Missing the Big Picture by Donovan, Luke (great book club books txt) 📕

of their fraternity or sorority, weren’t allowed to go to the school gymnasium, and one fraternity told a pledge that he wasn’t allowed to attend church.

By the end of the six-week period, all of the pledges, both the guys and the girls, looked disgusting. The grease in Diana’s and Renee’s hair was extremely visible, as the seventeen girls only had half an hour a day to shower and there was only one shower they could use in the sorority house. Sleeping was another activity the pledges were deprived of. In Kaitlin and Shannon’s sorority, during the first few weeks the girls were allowed to sleep four to five hours a night the first few weeks. During the last week, Shannon and Kaitlin averaged only forty-five minutes of sleep a night.

Even though every pledge had to go to the library every night for three hours of study time, most of the girls’ grades took a sharp decline. Shannon, who had a 3.4 grade point average her first semester, barely had a 3.2 the following semester and she was taking one less course than she was first semester. Kaitlin and Diana, who both had grade point averages around 3.0, started getting Ds in some of their classes. Renee’s grade point average went from a 2.7 to a 2.2.

Even though most of the pledges would never want to relive the pledging process again, the days after they stopped pledging, they were lavished with flowers, jackets, and praise. All of the girls said that it was totally worthwhile—the constant yelling, the lack of food, the sleep deprivation. Any Greek attending Geneseo did have a social advantage. There was a rumor that anybody who played a varsity sport or wore Greek letters was granted instant admission to the bars in town, regardless of his or her age. However, not all underage Greeks and athletes got into the bars; it was just a somewhat-true myth.

The main reason why so many people joined fraternities and sororities was for acceptance and safety. Many freshmen struggle to adapt to living away from home; they miss having a clique or any form of stability, and a fraternity or sorority gives them both instantly.

The secrecy of the Greek system attracts members as well. Since many of the pledges were still teenagers when they joined, having secret rituals and secret ceremonies about which they weren’t even allowed to tell their parents was exciting and made them feel accepted and special.

Many of the students I talked to at Geneseo felt pressured to pledge a fraternity or sorority. They had sisters, fathers, mothers, and brothers who were members of fraternities and sororities, and they felt that they had to uphold tradition. Many of the students were also cliquish. If most of the student’s friends were pledging and he or she didn’t pledge, who would be left to go out with, eat meals with, or hang out with?

The last reason why students at Geneseo became involved in the Greek system was because they just liked to have fun and being Greek was the ultimate fun on campus. For guys, fraternity house parties provided plenty of girls; for girls, it provided an opportunity for friends, dating, and acceptance. Some people in life just need to be a part of a formal organization to feel accepted.

I did get lonelier the less time I saw my friends. The second weekend in March, Bruce decided to go home and see a friend who was in the hospital. To make that possible, Bruce’s parents drove a total of sixteen hours—the time it took to drive Bruce to and from SUNY Geneseo. However, the real reason Bruce went home was to see his girlfriend.

Since Rich and Bruce usually hosted a radio show together, I wanted to stop by and see how Rich acted without Bruce around. During the first semester, I liked Rich, but I had this inner suspicion that Bruce was telling Rich to avoid me. I took the radio show as a great opportunity to see what exactly was going on.

Even though it was snowing, I still walked the fifteen minutes across town to the radio station. Rich was there and seemed apathetic that I showed up, but he never asked me why I decided to come out. The main topic of our conversation, as always, had something to do with girls or my sex life (or lack thereof). Rich blamed my celibate lifestyle on the way I acted; I was just too silly, he said. At the time, I never thought it was disconcerting that Rich cared so much about my personal business; I just wanted his approval. It didn’t matter that I had a bunch of other friends; the fact that there was a group of people who disliked me was motivation enough for me to want to change to be accepted. However, Rich’s relationship with his girlfriend, Emily, was very odd. She visited only once during the year in college that they were together. They had all their romantic meals at the dining halls, and Rich was nice enough to let his girlfriend use his meal passes. He also told us that he told his girlfriend that she was hot enough to be in Playboy, but then he admitted that he was lying.

Another time when I was in Rich’s room, I saw a newspaper article about how Rosie O’Donnell came out as a lesbian and would no longer be hosting her own daytime talk show. Many people encouraged O’Donnell to admit that she was gay, but others discouraged it. When he saw the photo, Rich asked me, “Would you fuck Rosie O’Donnell in her ass?” Looking back, I can’t believe that I wanted to be friends with somebody who was so strange. Asking if somebody would have anal sex with Rosie O’Donnell was a conversation starter for Rich, just like a normal person saying, “How are your classes?” or “Did you go out last weekend?” According to Rich, everybody was like him and all the boys