Silas Marner by George Eliot (free children's online books .txt) 📕

with a terrible effort. (“After all, am I certain?” he hastened to add, silently, in anticipation of his own conscience.)

“Why, you’d better leave the child here, then, Master Marner,” said good-natured Mrs. Kimble, hesitating, however, to take those dingy clothes into contact with her own ornamented satin bodice. “I’ll tell one o’ the girls to fetch it.”

“No⁠—no⁠—I can’t part with it, I can’t let it go,” said Silas, abruptly. “It’s come to me⁠—I’ve a right to keep it.”

The proposition to take the child from him had come to Silas quite unexpectedly, and his speech, uttered under a strong sudden impulse, was almost like a revelation to himself: a minute before, he had no distinct intention about the child.

“Did you ever hear the like?” said Mrs. Kimble, in mild surprise, to her neighbour.

“Now, ladies, I must trouble you to stand aside,” said Mr. Kimble, coming from the card-room, in some bitterness at the interruption, but drilled by the long habit of his profession into obedience to unpleasant calls, even when he was hardly sober.

“It’s a nasty business turning out now, eh, Kimble?” said the Squire. “He might ha’ gone for your young fellow⁠—the ’prentice, there⁠—what’s his name?”

“Might? aye⁠—what’s the use of talking about might?” growled uncle Kimble, hastening out with Marner, and followed by Mr. Crackenthorp and Godfrey. “Get me a pair of thick boots, Godfrey, will you? And stay, let somebody run to Winthrop’s and fetch Dolly⁠—she’s the best woman to get. Ben was here himself before supper; is he gone?”

“Yes, sir, I met him,” said Marner; “but I couldn’t stop to tell him anything, only I said I was going for the doctor, and he said the doctor was at the Squire’s. And I made haste and ran, and there was nobody to be seen at the back o’ the house, and so I went in to where the company was.”

The child, no longer distracted by the bright light and the smiling women’s faces, began to cry and call for “mammy,” though always clinging to Marner, who had apparently won her thorough confidence. Godfrey had come back with the boots, and felt the cry as if some fibre were drawn tight within him.

“I’ll go,” he said, hastily, eager for some movement; “I’ll go and fetch the woman⁠—Mrs. Winthrop.”

“Oh, pooh⁠—send somebody else,” said uncle Kimble, hurrying away with Marner.

“You’ll let me know if I can be of any use, Kimble,” said Mr. Crackenthorp. But the doctor was out of hearing.

Godfrey, too, had disappeared: he was gone to snatch his hat and coat, having just reflection enough to remember that he must not look like a madman; but he rushed out of the house into the snow without heeding his thin shoes.

In a few minutes he was on his rapid way to the Stone-pits by the side of Dolly, who, though feeling that she was entirely in her place in encountering cold and snow on an errand of mercy, was much concerned at a young gentleman’s getting his feet wet under a like impulse.

“You’d a deal better go back, sir,” said Dolly, with respectful compassion. “You’ve no call to catch cold; and I’d ask you if you’d be so good as tell my husband to come, on your way back⁠—he’s at the Rainbow, I doubt⁠—if you found him anyway sober enough to be o’ use. Or else, there’s Mrs. Snell ’ud happen send the boy up to fetch and carry, for there may be things wanted from the doctor’s.”

“No, I’ll stay, now I’m once out⁠—I’ll stay outside here,” said Godfrey, when they came opposite Marner’s cottage. “You can come and tell me if I can do anything.”

“Well, sir, you’re very good: you’ve a tender heart,” said Dolly, going to the door.

Godfrey was too painfully preoccupied to feel a twinge of self-reproach at this undeserved praise. He walked up and down, unconscious that he was plunging ankle-deep in snow, unconscious of everything but trembling suspense about what was going on in the cottage, and the effect of each alternative on his future lot. No, not quite unconscious of everything else. Deeper down, and half-smothered by passionate desire and dread, there was the sense that he ought not to be waiting on these alternatives; that he ought to accept the consequences of his deeds, own the miserable wife, and fulfil the claims of the helpless child. But he had not moral courage enough to contemplate that active renunciation of Nancy as possible for him: he had only conscience and heart enough to make him forever uneasy under the weakness that forbade the renunciation. And at this moment his mind leaped away from all restraint toward the sudden prospect of deliverance from his long bondage.

“Is she dead?” said the voice that predominated over every other within him. “If she is, I may marry Nancy; and then I shall be a good fellow in future, and have no secrets, and the child⁠—shall be taken care of somehow.” But across that vision came the other possibility⁠—“She may live, and then it’s all up with me.”

Godfrey never knew how long it was before the door of the cottage opened and Mr. Kimble came out. He went forward to meet his uncle, prepared to suppress the agitation he must feel, whatever news he was to hear.

“I waited for you, as I’d come so far,” he said, speaking first.

“Pooh, it was nonsense for you to come out: why didn’t you send one of the men? There’s nothing to be done. She’s dead⁠—has been dead for hours, I should say.”

“What sort of woman is she?” said Godfrey, feeling the blood rush to his face.

“A young woman, but emaciated, with long black hair. Some vagrant⁠—quite in rags. She’s got a wedding-ring on, however. They must fetch her away to the workhouse tomorrow. Come, come along.”

“I want to look at her,” said Godfrey. “I think I saw such a woman yesterday. I’ll overtake you in a minute or two.”

Mr. Kimble went on, and Godfrey turned back to the cottage. He cast only one glance at the dead face on the pillow,