Forever Logan by Elena Matthews (animal farm read .txt) 📕

up at the ceiling, letting myself get sucked deeper and deeper into the darkness of my soul, when the door slowly creeps open, light flooding into the room. I glance at it from the corner of my eye and see Nate and Kaelyn walking inside.

“There you are,” I hear my sister say. “We’ve been looking all over for you.”

“Well, you’ve found me,” I tell them dryly, resuming my attention to the ceiling that’s kept me company for the past few hours—or at least, it feels like hours.

The bed shifts on either side of me, and I feel the warmth of Nate and Kaelyn.

Kaelyn brushes through my hair while Nate asks, “You doing okay, bro?”

“What do you think?” I mumble back, void of any emotion.

I can sense my sister’s eyes on me as she shifts to her side. “I’m sorry about before. I didn’t realize how serious you were about her.”

Letting out a deep breath, I say, “Why would you? Once a player, always a player, right? I mean, Ally thinks I’m a piece of shit, so why wouldn’t you? Plus, you weren’t the one being an asshole; Blake was.”

“Logan,” she says, taking hold of my hand and squeezing me tight, and the feel of her sympathy just makes the emotions bubbling up in my throat grow even stronger. “You are not a piece of shit. You are sweet, loyal, and so unbelievably strong. Any girl would be lucky to have you, and I’m sorry that she can’t see that. And as for Blake, I’ve already given him a piece of my mind.”

I’d laugh if I had the ability to.

Nate gently taps my shoulder with his fist. “Yeah, you should have seen her all up in his face. I think he literally crapped himself.”

He snorts while I keep my face completely neutral. His humor fades with a deep sigh.

“I’m sorry this is happening, man. I mean, I’m pissed at you for not telling me. You know, we’re twins, so we don’t keep shit to ourselves. But I get it; you wanted to wait to tell us until after the wedding. I appreciate that, but you didn’t have to keep it a secret because you thought you’d somehow steal the limelight. I never would have seen it like that.”

“I’m sorry, man, but it’s not like it matters anymore.”

“What are you talking about? Of course it does. You love her, and I’ve known it since the day you met her.”

“Yeah, well, love can suck it.”

With Kaelyn stroking my hair, I finally let myself be vulnerable.

“I never expected this to hurt so much. I just hate that I wasn’t enough.” My voice cracks, and the tears I’ve been holding at bay finally leak from my eyes as a cry rips from my lungs.

“It’s okay, baby brother. Let it out. I’m here for you, your family is here for you, and no matter what, we will always be here for you.”

She leans her head against mine, comforting me in a way only a sister can. Pulling her into me, I sob against her while Nate squeezes my shoulder in a brotherly way. And for the first time in a very long time, in maybe forever actually, I cry myself to sleep from a broken heart.

I smile around my champagne flute as I watch how happy my twin brother looks right now, just a few seats down from me at the top table. He’s dressed to the nines in a tux while his bride, who looks like a fairy-tale princess in her beautiful white dress, sits beside him. Nate and Remi are a match made in heaven, and though these five weeks have been the hardest five weeks of my life, being here, on their wedding day…well, I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in the world.

I’m watching them laugh with each other when my eyes snag on the brunette woman sitting on the other side of Nate, and my heart throbs at the mere sight of her.

Ally.

Fuck.

I miss her so much.

She’s the only thing I’ve been dreading about this day.

My obsession with her hasn’t faded in the slightest, especially with how effortlessly beautiful she looks today in her blush bridesmaid gown, flawless makeup, and perfect, wavy hair. How can she expect a guy to get over her when she looks like that? It’s not fair.

And just to add to the torment, I’ve also noticed she’s wearing the gold heart necklace I bought her for Christmas. I’ve been trying not to read anything into it, but it’s hard not to. I mean, it must mean something for her to wear it today of all days, right?

Since the ceremony and up until now, though I told myself I couldn’t look at her, that I wouldn’t let myself…I’ve failed because, every few seconds, my eyes travel to her.

God, I hate her…except how can I hate her when I love her so much? She’s all I think about, day and night.

These past weeks have been so hard, and trying to keep my distance has been harder. When we first broke up, I couldn’t even bear to be in the same room as her. I was still angry for her lack of faith in me, but as the wedding got even closer, I had to get over my sulking over Ally and be exactly who I was supposed to be—Nate’s best man. We managed to keep our interactions to a minimum, and if we spoke, we kept it only neutral with wedding subjects. We’ve been keeping things so neutral that we don’t even argue anymore, and it doesn’t feel right. It feels like a part of my soul is missing. I hate that we haven’t been able to go back to the bickering friends we started as, but maybe, once I’ve eventually gotten over her and my heart no longer aches every single time I glance in her direction, then we can go back to normal. Until then though, pretending we don’t know each other is the