Lauren Takes Leave by Gerstenblatt, Julie (ebooks children's books free txt) 📕

Iwalk through this world posing confidently as others laugh. “I’m like theElaine of pole dancing?” I ask.

“Worse. You’re like the Elaine-meets-Tonya-Harding’s-boyfriendof pole dancing.” She shrugs, like it’s a fact and all she’s doing is sharingold news.

Figures. In trying to let loose, I come undone.

True, I may have temporarily misplaced my sexy, but poledancing at Leslie’s is not how I’m going to find it.

That is clear to me now.

“It wasn’t nice of me. To hurt her and then leave likethat. Even if she wasn’t being…gracious. Who does that?” I ask the trees, thesky, the grass, since Kat’s lost to her phone. “Who am I?”

Then, I remember the pressure in my bladder and go insearch of a private spot behind a spruce. I squat as per Kat’s instructions,trying really hard not to pee on my new shoes.

“Charming,” Kat says, upon my return. “Plus, they totallysaw you.” She points to some teenagers leaning out a second-story window at thehouse next door and laughing.

We sit in silence for a few minutes, Kat still clickingaway while I think of something to take my mind off my less-than-graceful exitand current humiliation.

“You were in a hurry to get out of there,” I realize.

“Hmm.”

“That’s very descriptive.”

“Yup.”

I pull back and wait, but, in typical Kat fashion, sheisn’t forthcoming. “Done,” she says, looking satisfied. “We’re going.”

“We’ve left,” I point out.

“Not quite. We’ve left there,” she says, pointingtoward Leslie’s house, “and tomorrow, we’re going here.” She holds thephone out to me, showing an image of white sand and turquoise water.

“I don’t get it,” I say to the screen. “It looks awesome,though, whatever it is.”

“It’s Miami.” Her eyes look bright, in that sameunnatural, vampire way. “I just booked two seats on the seven a.m.”

“Two seats. To Miami. Tomorrow,” I say.

Kat nods and finds a cuticle to bite.

“For us,” I clarify.

She nods again, really digging into that nail with herteeth.

It’s an amazingly stupid idea. I mean, it’s easy for Katto just pick up and leave, but how am I going to pull off something like that?I have children, for God’s sake! A husband! A job.

“Nice try,” I say, handing the phone back to her.

Well, a job that thinks I’m on jury duty. And a babysitterlined up for tomorrow night. And a husband who cancelled on me and is workinglate.

So, really, no one needs me. No one cares.

Maybe no one will even notice I’m gone.

“Give me that phone back.” Kat looks surprised but passesit to me. I stare at the picture and imagine it’s got smell-o-vision, assea-salt air and balmy nights fill my nostrils. Coconut and pineapple mixedwith rum. Suntan lotion spiked with aloe vera, silky to the touch.

And no children begging for me to build a sand castle.

“Something happened back there, at Leslie’s,” Kat says.

I know this; I caused it. “Duh,” I say.

She shakes her curls at me. “No, with me, idiot. Meand…Shay.”

I stare at Kat to see if she’s joking. She’s not.

I think of all that sexual tension in the house, all thosewomen, all that alcohol and lingerie.

And Shay, beautiful Shay, licking my hand.

I want to say something funny, like, You mean, like…aKaty Perry sort of thing? “I kissed a girl and I liked it / The taste ofher cherry Chapstick?” But I’m trying to be mature and cool here. This isabout to be my first discussion about girl-on-girl action, and I want to do itright. I settle on “Could you define this thing that happened back atthe house with you and Shay?”

“We kind of made out,” Kat admits, making a face andconfirming my fears. “Things got…interesting. I think she might have touched my…”

“I don’t want to know!” I shout, covering my earslike there’s a spoiler alert for a new blockbuster coming over the radio. I tryto drown out her words with a “Lalalalalalalala!”

“I know!” Kat agrees. “I am fucking freaking out!”

“Shay is our girl-crush, dude! That means that you admireher, you don’t…fondle her or whatever!”

“I know! It’s like girl-crush gone wild!” she yells.

“Pervert!” I yell back.

“I am!” Kat agrees. “I don’t know what came over me. I mean,one minute I’m asking her where she gets her hair color done, and the nextminute we’re rolling around like female wrestlers…” Kat trails off, thank God.

“Holy crapamoly,” I say. The grass is wet from thesprinklers, and my feet and butt are starting to get numb with cold. I have toask the next question now or I know I never will. “Did you, you know, like it?”

“Sort of.” Kat takes out a cigarette and lights it. I holdout my hand and she passes it to me.

One drag goes right to my head. I cough out the nicotineand wait for more information.

“There were too many parts up top and not enough junk downbelow.” I nod my head to pretend that I’m perfectly able to hear all about thiswithout being weirded out. Kat continues. “I was, like, into it and watchingmyself at the same time, wondering stupid shit, like, What’s the name ofthat perfume she’s wearing? I wonder if it would smell that nice on me? Butthen again, her kisses were soft and her mouth was sort of exciting. And I’dhad too much to drink, obviously, so everything was kind of askew, confusing,you know?”

“Uh-huh.”

Kat pauses, takes a drag, studies me. “You’re looking atme strange.”

“No, no I’m not.” Okay maybe I am. Maybe I’m worried justa tad that my old friend Kat, who I thought I knew so well, who has broken upwith her scumbag husband, is actually a coming-out-of-the-closet lesbian andnow she’s trying to take me away with her to Miami to seduce me on the beach.

“Lauren, I’m not gay,” she says, meeting my eyes.“I’m just, I don’t know, messed up right now. Plus,” she laughs, “you’re not mytype.”

I’m simultaneously insulted and relieved. “I know I’m notas hot as your first kiss,” I say. “But what’s that saying? Once you’ve triedShay, you’re always gay?”

“Start with Shay, it’s the only way?” Kat adds.

I laugh, but tell her the truth. “I’m a little bit afraidof you right now.”

“Get over it and come with me to South Beach. Separatebeds. We’ll