Blood Loss by Kerena Swan (good beach reads .txt) 📕

on the table now.’ Mum pulls out a chair and sits down with a thud. All colour has drained from her face, leaving only the sickly jaundice of her illness.

I struggle into a sitting position, trying to fight off the dizziness and nausea. Mum picks up her phone.

‘Stay there,’ she says. ‘I’m going to call Lucy. You need someone to go with you to the hospital and I’m not strong enough.’

In a flare of clarity my memory replays the scene where Lucy unpacks the pâté and other goodies. ‘They’re vegan,’ she says. She didn’t buy them for Mum. She bought them for me. ‘No! Not Lucy,’ I say with as much force as I can muster. My outburst stills Mum’s hand and she frowns at me.

‘What is it?’

I can’t tell her. I can’t allow her last few weeks of life to be overshadowed by the terrible realization that one of her daughters wants the other one dead.

‘Lucy’s at the dentist,’ I improvise quickly. ‘She’s having root canal treatment. She didn’t tell you because you’d worry. Call Grace. She’ll come with me.’

I’ll feel much safer with Grace to look after me, and I might confide in her about Lucy. She’ll know what to do.

Chapter 53

The Previous April | Grace

I stand over Mark’s armchair and wait as he leans forward to grab the remote and turn the television down.

‘I’ve been thinking,’ I say. ‘I’ve spent my whole life having fingers pointed at me for being the girl with a drunk for a mother and a thug for a father. A thug who became a murderer. I want to put all that behind me, especially as I now know I’m not actually John Butcher’s daughter. So I’ve decided to change my name.’

‘Butcher?’

‘Sarah too. I want a completely fresh start.’

‘What do you want to be called?’

‘I like the name Grace,’ I tell him. ‘Grace Cavendish.’

He nods. ‘Nice. It suits you.’

‘Let’s pretend we’ve only just met and never knew each other at school – not that I ever noticed you.’ I grin at him.

‘That’s because you always had your head in a book. You never noticed anyone.’ He takes my hand and pulls me towards him. ‘Come and sit with me. We can watch a film together.’

‘I don’t have a day off work like you. Nikos is expecting me at the kebab shop.’

‘You could leave that job. I’d support you while you look for something better. The pay’s terrible anyway.’

I lean forward to kiss his warm lips. ‘That’s very sweet of you, but I wouldn’t want to impose. It’s enough that you’re letting me stay here rent-free.’

‘I love having you here. Stay as long as you like.’

‘Thanks, Mark. Now the Housing Association has said they’re taking Mum’s house back I could be here for a while.’ My spirits sink at the thought of clearing out the house. There’s so much shit in it. I’ll donate the furniture to charity – if they’ll even want it – and I’ll have to make numerous trips to the dump. At least Mark has given me a decent-sized room of my own so I can bring my few possessions here.

I don’t go to the kebab shop as I’m not really working there today. Instead, I collect Rex, who circles in excitement when he sees me, and drive to Bow Brickhill again. I amble up and down Station Road, glancing across to the entrance of The Old Hay Barn, hoping for a car to drive in or out. I’m desperate for a glimpse of my real family but I still don’t have the courage to knock on the door. I need to find another way to get in there, to be included in their lives, if only in a small way to start with.

I’ve walked up and down this street so many times this week and am about to give up my surveillance as I don’t want to arouse suspicion, when a van turns into the drive. Not just any old van but one with writing all over it. I almost laugh out loud. Scene of the Grime, Cleaning Services.

I pull my phone from my pocket and connect to the internet. I love this phone and I love Mark for buying it for me. Yay! Here they are –a local domestic cleaning company operating in Milton Keynes and the surrounding area. Rex tugs at his lead and whines.

‘Give me a minute, Rex. This is important.’ I tap my screen and bring up a job vacancy page then screenshot it. These sorts of companies are always looking for staff. I’ll apply for a job with them and I’m sure they’ll snatch my hand off when I tell them about my knowledge and experience of thorough cleaning. I wait another few minutes to make sure the van doesn’t come straight out again, then return to my car.

I drop Rex back at Derek’s house and politely decline a cup of tea, saying I need to get to the kebab shop, then I drive over to the internet café to complete a simple online application form. On impulse I call the company when I’m back in my car.

‘I’ve just sent you an application form and I wondered what area you need workers for as I see you cover all of Milton Keynes. Would I have to travel around or would I be allocated a few regular customers?’

‘We’re delighted you’ve applied,’ a smooth female voice says. ‘We try to give each worker a small portfolio of customers so they can build up an understanding of their wishes and needs. People prefer consistency in their lives.’

‘Sounds good,’ I say.

‘We need people in the Stony Stratford and Linford Wood areas at present.’

‘I was hoping for South Milton Keynes – Bow Brickhill, Little Brickhill and Woburn Sands sort of area. Do you cover those?’

‘We do, but we recruited someone to that area a week ago. We can look at the situation when we’ve interviewed you, if you’re successful.’

Bloody hell. I’m a week too late. I’ll