Not Pretending Anymore by Ward, Penelope (big ebook reader .TXT) 📕

to record this audio. The sound of her moaning my name would come in handy when she wasn’t around much anymore.

When she isn’t around much anymore.

That thought—the thought of her not being around because she was with some other guy—sliced through me. It made me feel possessive and angry. But if this moment was all we were ever going to have, I refused to let Dr. Dickalicious ruin it. So I tamped down the negative thoughts and let my need for her flow into our kiss.

I had no idea how long it lasted; time seemed to stand still. When we finally came up for air, we were both panting. I held her cheeks in my palms as my thumb wiped at the wetness on her lips.

“Wow…” she whispered, looking a bit stunned. “That was…”

I smiled. “Yeah, it was.”

Molly blinked a few times, as if trying to snap out of a daze. “Was that… Are you… Is that just how you kiss, or was that something special?”

I was a man after all, so of course I wanted to take credit and tell her it was all my doing—I was just that good of a kisser. But it would’ve been bullshit. “That was definitely special. It wasn’t me—it was us.”

She swallowed. “Yeah.”

Too soon, reality crept in. Molly’s eyes lifted above my shoulder, and she must’ve caught the time on the microwave. “Shoot.” She frowned. “I have to go. I’m going to be late for work. That was… It took longer than I thought.”

Her legs were still wrapped around my waist, and I dreaded the thought of letting go. Especially because I knew this was it. I was going to be letting her go in more ways than one after this.

“I’ll drive you.”

Molly shook her head. “No, it’s okay. I think I need a few minutes alone to clear my head.”

I wanted every last possible second with her, yet I reluctantly set her down on her feet.

Molly stared at the floor. “Okay, well… I guess I’ll be going.”

I couldn’t resist one more little kiss. So I cupped her chin and nudged her head up until our eyes met again. Leaning in slowly, I pressed my lips to hers and kept them there for a long time. It felt like my heart leapt into my throat when I pulled back. “Bye, Molly.”

She looked at me funny. “You sound like you’re going to be gone when I get home in the morning.”

I forced a smile. “No, I’ll be here.” Licking my wounds and mending a broken heart.

“Okay. Well, have a good night.”

“You, too, Mollz. You, too.”

CHAPTER 19

Molly

“I was going to ask how things were going with you and Dr. Daniels.” Daisy lifted her chin, pointing to my neck. “But I can see they’re going pretty well.” She chuckled.

We’d been making up a bed together for an incoming patient, and my scrub top had pulled to the side. I looked down but couldn’t see what she was referring to.

“What?”

She laughed. “You have a red mark—a hickey right on your collarbone.”

My eyes widened, and I ran to the en suite bathroom to look in the mirror. Sure enough, I had a love bite. Declan must have done it earlier, and I’d had no idea. I straightened my top, and thankfully, it covered the mark again. But then it hit me that Will could have noticed it, rather than Daisy, and that made me feel sick.

What the hell was I doing? I’d been crazy about Will for a long time, yet I’d struggled to make the decision to be exclusive with him. And then I finally made the choice to go for it, and less than forty-eight hours before I’m going to commit to him, I’m sucking face with Declan and getting a hickey.

Why would I have done that if the choice I’d made was the right one? I felt more confused than ever.

Overwhelmed, my emotions got the best of me, and tears welled in my eyes. Great. Just great. Now I’m going to have swollen eyes, a red nose, and another man’s mouth marks on my body. I felt like a horrible person—as if I’d done something traitorous, even though I hadn’t yet told Will we could be exclusive. I tried to sniffle back the tears, but a crushing sadness seeped into my chest, and apparently crying was the way it needed to come out. Fat tears rolled down my face, no matter how hard I tried to stop them.

Since I hadn’t shut the bathroom door, Daisy thought nothing of walking in.

“Molly, do you know where the—”

She took one look at my face and froze. Clearly, she had no idea what to do. We were friendly, but it wasn’t like I told her my problems. She seemed torn between coddling me and running out of the bathroom to get as far away from me as she could. “Are you…okay?”

I sniffled. “I just need a few minutes.”

“Sure, of course. Do you…want me to stay? Is there something you want to talk about?”

I shook my head. “No, I’m sorry. It’s just been a long day. I’ll be out in five.”

“Don’t be silly. Take all the time you need. I’ll cover the desk for as long as it takes. It’s quiet right now, anyway.”

“Thanks, Daisy.”

***

The next morning, I wasn’t ready to go home after my shift ended. I hadn’t been to see my dad in a few days, so after texting Kayla to make sure it was okay, I picked up some bagels and headed to their house.

“Hey, Dad.” I leaned down and kissed his cheek when I arrived. He had a home oxygen system set up now, but the plastic face mask was hanging on the back of the kitchen chair he sat in. I fingered it. “Umm… This works best when it’s on, believe it or not.”

Dad shook his head. “Wiseass. You sound like Kayla. I’m drinking my coffee. I feel fine.”

Every time I came to see him, he looked a little worse.