but I guess I’ll write it. Please don’t come to the train with me.” He gripped Hugh’s hand hard for an instant and then was out of the door and down the hall before Hugh had time to say anything.

Two days afterward the letter came. The customary “Dear brother” and “Fraternally yours” were omitted.

Dear Hugh:

I’ve thought of letters yards long but I’m not going to write them. I just want to say that you are the finest thing that ever happened to me outside of my mother, and I respect you more than any fellow I’ve ever known. I’m ashamed because I started you drinking and I hope you’ll stop it. I feel toward you the way Harry Slade does, only more I guess. You’ve done an awful lot for me.

I want to ask a favor of you. Please leave women alone. Keep straight, please. You don’t know how much I want you to do that.

Thanks for all you’ve done for me.

Carl.

Hugh’s eyes filled with tears when he read that letter. Carl seemed a tragic figure to him, and he missed him dreadfully. Poor old Carl! What hell it must have been to tell his mother! “And he wants me to keep straight. By God, I will.⁠ ⁠… I’ll try to, anyhow.”

XVII

Hugh’s depression was not continuous by any means. He was much too young and too healthy not to find life an enjoyable experience most of the time. Disillusionment followed disillusionment, each one painful and dispiriting in itself, but they came at long enough intervals for him to find a great deal of pleasure in between.

Also, for the first time since he had been transferred from Alling’s section in Latin, he was taking genuine interest in a course. Having decided to major in English, he found that he was required to take a composition course the second half of his sophomore year. His instructor was Professor Henley, known as Jimmie Henley among the students, a man in his middle thirties, spare, neat in his dress, sharp with his tongue, apt to say what he thought in terms so plain that not even the stupidest undergraduate could fail to understand him. His hazel-brown eyes were capable of a friendly twinkle, but they had a way of darkening suddenly and snapping that kept his students constantly on the alert. There was little of the professor about him but a great deal of the teacher.

Hugh went to his first conference with him not entirely easy in his mind. Henley had a reputation for “tearing themes to pieces and making a fellow feel like a poor fish.” Hugh had written his themes hastily, as he had during his freshman year, and he was afraid that Henley might discover evidences of that haste.

Henley was leaning back in his swivel chair, his feet on the desk, a brier pipe in his mouth, as Hugh entered the cubbyhole of an office. Down came the feet with a bang.

“Hello, Carver,” Henley said cheerfully. “Come in and sit down while I go through your themes.” He motioned to a chair by the desk. Hugh muttered a shy “hello” and sat down, watching Henley

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