All The Pretty Ghosts (The Never Series Book 1) by Jamie Campbell (my miracle luna book free read .TXT) 📕

Our heads started leaning toward one another. My lips were ready, my stomach clenching and already anticipating the sweetness of our kiss.

I wanted it so badly.

I needed it.

My eyes automatically closed. We were so close, all I had to do was angle my head upwards just a little, and our lips would collide in our first kiss.

The first of many.

So, so many.

My breath hitched in my throat and I waited for it to happen. I waited for the warmth that would spread through me, making the cold long forgotten. I waited.

And waited.

I opened my eyes. Oliver was pulling back, shifting uncomfortably on the hard floor. “Sorry,” he whispered.

I guess I got what I wanted, my cheeks burned with the blush that ran over my face. I felt warmer in my embarrassment than I had all afternoon. Even if he had slapped me, it wouldn’t have hurt as badly as his rejection.

“No, I’m sorry. I… I didn’t mean…” I stammered. Full sentences weren’t possible while my mind still reeled. My fingers touched my mouth where his lips should have been instead. They wondered what was wrong with them.

Oliver smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. He shifted away from me, leaving a gaping chasm between us that wasn’t altogether space related.

There were no words that would make our situation better. I thought Oliver was feeling the same electricity between us.

I was wrong.

So very, very wrong.

But I had been so certain. How could he not have felt it? It was palpable, it was like I could have reached out and touched the connection that had pulsed in the air. Surely anyone would have been able to see it?

As it was now, I couldn’t even reach out and touch Oliver himself. He was too far away. He had removed himself from me both mentally and physically.

Any words I wanted to say were choked in my throat. The tears wanted to sting my eyes but I wouldn’t let them. I wasn’t going to cry over some stupid boy when there were so many other problems in the world.

I wasn’t going to do it.

It was stupid of me to let the emotions overwhelm my sensibilities. I thought I had managed to quash them all shortly after the Event and everything changed. I thought I was in more control of myself.

I had been numb for so long and somehow Oliver had managed to unlock all my emotions until they were a flowing river. I had let him in and was now paying the price.

So stupid.

I laid on the floor, using my arm as a pillow and let out the breath I had been holding. I huddled under the coat like it was my shield to keep the world away. I wanted to forget everything that had happened. Not only with Oliver, but with Jet and the adults, too. It was all too much to take in.

All too painful to process.

I closed my eyes but sleep didn’t come easily. It drifted around me, taunting me with being just out of my grasp. The sweet relief it offered was just an illusion.

Oliver shifted. “Goodnight, Ev,” he whispered. I didn’t reply. I pretended I was already asleep.

The sound of him breathing was the only noise in the room as I listened for a long time. If he was having any trouble sleeping, he was a far better actor than I was. He didn’t even seem to move as his slow breaths went in and then out again.

In and out.

Like a dance with its own beat.

Sometime in the darkness of the night, I fell asleep to that beat. I was frozen by morning. The cold had taken up residence in my bones and was refusing to move. Its harsh tendrils were gripping on tight and would not be swayed from its position.

Sitting up and running a hand through my hair, Oliver was already up. His face was still as beautiful it was last night, weary but not defeated. The memory of our almost-kiss rushed back into my mind, sending a new round of embarrassment to my cheeks.

A new wave of pain, hurt, and longing.

“Sleep well?” I asked. I desperately hoped he wasn’t picturing the same thing I was. It couldn’t be a barrier between us, I couldn’t bear it. He was the only person I still had, the price of losing him was far too much. As bad as his rejection stung, it was better suffering it than losing him altogether.

“As good as it gets these days,” he replied with a tired smile. “You were dreaming, you were mumbling something. Did you have nightmares?”

“Not that I remember.” I hoped my mumbles were incoherent and didn’t tell him everything that had been on my mind before I slept. I could only imagine the horror of following that thought right through.

He stood, leaning against the wall. His eyes roamed the small room, he wanted to say something. He always did that when he was formulating words into sentences. Oliver rarely spoke off the cuff. He thought about things, ruminated on them until they were perfectly formed.

It used to drive me crazy once, I never had time for him to think about things. Since the Event, all I had was time. What I had learned the hard way was that if someone has to think about their words, what they usually had to say was worth listening to.

But the suspense was killing me. “Oliver, just say it. Whatever it is going on inside your head, please just say it.”

He took a breath, buying some more time. “About last night-”

I put up my hand to stop him. Hearing the words would be worse than knowing they existed. “Don’t. It’s nothing. It won’t happen again.”

“I’m sorry,” he said,