Jase by Fields, J. (ebook reader browser TXT) 📕

standing too close for me to breathe. He lifted my chin gently and I looked up into his eyes. He very slowly moved towards me. I closed my eyes anticipating his lips on mine. Oh, how I had craved that.

Jase kissed my forehead, “Goodnight.”

I don’t know why I started crying again but I did. He paused and took a deep breath and closed his eyes, “Carly, I’m very sorry about your mother. She was a wonderful woman.”

That did it.

I lost it.

And he held me, which made me cry harder. I missed her, I hated being here, I felt even farther away from her than ever before. I know I was not allowed to grieve anymore but it hurt. A perfect job and a perfect home meant nothing, I missed her. I wanted her back. And I knew no matter how many stars I wished on that would never, ever happen. I cried even harder and he rubbed my back and held me tightly.

“I’m going to stay until you fall asleep,”

“You can’t,” I pulled back and wiped my tears, “Bella.”

“Bella is already asleep, Mom is there. You need …”

“Jase you can’t, I don’t have her to fix it anymore,” yeah I said that, note to self, no more drinking, unless it was alone. “Sorry, I am so stupid and drunk, and…”

He smiled, “So you won’t remember, come on I’m not leaving you here alone on your first night.”

“So you’re trying to be my friend?” I felt my lips quiver, I was unsure if that’s what I wanted, or if I could even handle that.

“Yeah, come on show me your room,” I started to object and he smiled, “I’m a Daddy now Carly, I really have grown up, besides I never took advantage of you before did I?”

“If we are going to try this friend thing, I suggest you not bring up the past,” I looked at him and he smiled, “I’ll be fine.”

“Didn’t sound convincing, let’s go, I will take the floor,” he grabbed my hand and started walking towards the stairs and yes I followed him.

“I haven’t even been up here yet.”

“I am sure we will find it,” he smiled over his shoulder at me.

He was beautiful and very… very… addictive. Is that the right word? Or poison maybe poison, oh my stomach hurts and things are spinning and …

I looked up and he was looking at me with his lips turned up slightly, “You done in there?”

“In where?” I looked around wondering what he was talking about.

“I don’t know wherever it is you go in that head of yours, come on. I bet this is it,” Jase opened the door at the end of the hall and turned on the light.

It was beautiful, light hard wood floors and lavender walls, I noticed Jase stifle a smile, yeah he likes this color. The bed, it was huge, a deep purple duvet covered it, and pillows covered half of the bed. I walked into the bathroom and almost laughed out loud. It was just like the one at the Garden, I heard Jase walking towards me and quickly shut the door. I didn’t want him to see, which was kind of juvenile, like he would remember. Jase was going to be my friend.

I splashed water on my face hoping that it would make me sober up, yeah I know not real smart. Note to self: next research project was going to be on, how to make the freaking room stop spinning…oh boy.

I covered my mouth and made it to the toilet in time. I don’t know how long or how many times I threw up. I didn’t notice when Jase came in, sat behind me with one hand holding back my hair, the other hand taking turns handing me a towel and rubbing my back. When I finally leaned back he was what I leaned on. My back to his chest and both of his hands gently rubbing up and down my arms slowly, as I tried to catch my breath.

“You feel better now?” I shook my head no, “I’m going to run you a bath, you soak for a bit and you’ll feel better.”

I wanted to say no but I couldn’t, he was right, “Sorry that you had to experience all that repulsiveness.”

He smiled, “It wasn’t that bad.”

“It was nasty,” I started to stand and he grabbed my elbow and helped me up.

“I have seen worse, you made it in the potty,” Jase smirked, “Like a big girl.”

I smiled, “Thank you.”

“Alright now the question is, can you climb up in the big old tub without hurting yourself?” I shook my head yes, “Good, now I’m going to get your bag, is it downstairs?”

“Yeah, Jase odd as it seems I feel better. You can go if…”

“If what?” he smiled as he walked out of the room and yelled over his shoulder, “I said until you fell asleep.”

I must have fallen asleep because I woke and Jase had a towel, “You gotta get out, you’ll get all wrinkly like a prune.”

I smiled slightly and took the towel, I looked up and didn’t move, “Oh yeah, sorry Ba…. Carly. There’s clothes and a toothbrush and paste…”

“Thanks, I see them,” he was being sweet and I really liked it. Too much. I should probably be a bitch, fight with him so he leaves, and then I would be alone and I didn’t want to be.

I grabbed the tee shirt and felt my face burn and he wasn’t even in the room, Forever Steel, the hotel walk of shame shirt, Dear God he must think I am such a freaking girl. So I put it on inside out, seriously hoping he didn’t notice.

When I walked out he had turned the bed down, lavender satin sheets, I would have to get rid of them, I was a flannel sheet girl in the winter on the east coast, nice and warm.

“Hop up in here,” Jase smiled and patted the bed, just like a daddy would.

“Jase go home