Pieces of Me by Pua Ramona (small books to read txt) 📕

her, even when she left for college. When he found out she left without saying anything, he hoped that she hadn’t found out about us, but I knew that she knew” she says.

I looked at her and ask, “How?”

Becca looks at me with so much regret in her eyes and cries, “‘Because she sent me a letter saying that she forgave me for betraying her. I know now that when she left she was pregnant, and I will never forgive myself for putting her through so much bullshit out of my own insecurities and jealousy”

I’m not sure if she’s waiting for me to pity her as she looks at me with a contrite expression on her face, but she isn’t going to get that shit from me. I have my own shit to figure out and deal with. “Eli, I don’t expect you to want to be with me, but I just need you to be here for me if I am pregnant. I’m not ready to be a mother, and I know I’m not fit to be a good one for a baby. I’ll make a doctor’s appointment to be sure, but I am willing to sign over all my parental rights.” She cries and wrings her hands together in her lap.

I’m shocked to be honest. I really thought she was going to use this baby to keep me.I look at her and ask, “Why are you doing this Becca?”

“Because I know you’ll be a great father and he or she deserves a parent that has their shit together. Eli, we both know that I am not fit for that. I am a selfish person.”

And just like that everything bad between us doesn't exist anymore and I respect Becca for being honest with me. This is the side of Becca that I wish other people could see. I walk over to where she’s sitting and pull her close enough that I comfort her. I’m sad for her, but I know she meant everything she just said. So I hold her and love her, not because I’m in love with her, but because I have a gut feeling that she is pregnant, and that she is the mother of my unborn child. Even after all the shit she’s done, Becca was a friend before everything got fucking messy. “Thank you Eli, for not judging me. And I am sorry for everything that I put Sina through,” she cries against me.

I kiss the top of her head and say, “Maybe you should tell her that, Becca.”

“But I’m scared that she might not forgive me this time,” she says, “I was a bitch at The Hut because everyone was there for her and I was jealous, again.”

I hug her tighter and say, “We both know that she’s probably the most honest and genuine person, and I’m sure she’s already forgiven you for being an asshole.”

Becca’s quiet for a second and says “I miss her so much,” and I believe her because once you have someone like Sina in your life, it’s hard to just let her go and I know that it’s Becca’s time to grow as a person, and that she wants Sina back in her life badly. We sit here until Becca’s ready to leave.

Becca: I took three home pregnancy tests when I got home last night…. I’m pregnant! I made an appointment so I’ll be able to see a doctor on Monday at 12 noon. If you can’t make it, I won’t be upset I’ll just text you when I’m done.

Me: I’ll be there just let me know which clinic. 

Becca: Okay.

Me: Thank you, Becca.

Becca: No. Thank you, Eli. See you tomorrow.

I sit in my truck and I fucking cry. I’m going to be a father to a baby who isn’t Sina’s and it kills me, but I can’t hate Becca for being the one to carry my baby. It isn’t her fault. I don’t know how long I sit here for, but someone knocks on my window and I look up to see Mama standing next to the door of my truck.

She opens my door and says, “Come on Baby. Let’s go inside.” She holds my hand until we make it inside and asks “Am I going to be a grandma?” I’m not surprised that she knows, Reese is like a brother to me and he treats Mama like she’s his own. He would have called her last night and told her what had happened with Becca.

I can’t look at her so I keep my head down and say, “Yes ma’am.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Becca has an appointment on Monday and I told her I’d meet her there” I say.

I see tears in Mama’s eyes as she says,“Congratulations son.” She pulls me in so she can hug me and all I can think about is that Sina will be flying back to New York the day of this appointment and she’ll be out of my life completely.

“Are we still going to the Petersons?” she asks.

I want to say no, but I know I have to talk to Sina so I say “Yeah. She invited us and I don’t want to cancel on her last minute.”

Mama looks at me and says, “You’re a good man son, you just have to believe that now.” I’m not sure what to say so I just stand there feeling stuck. I know I fucked up somewhere in a past life because reality is kicking my ass and making me pay for all my bullshit. As fucked up this whole situation is, I am happy that I’m going to be a father and that’s enough to hold me together for now.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Sina

“I can’t wait to hear what Auntie Lupe has to say about us being late” Megan says. Of course we were already an hour late to the park. This is what I get for listening to my sister, it never fails you’d think I would know