Pieces of Me by Pua Ramona (small books to read txt) 📕

chance and that’s it. You’re going to come over, hangout with the family, then you leave. Sina leaves for New York Monday, so just leave her be. Let her live her life and you live yours.” He gets up and starts walking to his car but before he gets in he says “By the way, I thought you’d like to know that Marino will be there and I’m sure he’ll be spending time with Sina, so leave whatever bullshit you got at your place before you come over. All I ask is that you let my sister find her happiness because it isn’t with you E.” He gets in his car and drives off. My head spins and my chest hurts, but I have nobody to blame but myself.

I’m not sure how long I sit there for before I feel someone nudge my arm. I move my hands away from my face and realize that it’s Lei. I am hurting, so I sat here looking at her and I know she understands where my thoughts are at because she wraps her arms around me and just sits alongside holding me closer. We sit huddled together quietly until she breaks the silence asking, “Do you miss her?” I know we aren't talking about Sina and I feel a pinch in my chest.

“I miss her when I’m in my head, or when I’m alone. But I hate her for leaving me Lei, why couldn’t she fucking talk to me? I was supposed to fucking protect her and I couldn’t even do that” I feel myself getting angry. “She was supposed to fucking love me.”

My eyes burn and I know it’s pointless trying to fight the pain so I allow it to wash over me. The last time I cried was when my Dad passed away. I never once cried for her, I made sure I was numb because I didn’t want to feel a fucking thing.

We met and dated during college, she was supposed to be my other half, she promised to be my wife, the mother to my children. We were supposed to grow old together, but she fucking lied and was too weak when real life happened. She got pregnant. I was scared when she told me, but I was happy that we were going to have a baby. I knew we were still young and in college, but plans changed so I was going to make sure she had everything, and that she was taken care of. She was scared shitless, but the more we talked about it she started getting excited about our baby. Everything was good until I got to our apartment after working a double. Walking into our bedroom, I wasn’t sure if she was sleeping, but the closer I got to her I knew there was something wrong. She wasn’t breathing.

I couldn’t get myself to move or do anything, I was fucking numb, frozen watching her laid out on the bed. I knew when I touched her that she was gone. I don’t remember calling the cops, but when they showed up I was too lost to even understand what was going on. I remembered one of the officers handing me a note and confirming that she’d overdosed on pills that she more than likely got off the fucking streets. I didn’t want to read the note they’d found in her hand, but I had to know what she’d written.

Elijah,

I couldn’t do it. Please forgive me. 

Chrissy. 

She was selfish, she didn’t even say she was sorry in the fucking note and I hated her for it. I found out a couple of days later after that she had an abortion the same day she killed herself. Because of her, I decided that I wasn’t going to be committed to anyone and that I would never allow anyone else a piece of my heart. I fucking hated her for being a weak coward. I would have made it work. We could have had our future, but she stole that from both of us. I’m so angry and lost in my thoughts that I don’t realize Reese is now sitting with us until he pats my shoulder firmly sayin, “Eli! Come on man, breathe bro.”

I look at him and choke out through sobs, “I fucking hate her! I hate her so fucking much that I can’t forgive her Reese.”

“I know man and I’m sorry that you’re going through this.” His hand is still on my shoulder, giving me the support I need without overwhelming me.

I need to be alone so I get up and say “I’m going to head out. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

I start walking back to my truck but stop as I feel little hands wrap around my waist. “I love you Eli” Lei says as she lets me go. I get in my truck and I drive, not ready to head home yet, so head toward the lake with my fucked up head and my heavy heart.

Chapter Twenty-One

Sina

It doesn’t take me long to get to the lake. I make sure I park by the rock that Daddy and I used to sit on when we used to come out here to watch the sunrise or for a picnic. I sit there for a few minutes and feel sadness in my heart. My eyes start tearing up so I take a deep breath and grab everything that I need before I step out of the car. I make my way to the rock and lay the blanket out to make sure I’ll be comfortable before I sit down. The breeze touches my skin and I’m glad that I grabbed an extra jacket and a hot chocolate on my way out of the house. The water is so calm and clear that you could see the moon's reflection. I sit there and smile a little because all the stories Daddy used to tell me about the moon start