Gifting Fire by Alina Boyden (read my book .TXT) 📕

through the canyons west of Jesera together on daredevil flights that would have made my father furious had he ever found out about them. He taught me to handle his zahhak, Zahira, though I think my father would have killed me had he ever caught me taking her out alone.”

“I learned to fly with Father on Zahira’s back too, Auntie,” Rais told her. “If you’d like to come up with me, I have a double saddle, and I’m sure Farida would be honored to bear you aloft.”

Asma looked hopefully at her son, realizing after an instant that I had brought her around to being completely in favor of a flight over the lagoon that permitted me and my sisters some measure of freedom. Her kohl-ringed eyes narrowed slightly, but I thought I detected in her smile some measure of reluctant admiration for the way I had handled things.

Karim stared at me for a long second, as if he was trying to work out what angle I was playing, but after a moment he shrugged his shoulders. “Yes, I think that sounds like a lovely idea, Razia. I’ll bring Jamshid and a few others along to serve as adversaries for your sisters, and to give them whatever advice they can.”

I knew that the real reason for the extra fliers was to keep us from trying to run off, but since I wasn’t trying to run away today, I didn’t care. I was able to say, “Thank you, your highness,” with such genuine enthusiasm that Karim couldn’t have mistaken it for anything else. It didn’t exactly get him to lower his guard, not yet, but I had definitely won this battle, and I didn’t think he even realized it.

CHAPTER 14

You pleased me today,” Karim said, his arm wrapped tightly around my back, pulling me close beside him, his fingers absentmindedly rubbing at the sleek, soft fabric of my peshwaz’s silk sleeve.

The heat of Karim’s body against mine, the feeling of his hands on me—it was enough to make bile rise in the back of my throat, but I was already getting better at fighting it down. Another day or two, and I’d probably not feel it at all, though I knew that nothing would change the sense of dread I got in the pit of my stomach whenever we were alone in a room together. Standing there on my balcony, watching the sun set behind desert hills, framed perfectly by the twin forts that guarded the entrance to Kadiro’s harbor, I tried to pretend that it was Arjun’s arm around me, his body pressed close to mine, but my heart wasn’t so easily fooled.

“I am glad, your highness,” I said, hoping that I managed to sound sincere.

I must have missed the mark, because he asked, “Are you?”

A ripple of uncertainty ran through my body, and I knew he must have felt it, but I thought that hiding my fear and my dread was the wrong move. One day wouldn’t change our relationship. He wouldn’t believe that. And anyway, I had reason enough to be afraid beyond our past history. It was normal for a girl dragged into a marriage she hadn’t wanted, whatever the circumstances. And besides, I thought, the more uncertain and helpless I sounded, the more easily I would be able to shed Karim’s suspicions that I might be planning to undermine him.

“I thought you just said that I had pleased you, your highness . . .” I whispered, my voice quivering with anxiety.

He rubbed my arm a little harder, not painfully so, almost like he was trying to reassure me. “You did. But it makes me wonder why.”

“Because I don’t know what else to do,” I replied, letting my shoulders hunch a little, my body shrinking in his grasp.

He arched an eyebrow, his lips forming an unreadable line beneath his curled mustache. “Do you really expect me to believe that you’ve given up so easily?”

I stared down at my slippers and said nothing. That was what a cowed woman would do, wasn’t it?

“You will answer me when I ask you questions, Razia,” he said, and I couldn’t have missed the warning note in his voice.

“I don’t know what you want from me, your highness,” I replied. “You’ve said many times now that you’ve outmaneuvered me, that you have planned for all eventualities, that you won’t be beaten by me. And you said this very morning that the sooner I realized those facts and accepted them, the better it would be for both of us.”

“That’s all true,” he agreed, “but I know you. You would never give up so easily.”

“Why not?” I asked, looking up into his eyes—helplessly, I hoped. “If I can’t see any way out, then why should I keep fighting? Why should I risk something horrible happening to me, or God forbid, to my sisters, if it’s hopeless?”

Tears welled in the corners of my eyes. I’d expected that it would take some effort to conjure them, but with Karim’s arms around me, with the tension of my first attempt at passing messages before me, it took no effort at all. They just appeared, and began streaming down my cheeks. I looked away from Karim, like I was afraid that crying would upset him. I hunched my shoulders, like I was expecting him to hit me for them.

I felt the uncertainty in Karim’s hand on my arm. It had stopped moving, like he didn’t know whether to grab me or pet me to calm me down. After a moment, his grip tightened. “This is a trick.”

“Please don’t hurt me.” I breathed the words, letting my body tremble in his grasp. His hand loosened once more, and I knew that I had him confused, that I had to really sell this. “If you don’t want me to try to please you, then please tell me what it is you do want from me, your highness.

“Shall I try to