The Crush by Ward Penelope (best book recommendations txt) 📕

I loved her back, but I froze. I didn’t want her to think I was only saying it because she had.

Farrah straightened up to look me in the eyes. “Don’t feel like you have to say anything back, okay? I just wanted you to know how I feel.”

“I don’t feel like I deserve your love,” I said. “Even years ago, after I found out you had feelings for me, I always noticed the way you looked at me and felt undeserving of that admiration. When I came back here after all these years and found that you still looked at me that way, I felt even less deserving.” Placing my hands around her face, I tried my best to tell her exactly how I felt. “You said I make you feel safe… Well, you make me feel the same. When I’m with you, I don’t want anything or anyone else. I’ve never felt this way in my life. I—”

The sound of banging interrupted me. Then came a flash of light that hit me in the eyes. At first, it was hard to see through the raindrops. I thought it was a cop. But when I got a look at his face after lowering the window, I immediately wished to God that it had been the police. I turned to her. Regardless of how freaked out I was, there was nothing worse than having to witness the fear in Farrah’s eyes.

She trembled. “Oh no.”

How could this be happening?

How the hell did he know we were here?

“It’s gonna be okay,” I said, hoping that was true.

Vowing to be strong, I opened the door and got out. Farrah did the same.

“What the fuck is going on?” Nathan shouted in my face.

Trying my best to remain calm, I asked, “Why are you here?”

Nathan looked almost possessed, his eyes bugging out of his head and filled with rage in the pouring rain. “Why am I here? That’s a damn good question. How about…I’m not as stupid as you think! Both of you gone every single night from the freaking house? The way you make googly eyes at each other? I didn’t want to believe it for a long time. Then tonight it just hit me, like ‘how stupid can you be, Nathan?’” He turned his attention to Farrah. “I put two and two together, especially after you lied to me about staying home from work that day. I decided to drive by Kellianne’s after I dropped Crystal off tonight. Of course, your car was there, but no one was home. So, fine… I thought maybe by some chance I was wrong. I gave you the benefit of the doubt—figured maybe you were out with her in the middle of the goddamn night. So I decided to go home, and what do I see on my way back but a truck that looks an awful lot like Jace’s parked on the side of the road—in this spot of all places?”

Farrah’s voice was shaky. She wiped rain from her face. “We were going to tell you, Nathan.”

“Oh really? That’s easy to say now that I caught you, right? You’ve spent half your life throwing yourself at him. It finally worked for ya, huh?”

“Don’t talk to her like that.” I put my arm around her protectively.

He nearly spit on me when he said, “I have nothing to say to you. You can have any whore you want in this entire town, and you mess around with my sister? Seriously, how much lower can you get? You move in with us to help me out, and this is how you do it? By banging my sister, when you know damn well you’re not staying in Palm Creek?”

“I’d stay for her,” I immediately said.

“What? You can’t be serious.”

“I’m dead serious, Nathan. I wasn’t expecting it to happen, but I fell in love with your sister.”

Farrah’s eyes met mine, and the fear in them seemed to ease a little. That wasn’t the way I’d wanted to unleash those words, but here we were.

I love her.

“Love?” Nathan scoffed. “You’ve got to be kidding me. You don’t know shit about love,” he screamed. “Lust, maybe…”

Raising my voice, I yelled back, “I get that you’re angry we kept this from you, but we needed to figure things out in private before throwing it on you.”

“There’s nothing to figure out. Because this ain’t happening.” He turned to her. “Not if you give two shits about your relationship with me, it ain’t.”

Farrah got in his face. “You’re really going to sit here and say I have to choose him or you?”

Nathan flashed me a diabolical look. “You don’t have any clue who you’re really getting involved with, little sister.”

His words were a punch to the stomach. Fear rose within me. And I knew. I knew what was coming. My instinct was to look down at my feet so I didn’t have to see the pain in her eyes when she found out.

Farrah continued to defend my actions. “Of course, I know him! I trust Jace more than I trust most people. He’s your best friend, for Christ’s sake. You should trust him, too.”

“Really. Tell me then, did you have a clue that the guy you’re screwing is probably the reason our parents aren’t here?”

Farrah gripped my side, my shirt now drenched. “How dare you say that!”

She had no idea what she was defending.

“Nathan, stop,” I demanded.

She couldn’t find out like this.

She looked at me. “Why would he say something so cruel?”

I felt the world closing in on me. The right words were nowhere to be found.

“Why would I say that?” Nathan replied. “Because it’s true. The only reason the gunman fired at our parents that day was because Jace decided to charge at him. The guy never would have shot Mom and Dad if Jace hadn’t provoked him.” He looked me in the eyes. “He’s the reason our parents aren’t here.”

He’d unleashed those words in the most terrible way, leaving me speechless to defend myself.

Farrah, though?