The Nurse by J. Corrigan (list of ebook readers txt) 📕

‘It doesn’t matter.’ He held my chin, looked at me. ‘My mum always fed me when I was sad.’

‘Night, Daniel.’

As I made my way up the stairs, the bell went again, and by the time I heard Daniel open the front door, I was already brushing my teeth.

I lay in bed for half an hour, unable to sleep. I was thirsty, too. I got up, put on a jumper and made my way downstairs to get water. I heard voices coming from the kitchen, and assumed it would be Ed.

It wasn’t Ed. I recognised the voice as Miles’s. Despite them being colleagues and Miles working at Bluefields, he never came to Daniel’s house. I got that, though: socializing and working together could be too much.

‘I’m letting you go, Miles. It’s time. I’ll give you all the references you need.’

‘Why now?’ Miles replied. ‘I wanted to leave years ago.’

‘I want your desk cleared and you gone by the end of the week. Here.’

‘I don’t want money.’

‘Suit yourself,’ Daniel replied.

‘And can I trust you’ll say nothing in the future?’ Miles said.

‘You have my word.’

Then silence. I waited for more.

‘Take care of Rose,’ Miles replied. ‘And tell her—’

Daniel interrupted. ‘With all due respect, Rose is none of your business, and never was.’

One of them or both were moving towards the slightly ajar kitchen door. I turned on my heel and almost ran back upstairs. When I got to the bedroom, I rushed to the loo and threw up.

I heard Miles’s car start up outside. I waited a few minutes, then made my way downstairs again and found Daniel washing up. He turned when he heard me.

‘That was Miles. I’ve asked for his resignation. I didn’t want to say anything to you before.’ He wiped his hands with a towel. ‘It’s time Miles did what he really wants to do, which is work within the NHS. He’s been wanting a job in intensive care for years.’ He paused and took a short breath. ‘It’s time I stopped coddling him.’

‘Coddling?’

‘Miles has, or did have, a little bit of a drug habit. But I think he’s on the straight and narrow now. I feel happy to let him go, and back into NHS medicine.’

‘Are you sure that’s okay?’ I leant against the wall. ‘I mean, is he… you know, all right? You have a duty, Daniel… safeguarding patients.’

‘It’s fine. Miles is safe. I’ve been monitoring him.’

I hated the thought of secrets between us. ‘I did hear; I came down for water. What did Miles mean, that you should take care of me, and tell me what?’

‘Tell you about his problem.’

‘That has nothing to do with me.’

He shrugged. ‘No, but Miles is a pretty straight bloke really. Maybe he just wanted you to know.’

‘Did you offer him money?’

‘I just want to help him out. Make the transition easier.’

I turned the kitchen tap and filled a glass with water. ‘I sensed something sad about Miles. A few students on our course have dabbled with drugs. Amphetamines to keep them awake to cram, and for the long shifts when on placement.’ I paused. ‘Did he start taking them at med school?’

Daniel nodded.

‘And you’ve been protecting him?’ I took a sip of water.

‘I’ve tried, and I have helped him, but it’s time for us to part ways.’

I kicked at the edge of the kitchen mat. ‘I’m going up. I’m so tired.’

‘You do that. I’ll sleep in the spare room. I don’t want to disturb you.’

When finally Daniel came upstairs, he did go to the spare room. In the middle of the night, I got up and made my way there, finding him fast asleep. I climbed into bed and moulded myself to his back, looping my arms round him. He didn’t move; just took my hand and kissed it.

‘I love you, Rose, and I’m sorry for what I said about Noah.’

41

25 July 1991

The next morning, I called my mum, who was just about to start an early shift at Bluefields. She told me she’d be back at three o’clock.

I took the bus and was there at two, but didn’t let myself in and instead sat outside on the step waiting for her. It was a lovely day – warm but not too humid – and I was reminded of my childhood, when I’d often forgotten my key. Despite my mum’s general benevolent neglect, I did remember that after quite a few times of me forgetting, she began leaving one in a welly by the back door.

She wasn’t all bad, and today I needed to talk to her.

Half an hour later, she was making me a cup of tea in a tidy kitchen.

‘How’s the new job going?’ I asked.

‘Fine.’ She glanced at me as she put milk in the mugs. ‘What’s wrong, Rose?’

‘Apart from quitting my course—’

‘Oh love, what’s happened?’

‘It doesn’t matter, and it’s not that that’s bothering me. It was always on the cards.’

She took a step closer and I thought she was going to give me a hug. I waited. It didn’t happen. ‘You can go back to your training after the baby’s born,’ she said instead.

‘It’s not just that.’

‘You having second thoughts?’

‘About what?’

‘An abortion.’

‘No! Definitely not. I’m having second thoughts about Daniel.’ I fidgeted. ‘I can’t let it go.’

She sighed. ‘I thought you had a lovely time in Spain.’

‘I did, it’s just—’

‘What? He loves you. You love him, don’t you? He’ll be good for you, good for our family.’

I knew my mum liked him. ‘I do love him… but he said something the other night and it’s really bothering me.’

‘What did he say?’

‘Basically, a racist and homophobic comment.’

‘Why are you always on a mission to be so correct and proper? Daniel’s a different generation to you.’ She paused, smiled a little. ‘He’s only five or six years younger than me.’

‘That’s true.’ It was exactly what Daniel had said that morning.

‘He’s in a position to look after you.’

‘I’m not like you.’

‘No, you’re not. Never were.’ She sighed again. ‘You don’t have to struggle