Jase by Fields, J. (ebook reader browser TXT) 📕

pulled up beside her. I got out, “It’s freezing out here, let me give you a ride.”

She kept walking and I jogged up beside her, she was crying, “Baby, what did I do?”

“Jase you’re …I can’t do this with you, you’re going to break me. You said you wanted to be friends, and then you pull that crap with the mirror, you cut in while I am dancing with my boss or whatever he is, you stare at me during dinner, you need to stop. I am telling you I can’t handle this. I just got here two days ago and I’ve seen you both of those days. I want a chance to try to be whole again. My mom is gone! She died less than a week ago.”

She started to cry harder and I couldn’t help myself I grabbed her and carried her to the car. I gave the address to my driver and hoped to hell when the idiot said Yes sir, Mr. Steel she didn’t hear it.

I held her the entire way to her place, Randolph opened the door and I climbed out and held her hand. I took her key and unlocked the door and opened it for her. When I started to follow her she held her hand against my chest and stopped me.

“Please don’t make me ask you to leave…”

“Carly I…”

“I won’t let you do this to her. I’m not going to stand in your way of being her father.”

“Carly, I’ve spent five days total away from Bella in the past fourteen months, I…”

She looked at me, “I need time to heal, to be strong for me.”

“And I have some things I need to tell you before you find out and think…”

“No.”

She shut the door in my face and I stood there expecting her to open it like an idiot. After I could not feel my nose I walked back to the car and got in, “Home please.”

~

I was exhausted when I walked into the office at eight in the morning, some of it from the emotional fucking I took last night, some from the emotional fucking I did to myself, stressing over today’s expected train wreck, and some from the emotional fucking from Bella’s first tantrum. She didn’t understand why I wouldn’t let her come with me to work. She’d come every other Saturday morning with me. And she was pissed. Little feet stomping pissed, not quite the: I hate you thing yet, thank God because I would probably cry like a six year old little girl if that ever happened. If I kept trying to lead two lives it would, I know it would.

I answered my phone at eight thirty. Nora my real receptionist was back from her family emergency. I was grateful Pam would not be there. Pam’s presence would not win any points.

“She’s here, and she is early. Should I stall?”

“No, I will let Dom and Jules do their thing and then have them give me a few minutes before they send her to me,” I hung up and seriously felt sick to my stomach.

My back was turned when Nora opened the door to let her in, I heard her sit and I couldn’t bring myself to turn around, what was I thinking? Oh fuck it!

I turned around and she looked at me, “What are you doing here? Are you trying to ruin my life Jase, get out before Mr…” she stopped talking and I could tell the wheels were turning inside her head. She stood quickly and I bolted to the door and stood in front of it, I knew she was planning to escape, “Get out of my way!”

“Not until you listen to me, Carly,” I snapped at her and I immediately regretted it.

“I hate you, you fucking…get out of my way or I will scream.”

“No you won’t,” I scowled and she did. She fucking screamed.

“LET. ME. OUT. NOW!”

“Scream all you want, I pay these people, so you will fucking listen to me! I have busted my ass for nine months to pull all this shit together and you will give me the fucking courtesy of a ten minute conversation!”

She reached into her bag and grabbed her phone, I was sure she was going to call the police. I walked to my desk and sat in my chair, waiting.

“The time starts now, you have ten minutes and then you stay away from me,” she was shaking, I was not sure if it was out of anger or fear but it blasted me.

“Baby…”

“I am NOT your Baby!”

“Miss Smythe, is that fucking better?” She didn’t answer so I went on, “When I was supposed to meet you in Denver, my Grandmother died, my mom’s mother in Italy. Her lawyer called the shop and insisted we be informed of what was in her will.” I held nothing back, I told her every detail. She sat and listened looking down of course and playing with her hands but she was still listening, that was good right? Wrong, her alarm went off signaling that my ten minutes was up and she stood. I jumped up and ran to the door and stood there.

“Carly, the offer was made for the research department to be brought here before I even knew of your mother’s passing. I never expected to lay all this on you when you were hurting. I haven’t been with anyone. I have built this with the idea that as hard as I worked for all this I would work ten times as hard to show you that I have done this for us. I love you. Waking up with you the other morning was a dream come true for me. I want to wake up every morning with your head on my chest.”

She still did not look up, “Please move,” her lip quivered.

“Baby, please don’t walk away from me,” I was begging and I didn’t care.

“Jase, please move,” she asked again quietly.

“If you’re leaving this opportunity because you hate me,” she closed