Pieces of Me by Pua Ramona (small books to read txt) 📕

isn’t at all. Does my being so unaffected by his company mean that I’m completely over us? Over him? If it does then this talk should be easy, right? I make sure to leave some space for Michael to sit down as I pick a spot and settle into it.

“You don’t have to do that Sina” he says quietly. He takes a deep and looks at me with so much regret in his eyes. “I am so sorry.”

I can’t help feeling sad for him, and I believe every single word of his apology. Michael leans forward with his elbows on his knees and runs his hands through his hair. We sit there for a few minutes and I can hear him crying. My heart cracks a little for him and I have to remind myself that he did this to us, he chose to step out on our relationship.

“When I heard you had left without saying anything to me I was so angry with you. I blamed you for everything that went wrong in my life. But as years went by, and I didn’t hear from you a small piece of me wished that something had happened to you, because I was sure that the guilt I was feeling was going to fade away along with you”, he says with his voice laced with guilt. “I hated myself for those fucked up thoughts Sina, and I still do. Why didn’t you just talk to me about it instead of leaving?” he says angrily. I can’t believe what I’m hearing, I want to hit him and scream at him but I can’t do any of that because we were in public. “Why didn’t you call me out on it?” he asks.

“Are you really asking me that right now Michael? Do you really want to have this talk here where everyone can hear us?” I say. He looks around and realizes how close my family are and gets up, grabbing my hand and pulling me toward his car.

I yank my hand out of his and he stops walking to look at me. “Can we please go in my car and talk? So that way no one can hear us? Please?” he asks with a sigh.

“We are going to talk, you’re going to give me my closure, and we move on? Do you understand me Michael?” I say, keeping my voice steady.

“Please Sina.” he says, holding his hand out for me again. I shake my head at him and walk the rest of the way to his car. I get in and watch as he turns the AC on because it’s hot as hell outside. He reaches over to grab something in the glove compartment and I watch him pull out a box before he hands it to me.

“What is this?” I ask.

He closes his eyes and says, “It’s our wedding bands.”

I feel a little sting in my heart and try to stop my tears. “Why do you still have these Michael?”

“I held on to them just in case you came back” he says sounding like a defeated man.

“You should have returned them,” I tell him.

I’m starting to get frustrated and hate that he’s trying to blame me for the shit that he did. Does he really think that I’m going to come back and marry him? Yeah, freaking right. The freaking nerve of some people.

“Sina, why? Can you just answer me this? Why didn’t you tell me that I had a daughter?” he asks.

My heart beats so hard I’m sure he can hear it. I can feel my face warming up with the rage that's burning inside of me. “Do you think it was easy for me to leave here especially when I just found out I was having our baby? Do you know how broken I was when I walked into our room and you had another woman in our bed? Not just another woman, but my best fucking friend Michael.”

I’m trying my best to keep my tears in check, but I’m crying and shaking with anger at the memory of it all. Michael can’t even look at me and I know it’s because he knows he fucked up, not me. “What did I do wrong? Was I not enough for you Michael?” I ask him.

“It wasn’t you Sina, it was me” he says with tears running down his cheeks. Ha! Was he really using this line on me after eight damn years? No fucking way, he’s going to have to do better than that.

“No Michael, you don’t get to take the easy fucking way out. You look me in my face and tell me what I did wrong, because we were doing so good that year, then all of a sudden you started shutting me out. So for once in your adult life tell me the truth” I cry. He sits there shaking his head no with a look that only told me that it was more than what it was. I didn’t want to know, but I had to find out for myself “Was I that bad at sex Michael? Is that it? Was I boring, not sexy enough? Which one is it?” I yell. “When did you and Becca start having sex? Huh? How long did you wait? Was it right after our first time together, or a little while after?” I’m hysterically crying and angry as fuck with him. “When Michael? You owe me the truth. You wanted to talk, let’s fucking talk” I snap again.

“Please” he begs as he tries to hold my hands.

I pull them away from him and repeat myself, “When?”

He leans his head in his hands and says “My first time was with Becca.”

All the air leaves my lungs and I feel my soul die a little. Every piece of me aches, all I want to do is cry. Now I know what Daddy meant when he said When a man makes a woman cry for all the wrong reasons, he doesn’t