Pieces of Me by Pua Ramona (small books to read txt) 📕

and lean on my truck for support, closing my eyes and breathing deeply. I hear Becca crying and feel sad for her as well because we both didn’t have plans to have kids together and she knows that I didn’t want to be with her. A baby won’t change that. She wraps her arms around her stomach and says “I don’t know what to do Eli. I know you don’t want me like that, but I might be pregnant and I’m fucking scared.”

I pull her toward me hugging her as she cries because I'm not a completely heartless jerk. All I can think about is how Sina will never want a life with me now, and she’ll probably cut herself out of my life if Becca is having my baby. What the fuck have I done? There’s pretty much no coming back from just how fucked I am this time. But right now, I have to put Becca first and if she is carrying my baby I’ll make sure that I do right by her, even if that means hurting Sina. We both stand there in the driveway for a little while and neither of us realize that we have company until I someone clears their throat. I feel Becca hug me tighter and I look to see who’s arrived and I feel my heart drop to the pit of my stomach.

“We came by to see if you wanted to have breakfast with us, but we see that you’re busy” Reese says with no emotion on his face. I look over his shoulder and see Lei and Sina walking back to the car. I started to panic, I don’t want her to think that I’m back with Becca, and even though it shouldn’t matter because we're doing the friends thing, I still feel like I’ve been caught cheating on her. I glance fromReese and to Becca.

“Here, go wait for me inside,” I say to Becca as I offer her my keys. She looks over Reese’s shoulder and I know she sees Sina and Lei. She looks at me with tears in her eyes as grabs the keys and heads inside the house. I turn to talk to Reese but he’s already walking back to the car “Reese wait!” I yell after him.

“What, Eli? What can you possibly say to me now?” he snaps.

“Look it’s not what it looks like, man” I say holding my hands either side of my head.

He looks at me and says “You know what? I don’t even fucking want to know anymore. Just go back inside to Becca, that's who you belong with. I’m done with your bullshit.”

I want to be pissed off at Reese for the shit he’s saying, but I can’t even blame him for reacting this way. This is all on me. “Reese, wait” I say again, but he keeps walking to the car, ignoring me. I don’t want any of them to leave thinking that I don’t give a shit about Sina. I definitely don’t want them to think that I’m back with Becca. I get to the car and go straight to Sina’s side. I open her door and beg, “I need to talk to you, please.” It kills me that I’m going to hurt her again.

“Sina, you don’t have to talk to him if you don’t want to,” Reese says with so much anger behind his words. I’m ready to punch him in the fucking mouth, but I know he’s just trying to keep her from getting hurt again.

She isn’t looking at me, so I grab her hand and say, “Please, let me explain.” I was officially the biggest asshole, and if she says no I won’t blame her at all.

She turns to Lei and says, “I’ll be right back.” I know Reese is pissed off and I feel like shit because I know Lei is hurting for Sina. She steps out of the car and I grab her hand, but she pulls it away before I have the chance to hold it. I know she’s shutting me out already and I hate it. She follows me to the side of the garage and before I say anything she says, “Eli, you don’t have to explain yourself to me or anyone.”

I hate myself for doing what I promised her father I would never do again. I look at her and everything starts to hurt, shit breathing seems harder than usual. I’m not sure how to tell her so I just blurt out,“Becca might be pregnant.” I can’t even look at her right now. I’m so ashamed and angry with myself. I feel my heart beating through my chest.

I hear her choking on her cries as she says, “Take care of yourself Eli” as she starts walking away.

I grab her hand “Sina, please, don't leave.” I don’t expect her to be okay with it, but I also don’t want her to leave hating me.

She stops and turns to look at me “I can’t do this anymore. I want you to be happy, and if Becca makes you happy then I’m happy for you.”

I can’t find my words so I stand there with her hands in mine and say, “I’m so fucking sorry Sina.”

She smiles through her tears and says “Don’t be. Just live a happy life Eli.” She pulls her hands out of mine and walks out of my life, this time for good. I watch as she gets in the car and looks over her shoulder before giving me one last smile that belongs just to me. And that small act is enough confirmation that I don’t deserve her at all.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Sina

I wasn’t sure if he was going to show up today. I wanted to tell him that he didn’t have to come, but I also didn’t want him to think that I was being bitter. I’m hurt, of course, but that doesn’t mean I have to stop living. I didn’t allow myself