The Crush by Ward Penelope (best book recommendations txt) 📕

“How the hell do you know that, Nathan? You weren’t even there.”

“I didn’t have to be. Jace told me.”

Her eyes glistened as she turned to me. “Is that true?”

I could hardly get the words out. But I tried for her sake. “Yes…I…thought I could tackle him. I tried to…and…” My voice shook as I found myself unable to explain my rationale that day.

As I watched the pained expression on Farrah’s face, I regretted the day all those years ago I’d decided to open up to Nathan about what happened. He would’ve never known if I hadn’t told him. But about a year after the accident, the truth had been eating away at me. The fact that I’d charged at the assailant never made it into the police report because I’d never told anyone. The decision to try to get the gun from him continued to haunt me every day of my life. And now, my secret was ripped open for what felt like all the world to see—or at least my entire world: Farrah.

To my absolute shock, rather than cry or come at me with hatred, Farrah wrapped her arms around me again. “It’s not your fault, Jace. Whatever you did…you thought you were protecting them.”

But Nathan wouldn’t leave it. “If he really thinks he didn’t do anything wrong, then why did he not tell you? He hid the most important thing from you so it didn’t deter his chances of taking advantage of you.”

My fists tightened. “That’s not fucking true, Nathan.” I knew he was hurt, but I wanted to punch him right now.

“You’re just another notch on his belt, Farrah.”

I didn’t know what was worse: the fact that Farrah had to find out this way, the fact that Nathan was hurt, or the fact that deep down, I worried he was right about me, about all of this. Farrah sticking up for me only solidified the fact that she was too easy on me. It hadn’t even taken her a full minute to put all of her faith in me. I didn’t deserve the huge pass she was giving me right now.

Nathan pointed his finger at me. “I thought I could forgive you for that huge mistake you made because it was unintentional. But this? Sneaking around with my sister? This was calculated. You crossed a line. I won’t forgive this, and I won’t forget everything else, either.”

Farrah still hadn’t let go of me. “Nathan, please. Can we all just go home and discuss this?”

“Home? He’s not coming home. And you can decide whether you want to go with him or come home with me. Because you can’t have it both ways.”

“You’ve got to be kidding,” she cried.

“I’m not kidding in the least.” He glared at me. “You can come tomorrow when I’m at work and pack up all your shit.”

Nathan said nothing else as he got back into his car and sped away, tires spinning in the wet gravel as he pulled out.

We continued to stand in the rain, both of us in shock. As I pulled Farrah into my arms, I felt helpless. Quickly, I ushered her back into my truck. We were both soaked.

This moment was my biggest nightmare: Farrah having to make a choice between her brother and me. Moreover, I knew it wasn’t a choice. She would choose me, if I let her. If I took her with me tonight, things might never be the same between them. I wasn’t sure I could live with that guilt. I already blamed myself for their parents’ death, and now I was going to rip apart their family in another way?

Kissing her forehead softly, I said, “I’ll drive you to your car. Then I’ll go to my parents’. He needs some time to cool down, but if you leave with me tonight, this situation will get ten times worse.”

She looked conflicted. “Okay…maybe you’re right.”

I was relieved she didn’t fight me on it.

“Maybe in the morning he will have calmed down a little, but I can’t go back there with you tonight.”

“I’m so sorry this happened.” A tear fell down her cheek.

I wiped it away. “Me too, baby. Me too.”

The ride back to the house was eerily quiet. My guilt felt suffocating. What I’d done clearly hadn’t hit Farrah yet. When the shock faded and it finally did, things would get ugly.

Chapter 17

Farrah

Almost a week went by before I saw Jace again. He had come to the house to get all of his things the day after Nathan caught us, but he’d done it while we were both at work. He’d called to check on me a few times, but that was the extent of it. He said it was best to stay away from each other for a while. This felt like a nightmare.

At first, I’d just assumed he was avoiding Nathan, but with each day that passed, I worried he was also avoiding me. I didn’t want to lose my brother, but the fear of losing Jace trumped all.

In our numerous arguments over the past week, Nathan had made it clear that he wasn’t backing down about Jace’s betrayal. Not only could he not forgive Jace for dating me, but he’d opened a major old wound. That explained so much about why the robbery was always so difficult for them to talk about. But even with the knowledge that Jace might have caused the gunman to shoot, I couldn’t blame him for everything. And I didn’t understand how Nathan could. It made me sad that Jace had been living with that guilt all this time. I worried that he’d spent the past week beating himself up about what happened all over again. I was worried for us—but I was more worried for him.

When I got out of work Friday afternoon, my prayers were finally answered. Jace’s truck was parked outside my office building.

Finally.

He got out and shut the door