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this very room. Intimate, important, private conversations that she’d been excluded from – had excluded herself from.

Lisa shifted her position, but kept her thoughts to herself.

Megan tried again to get some answers, or at least an explanation, from the only person who seemed to have been privy to Jonathan’s thoughts. ‘What I don’t understand is why he made it so complicated?’

Lisa folded her hands in her lap. She chose her words carefully. ‘Jonathan carried a lot of guilt with him, especially in terms of his relationship with you. He believed he’d been selfish. Which, I suppose, he had – knowing what he knew when he met you.’

Megan felt Lisa’s eyes on her. She held up her hand, warding off Lisa’s meaning. She knew what Lisa was referring to; had for the past two years.

Jonathan had known he was ill when they met.

Whether he knew it was MND, whether he was aware that his condition was life-limiting, Megan wasn’t sure, but she was sure he’d known enough to have made different decisions. He could have chosen a different path, one that led away, not towards, her.

Seeing her reaction, Lisa had the good sense not to pursue it, but she wasn’t done defending him. ‘He was determined to try and make things right by you. He may not have gone about it the way you or I would have done, but his motivation was to make amends. I’m sure of it.’ She obviously sensed that Megan was not convinced, because she went on, ‘You know how little time he had for superstition, or religion, but he told me that when he saw your house had come back on the market, he just knew he had buy it. It was the only time I ever heard him talk about Fate.’

‘And so a year and a half ago he bought me my old house, thinking it was the ticket for me to go back in time and simply pick up where I’d left off!’ Megan heard the hurt in her own voice.

Her anger seemed to glance off Lisa. ‘No. At the time I don’t think he thought any further than wanting the house to be there for you… after he’d gone. Signed, sealed, delivered. A decision taken out of the hands of his executors.’ Lisa didn’t say ‘children’, because they weren’t. ‘But when his symptoms worsened, he obviously started seeing it as a potential route out for you.’

Jesus, was there nothing she hadn’t known?

‘When you refused to discuss leaving, he gave me the keys and the deeds and the letter, and made me promise to give them to you after his death.’

Megan felt a fresh burst of anger at Jonathan. ‘But it was an escape route I couldn’t possibly have taken, even if I’d let him tell me about it.’

‘Yes. That was the flaw in his plan.’

‘I couldn’t leave him.’

‘I know.’

‘I hated it when he talked about dying.’

‘I know.’

‘That’s why I wouldn’t listen. It felt too much like giving up.’

‘I do understand.’ Lisa spoke softly, gently, but that only served to provoke Megan.

Her anger stirred and stretched its cramped limbs. ‘You knew all this, you saw me struggling to communicate with him, to understand what he was thinking, and feeling. You knew about it all, but you didn’t say anything!’

Lisa’s gaze remained steady. ‘Jonathan was my patient. He placed his trust in me. I had to respect that trust. It was one of the very few things I could offer him at the end.’

There had been so many closed doors, so many conversations that had ended when Megan entered the room. She should have challenged them both. But she hadn’t. Lisa looked at her, kindly but unflinchingly.

Lisa went on. ‘And besides, I thought you’d made your choice… to get through it by living each day at a time, not thinking about the future. I felt I should respect that as well. I tried my best to respect you both.’

Was she speaking the truth? Was Lisa just a well-intentioned, professional carer who had made Jonathan’s last few months bearable, or had she been his confidante – someone who had listened, advised and influenced? The answer was… she had been both.

They were silent for a while.

There was another loud smatter of shouting from across the hall. Unfinished business.

Lisa glanced at the door and the argument beyond, then back at Megan. ‘What do you want to deal with first? This…’ she indicated the half-cleared room, ‘or them?’

Megan didn’t need to give it much thought. ‘Them.’

Lisa stood up. ‘Are you sure you don’t want me to help finish up in here?’

Megan shook her head.

Lisa had done enough.

Chapter 45

MEGAN WALKED into the dining-room without knocking.

Liv and Noah were facing each other across the table, swaying like punch-drunk boxers. Chloe sat silently by, ringside, her face drawn, tears in her eyes. Eloise was poised at the end of the table like a dress shop mannequin. At the sight of all four of them, Megan felt a powerful mix of anger and pity. Their inability to take a step back and, in doing so, see each other was so depressing. Someone had to put an end to it.

‘For God’s sake, stop it!’

Liv and Noah seemed to emerge from the blurry depths of their anger slowly. They looked at her for a few seconds as if they didn’t recognise her. Liv was the first to recover. ‘Megan. Sorry. Did we disturb you?’

They hadn’t a clue! Noah rocked forward. He was a very odd colour, like putty.

‘Sit down.’ They both hesitated, unused to being told what to do, especially by her. ‘I said, “Sit down”.’ Possibly more out of shock than compliance, they did.

Megan pulled up a chair – finally taking her seat at the table. Chloe wiped her face on the sleeve of her jumper. Megan noticed that it came away covered in mascara and make-up. One last check on Noah. He was still a dreadful colour, but the anger in his eyes had dimmed. Liv sat bolt upright, two

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