Mr. Darcy's Diary by Amanda Grange (books for students to read .txt) π
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- Author: Amanda Grange
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grown so brown and coarse. Louisa and I were agreeing
that we should not have known her again.β
It was clear to me that Carolineβs remarks were
inspired by jealousy. I had wondered, on occasion, if
she fancied herself the next Mrs Darcy, but dismissed
the notion. Now I was sure of it. I was determined not
to let her ill-natured remarks ruin my happiness,
however.
βI saw nothing different about her, except that she was
rather tanned, no miraculous consequence of travelling
in summer.β
βFor my own part,β she went on spitefully,βI must confess that I never could see any beauty in her.β
As she went on to criticize Elizabethβs nose, chin,
complexion and teeth I grew more and more annoyed,
but said nothing, even when she added: βAnd as for her
eyes, which have sometimes been called so fine, I never
could perceive anything extraordinary in them.β
She looked at me challengingly, but I remained determinedly silent.
βI remember your saying one night, after they had
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been dining at Netherfield: βShe is a beauty! β I should
as soon call her mother a witβ.β
βYes,β I replied, unable to contain myself, βbut that was
only when I first knew her, for it is many months since
I have considered her as one of the handsomest women
of my acquaintance.β
And so saying, I walked out of the room.
Carolineβs impertinence goes beyond all bounds. If she
was not Bingleyβs sister I would tell her to leave.To insult
Elizabeth, to me! She must be far gone with jealousy
indeed.
But she cannot pierce my happiness. I love Elizabeth.
Now it only remains to be seen if Elizabeth loves me.
Friday 8th August
I could not sleep last night, but this time the cause was
happiness. I think Elizabeth is not averse to me. In time,
I think, she might come to like me. I thank the happy
fate that brought her to Derbyshire, and the happier one
that prompted me to ride ahead of the rest of my party,
in time to meet her. In London, I tried to forget her, but
it was impossible. Now, I must try to win her.
I went to the inn, therefore, this morning, hoping to
sit with her. I was shown up to the parlour by the servant. As we went upstairs I wondered what expression
would cross her face when I entered the room. By that,
I might know much. A smile would show I was welcome. Embarrassment would give me leave to hope. A
cold look would dash me completely.
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The door opened. But instead of seeing Elizabeth sitting
with her aunt, I saw her darting towards the door, her face
pale and her manner agitated. I started, thinking some great
calamity must have befallen her to produce such a look, but
before I had a chance to speak she turned anguished eyes
to mine and exclaimed:βI beg your pardon, but I must leave
you. I must find Mr Gardiner this moment, on business that
cannot be delayed; I have not an instant to lose.β
βGood God! What is the matter?β I asked, longing to
be of service to her. As soon as the words were out, I
knew how unhelpful they had been. Collecting myself, I
said:βLet me, or let the servant, go after Mr Gardiner.You
are not well enough; you cannot go yourself.β
βOh, yes, the servant.β She called him back and said
breathlessly:βYou must find my uncle. Fetch him at once.
It is a matter of the utmost urgency. Send a boy.Tell him
his niece needs him immediately.Tell my aunt. She must
come, too.β
The servant promised to do so, and left the room.
I saw Elizabethβs knees tremble and I moved forward,
ready to lend her my assistance, but she sat down before
I could reach her, looking so miserably ill that I could
not have left her, even if I had wanted to.
βLet me call your maid,β I said gently, feeling suddenly
useless. I knew nothing about helping ladies in such circumstances. A sudden thought hit me. βA glass of wine,
shall I fetch you one?β
βNo, I thank you,β she said. I saw her wrestle with herself and control the worst of her agitation. βI am quite
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well. I am only distressed by some dreadful news which
I have just received from Longbourn.β
She burst into tears. I longed to go to her and comfort her. I longed to put my arms around her and ease her
pain. But I could do nothing. For the first time in my life
I cursed civility, good manners and breeding. They had
always seemed so important to me, but they now seemed
valueless because they were keeping me from Elizabeth.
A moment longer and I believe I would have thrown
convention to the wind, but she recovered herself and
said: βI have just had a letter from Jane, with such dreadful news. My youngest sister has left all her friends β has
eloped β has thrown herself into the power of β of Mr
Wickham. They are gone off together from Brighton.
You know him too well to doubt the rest. She has no
money, no connections, nothing that can tempt him β
she is lost for ever.β
I could not believe what I was hearing.This was perfidy indeed.To steal a young girl away from her relatives
and friends. And yet he had done it before, or at least he
had tried to do it and would have succeeded if he had
not been foiled in the attempt.
βWhen I consider that I might have prevented it! I
who knew what he was,β she said.
No, I wanted to say. You are not to blame. I should
have made his nature known. But the words were pouring out of her in a torrent, and I could do nothing but
let her speak. At last, her flow came to an end.
βBut is it certain, absolutely certain?β I asked.
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News travels fast, especially bad news, but it is
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