Clarissa Harlowe by Samuel Richardson (e reader manga .txt) 📕

“Thou, woman, (looking at the mother) once my terror! always my dislike! but now my detestation! shouldst once more (for thine perhaps was the preparation) have provided for me intoxicating potions, to rob me of my senses⁠—

“And then, thus, wretch, (turning to me), mightest thou more securely have depended upon such a low contrivance as this!

“And ye, vile women, who perhaps have been the ruin, body and soul, of hundreds of innocents, (you show me how, in full assembly), know, that I am not married⁠—ruined as I am, by your help, I bless God, I am not married to this miscreant⁠—and I have friends that will demand my honour at your hands!⁠—and to whose authority I will apply; for none has this man over me. Look to it then, what farther insults you offer me, or incite him to offer me. I am a person, though thus vilely betrayed, of rank and fortune. I never will be his; and, to your utter ruin, will find friends to pursue you: and now I have this full proof of your detestable wickedness, and have heard your base incitements, will have no mercy upon you!”

They could not laugh at the poor figure I made.⁠—Lord! how every devil, conscience-shaken, trembled!⁠—

What a dejection must ever fall to the lot of guilt, were it given to innocence always thus to exert itself!

“And as for thee, thou vile Dorcas! Thou double deceiver!⁠—whining out thy pretended love for me!⁠—Begone, wretch!⁠—Nobody will hurt thee!⁠—Begone, I say!⁠—thou has too well acted thy part to be blamed by any here but myself⁠—thou art safe: thy guilt is thy security in such a house as this!⁠—thy shameful, thy poor part, thou hast as well acted as the low farce could give thee to act!⁠—as well as they each of them (thy superiors, though not thy betters), thou seest, can act theirs.⁠—Steal away into darkness! No inquiry after this will be made, whose the first advances, thine or mine.”

And, as I hope to live, the wench, confoundedly frightened, slunk away; so did her sentinel Mabell; though I, endeavouring to rally, cried out for Dorcas to stay⁠—but I believe the devil could not have stopped her, when an angel bid her begone.

Madam, said I, let me tell you; and was advancing towards her with a fierce aspect, most cursedly vexed, and ashamed too⁠—

But she turned to me: “Stop where thou art, O vilest and most abandoned of men!⁠—Stop where thou art!⁠—nor, with that determined face, offer to touch me, if thou wouldst not that I should be a corpse at thy feet!”

To my astonishment, she held forth a penknife in her hand, the point to her own bosom, grasping resolutely the whole handle, so that there was no offering to take it from her.

“I offer not mischief to anybody but myself. You, Sir, and ye women, are safe from every violence of mine. The Law shall be all my resource: the Law,” and she spoke the word with emphasis, the Law! that to such people carries natural terror with it, and now struck a panic into them.

No wonder, since those who will damn themselves to procure ease and plenty in this world, will tremble at everything that seems to threaten their methods of obtaining that ease and plenty.⁠—

“The Law only shall be my refuge!”⁠—

The infamous mother whispered me, that it were better to make terms with this strange lady, and let her go.

Sally, notwithstanding all her impudent bravery at other times, said, If Mr. Lovelace had told them what was not true, of her being his wife⁠—

And Polly Horton, That she must needs say, the lady, if she were not my wife, had been very much injured; that was all.

That is not now a matter to be disputed, cried I: you and I know, Madam⁠—

“We do, said she; and I thank God, I am not thine⁠—once more I thank God for it⁠—I have no doubt of the farther baseness that thou hast intended me, by this vile and low trick: but I have my senses, Lovelace: and from my heart I despise thee, thou very poor Lovelace!⁠—How canst thou stand in my presence!⁠—Thou, that”⁠—

Madam, Madam, Madam⁠—these are insults not to be borne⁠—and was approaching her.

She withdrew to the door, and set her back against it, holding the pointed knife to her heaving bosom; while the women held me, beseeching me not to provoke the violent lady⁠—for their house sake, and be curs’d to them, they besought me⁠—and all three hung upon me⁠—while the truly heroic lady braved me at that distance:

“Approach me, Lovelace, with resentment, if thou wilt. I dare die. It is in defence of my honour. God will be merciful to my poor soul! I expect no more mercy from thee! I have gained this distance, and two steps nearer me, and thou shalt see what I dare do!”⁠—

Leave me, women, to myself, and to my angel!⁠—(They retired at a distance).⁠—O my beloved creature, how you terrify me! Holding out my arms, and kneeling on one knee⁠—not a step, not a step farther, except to receive my death at that injured hand which is thus held up against a life far dearer to me than my own! I am a villain! the blackest of villains!⁠—Say you will sheath your knife in the injurer’s, not the injured’s heart, and then will I indeed approach you, but not else.

The mother twanged her d⁠⸺⁠n’d nose; and Sally and Polly pulled out their handkerchiefs, and turned from us. They never in their lives, they told me afterwards, beheld such a scene⁠—

Innocence so triumphant: villany so debased, they must mean!

Unawares to myself, I had moved onward to my angel⁠—“And dost thou, dost thou, still disclaiming, still advancing⁠—dost thou, dost thou, still insidiously move towards me?”⁠—(And her hand was extended) “I dare⁠—I dare⁠—not rashly neither⁠—my heart from principle abhors the act, which thou makest necessary!⁠—God, in thy mercy! (lifting up her eyes and hands) God, in thy mercy!”

I threw myself to the farther