Don't Go by L.J. Breedlove (series like harry potter txt) 📕

And nodded. Then she relayed to Vic what Joseph had said. Had decided, really, she thought with amusement. He would be the next leader of the family; it was obvious.

She relayed the new plan to Vic, who looked over the map and the Greyhound website. “I don’t like it,” he said. “Let me talk to Ryan. It might be better for him to just go to Nampa. That’s I82 all the way, only an 8- to 10-hour drive. Call me back tomorrow morning, and I will have an answer from him.”

“Wait! He can’t just drop out of school and do this! He’s so close to graduating and what about Eyewitness News?” Teresa exclaimed, as the details began to sink in.

“I asked that. I was informed he had it all under control. Your University Provost didn’t disagree with him, and he was standing right there. I’d guess it’s under control,” Vic said dryly. “Look Teresa, you and Ryan are going to spend 15 hours in a car together. You can sort it all out there. But Ryan seems determined to do this. So, let him.”

“OK,” she whispered. “Tell him I love him, and to hug Rafael for me?”

“Jesus,” Vic said with fake disgust. “Now I’m passing love notes?”

That made her laugh as he had intended.

“Thank you, Vic,” she said.

She handed the phone to Joseph and nodded. They got back in the pickup and Joseph drove back towards Nampa.

Chapter 23

2 p.m. Tuesday, Oct. 27, 2020, OHSU psychiatric unit — Ryan saw that he’d missed a call from Vic Ruiz, but when he called back, his call went to voice mail. Frustrated, he turned the phone off, and went into his appointment with Dr. Clarke.

“Last time we met, you were talking about the empty bucket,” she said. “It’s got a hole in it and no matter what you do, you can’t feel complete. Connected. Bonded?”

“I don’t belong to anyone,” he said. “I want to have what the Washingtons have. That sense of family, of belonging. You called them hookups, that will do. I have had a lot of hookups. But that’s not enough. And it’s like eating potato chips when you need a real meal. You keep eating more and more chips, but really you’re starving to death at the same time.”

“OK,” Erica Clarke said, sounding pleased. “You see the Washingtons as a role model for what you want. That’s good. It’s concrete. You’re seeing them through rose-colored glasses, but you’re not too far wrong. You might talk to Martha about what she’s had to give up being the wife of a Baptist preacher. There’s been a lot of compromise, and even sacrifice, to create what you see and want — no more than want, what you yearn for.”

“Yearn is a good word,” he agreed.

“But Ryan, you also sell yourself short,” the doctor said. “You have created pieces of that dream for yourself. At the loft with your housemates. But even more so at the newsroom with your staff. You’re not some loner who never connects. You do have attachments. Meaningful ones. Ones that a lot of people would envy. You are not alone.”

He looked at her for a moment. He started to say something and stopped. Sat there, thinking.

“Look at this last week. You have a crisis: a son is dropped in your lap. Your staff rallies around you. Cage shares his parents with you. J.J. — who just days ago was so suicidal I almost wouldn’t let him out, even to the Washingtons — is offering to babysit for you. Even the Provost. He’s going far out of his way to help you out. Sure, some of that is enlightened self-interest on his part, but he seems to really care that you succeed.”

Erica Clarke didn’t tell him about the conversation she’d had with McShane when he’d called about the lab results of Ryan’s near-death overdose. She didn’t think McShane realized how paternal — in a good way — he sounded. It had been quite amusing, actually.

“But it doesn’t make me feel connected,” Ryan objected. He thought about it. “What you’re saying is I am connected. It’s the feeling part that’s off. You know what? That... that actually makes sense.”

He told her about sitting in the car and wanting to go look for a hookup, but he hadn’t because he mentally reviewed what he’d experienced with Teresa and realized he didn’t want anything less than that.

“Very good,” Dr. Clarke said, sounding pleased. “And working a bit on delayed gratification won’t hurt you either.”

Ryan laughed. “Adolescent male behavior again?”

She smiled at him. “Near as I can tell from personal experience adolescent male behavior isn’t outgrown until well after their 40s.”

Ryan looked at her out of the side of his eye. “How old is your husband?”

“Turns 50 next year.”

Ryan laughed and left her office, smiling. He didn’t even feel the need to flirt with the nurse.

He’d missed another call from Vic. He called him back with some sense of dread.

“Calm down, everything is fine,” Vic said.

Ryan leaned back against the seat in his car and closed his eyes. She was all alone. He must have said his last thought out loud because Vic said, “No she’s not alone, Ryan. But there are concerns. ICE has been sniffing around. It may be totally unconnected to her. It’s harvest time, and it’s Idaho.”

“Idaho? What’s she doing there?”

“She was headed to Mexico by the Sojourners Express,” Vic said sourly. “Now will you listen?”

“Sorry,” Ryan muttered.

“OK, so the people she’s with are going to move on, but she’s staying behind in Nampa. You can be there in six hours and a bit. Tomorrow, dumb ass,” Vic said, rightfully guessing Ryan was planning to leave immediately. “She won’t be ready to leave herself until tomorrow.  Think. Can you truly leave tomorrow morning and go get her?”

“And then we drive to San Francisco from there?”

“Or come back here. That’s your call. How serious a threat do you think Black is? When I was listening to you and McShane it seemed