Pieces of Me by Pua Ramona (small books to read txt) 📕

replaying in my head. I remember when he would tell me that if I looked up at the moon I would see the man who lived on it. I would laugh and tell him that he was silly and that I didn’t see him because he wasn’t real. Daddy would look at me with a peaceful smile and would repeat himself “Sina, look again and this time make sure to look with your heart.”

I remember opening my eyes to look at the moon again, and how my heart skipped a beat, because I could see the man on the moon “Daddy, I see him!”

He would laugh and say, “Wherever you go or when you feel lost in this world, I want you to remember that the man in the moon will always be there to help you find your way. And when you’re feeling alone he’ll be there to listen to you, even if words aren’t spoken.”

My heart feels so heavy and all I want is my Dad. I close my eyes and feel tears on my cheeks. I look at the letter in my hands, taking a deep breath before I rip the envelope open. I pull the letter out and see a couple of photos of us. One when I was a baby, and the other one with us on my eighteenth birthday. I hold the photos to my chest and cry, “Daddy, I miss you so much it hurts.” I sit there and wait for my breathing to even out.  I take another deep breath and start reading Daddy’s letter.

Masina,

Well, I have been sitting here staring at this piece of paper all day not sure where or how to write this letter. But I do want you to know how sorry I am for putting you, your mother, brothers, and sister through so much stress and heartache. God knows how bad I tried fighting through this illness, and if you are reading this right now, then I’ll know it was my time to go. Sina, there is so much I want to say, but I promised myself that I would make this a short letter.

Before I go any further I want you to promise me that no matter what happens you will continue to be the light for everyone. If you’re sitting there with a confused look on your face, then that tells me that I probably just stressed you out some more. You must be thinking that I’m crazy for giving you such a big responsibility instead of your brothers right? Right. The thing is I already talked to them, and they all know what their roles are now that I can’t be here with you guys. I want you to know that your mother is probably not doing well, but she’s going to act like everything is okay, which only means that she’s dealing with her own heartache on her own. So please, look after her even if she tells you she’s okay. There’s a box that’s in the hallway closet by our room, I want you to give that to your mom. I should’ve given it to her when I had the chance. When you give it to her, please hug her for me and tell her that I’ll always love her. That she has been the beat to my heart. Love her hard for me Sina, she deserves it.

Take care of your sister as well. I know she likes to do her own thing, but I know she’s hurting. Let her know that I heard her when she told me that she was in love, and that she was going to marry that Collins boy someday. Tell Megan that they have my blessings if they should ever decide to get married, and that I wish her nothing but a love like your mother and I share, everlasting love. I’ll trust that she’ll finish school and become a nurse that she used to tell me she was going to be when she was just a tiny pea. She said she was going to be like your grandmother, and if she’s anything like her then those doctors she works for will be lucky to have her. Braid her hair for me once in a while, it makes her feel safe. Let her know that I am proud of her. 

Please be good to your brothers. They are the ones who will be standing in my place to make sure that you’re okay and will be the ones to love you for me. I know that Luka and Daniel will be just fine, just make sure they continue to be the good men that we raised them to be. Let them know that you love them every day. As for your brother Micah, I want you to know that he will be okay. I just ask you to please watch over him even if he tells you that he doesn’t need it. I know you both have always been close so I trust that you’ll do right by him. Just know that every time you fuss over him he gets a good laugh out of it, even when he acts like it bothers him. Let him know that things will be okay. Now that I’ve gotten everyone covered I can now get to the most important part of this letter. 

Do you remember that day when you came home from school crying because you were worried that something was going on with Michael, and you weren’t sure what it was? Well, I want you to know that I heard every single word you spoke. I have never liked you with him, but I knew you were happy so I just never said anything. Yes, he’s always treated you good but I always felt that he was not the one for you. I knew I had to let you go through the whole experience on your own, and plus your mother warned me to keep my comments to myself