Jonny's Redemption (Gemini Group Book 7) by Riley Edwards (audio ebook reader TXT) 📕

we have to admit we have value. Our feelings matter. Then we have to forgive ourselves for the role we played and let it go.”

Forgiveness sounded scary.

“Are you ready to forgive?” I asked.

“I don’t know. But for the first time in my life, I have a place I wanna be. A place where my father and brother are not welcome. I want to be man enough to guide us into the future. I want to be strong enough to follow you into the unknown.”

He said he didn’t know but he was ready to move on. The question was, was I ready? Elmer, Kathy, and EJ should’ve been meaningless to me. Physically, I’d left them behind a long time ago yet I still allowed the three of them to control me and my future.

I was not in Shady Hollow. I wasn’t in Kentucky. I’d made something of myself. I’d earned everything I had including the man who was holding me safe like I was the most important thing in the world to him.

What was I waiting for? Why was I so scared to move on?

I closed my eyes and listened to Jonny’s heart—my heart, he’d given it to me. The beat so steady, soothing, and mine. I was where I belonged.

Forgiveness didn’t mean I had to go back. It didn’t mean I was excusing their behavior. It was a choice—my choice. Forgiveness was about me. My future. My life. My peace of mind.

I’d found my place and like Jonny said, Elmer, EJ, and Kathy were not welcome. All I had to do was shut the door and be done.

Forgive and move on.

Their actions were not mine. Whatever led Elmer to be the kind of man who neglected and beat his children was not my fault. Kathy’s inability to be a mother was not because I was an unruly, unlovable, bad child. EJ turning out to be his father’s son wasn’t my problem. They were mean, rotten people, and I was not them.

I was not them.

My eyes snapped open and the truth hit me hard and fast.

I wasn’t them.

“I forgive them,” I wheezed. “For everything. I don’t want to carry their burdens anymore. They were never mine but I dragged them with me everywhere I went. I couldn’t get away from them because I kept bringing them along. Me, not them. They haven’t been in my life for a long time but I brought them with me everywhere I went.”

I stopped speaking and waited. Not for Jonny to say something but to see if I felt different. Oddly, nothing changed. I didn’t feel lighter. I didn’t feel a weight lift. I didn’t feel the anger slip from my heart. I just felt like me.

Maybe I’d done it wrong.

“Damn. My girl, so strong. So brave.” Jonny wrapped me up tighter in his arms and I melted into his embrace. “Do you know how much I admire you?”

I shook my head because I didn’t but also because my throat was tingling and I was afraid to talk.

“The way you love is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever witnessed. And knowing that you have that in you despite how you grew up says a lot about you. All of it good. Your love, your loyalty, your friendship—you give it freely. I’d say you’re not them but I’d rather say you’re you. Beautiful, smart, funny, giving, wise, cute, sexy. You are not what they could’ve made you become. You’re too strong to be that. You needed to leave them to become who you were always meant to be, the woman who you just are. You didn’t learn to be her, you were simply born this way.”

I couldn’t catch my breath. It was painful and erratic and I could feel Jonny’s praise blazing through me. Every word he said felt like a needle piercing my skin, the meaning behind those words the thread.

He was stitching me up.

Sewing all those old gaping wounds closed.

I actually, honestly, genuinely believed Jonny meant those things.

I was a good friend and I was goddamn smart.

No, I hadn’t done it wrong. I forgave, but it wasn’t about the weight of my family’s transgressions being lifted.

It was this—letting go of the insecurities that had been drilled into me by those who had done me wrong. By forgiving, I had absolved myself of the punishment of their wrongdoings.

“I believe you.”

“That’s good, baby, because I speak the truth.”

“Are you going to let me return the favor and believe me when I tell you all the reasons why I think you’re a good man? How smart I think you are. How strong and brave and honorable.”

“Soon.”

Before I could press him, his phone rang. It rang twice then stopped. Then a few seconds later it started up again.

“You should get that.”

Jonny sighed but reached into his pocket. I could see the screen, but by the way his body tensed, I knew he didn’t want to speak to whoever was calling.

Which meant I didn’t need to see the caller ID to know who it was. His mom or possibly his Uncle Bryan.

“It never ends,” he mumbled and lifted his phone to his ear. “Uncle?”

Okay, the better of the two. At least I thought that until Jonny started vibrating.

“She what?” he sneered.

Oh, boy.

“That’s not going to happen,” Jonny continued then there was another brief pause. “Right. This is the last time. I’m not joking, Uncle. This is it. I’ve been down this road so many times it’s pathetic. After this, you take her somewhere and get her help.”

Jonny lowered his phone, gave me a squeeze, then dipped his chin. Damn, those blue eyes had turned artic. “I have to go to my mom’s. She’s locked herself in the bathroom and refuses to come out until I’m there.”

Damn her.

“Okay, let’s go.”

“Bobby—”

“Oh, no, Jonny, don’t start. You know I’m not letting you do this alone. We can argue about it but you know I’ll get in my car and follow you. So please save me the gas and take me with you.”

Jonny