Blood Loss by Kerena Swan (good beach reads .txt) 📕

how she’ll be with me when she finds out I’m her real sister. I can’t imagine her pulling me into an exuberant embrace or showing me affection. She doesn’t show Jenna any, and she thinks she’s her sister.

I look in the bedroom mirror and twist my hair into a knot on the back of my neck. Mark bends to kiss the exposed skin and I shiver with pleasure. I lean against him as he wraps his arms around me from behind. If I were a cat, I’d be purring.

‘I prefer you with blonde hair,’ Mark says. ‘I know you want a fresh start but do you have to dye it? Anyone would think you have something to hide.’ He laughs softly and I join in.

If only you knew. It’s been over seven months since Robert died and almost six months since Rosemary choked to death. I’m sure the police would have arrested me by now if they had any suspicions about me. Mum’s death was recorded as accidental, and even if the police track me to Milton Keynes they’d struggle to find me as there’s no trace left of Trina Hodges or Sarah Butcher. Rosemary’s house has been cleared and a new family lives there now. I’ve moved on too, and Mark and I are in a loving relationship.

‘I’m doing this for me,’ I tell him. ‘I don’t want to be anything like Sarah Butcher. I’m not Sarah Butcher. I’m Grace now, so let’s not mention Sarah’s name again.’

‘Do you have a passport in the name of Grace?’

I stare at Mark. ‘Er… no, I don’t. Why?’ I could ask Derek to get me one although I haven’t been in contact with him for months. Is Mark offering to take me on holiday?

‘I’ve been getting up the courage to tell you. I’ve been offered a two-year secondment to France. My company are setting up a branch over there. If I accept, will you come with me?’

My mind races through the implications. If I go to France it will be even harder for the police to find me. It would be a completely fresh start. But I need to be here with my mother, Fiona. She’s got very little time left and I want to spend every moment I can with her. I need to tell her who I am. I yearn for her to put her arms around me and kiss my forehead like she does Jenna’s.

‘When will you go? What about this house?’

‘I’ll go in around four weeks. If you come too, I’ll rent this place out. If you choose to stay, I’ll need you to cover the mortgage and bills as I’ll be renting over there and can’t afford to run two properties.’

I feel a rush of nausea. He’s abandoning me. He’s rejecting me like everyone else.

‘I can’t leave now. Fiona needs me.’

‘I’m sure you can find another care or cleaning job in France.’

‘I don’t speak French and I’m not just a cleaner. I’m training to be a Doulah.’ And you’ve just ignored me when I say Fiona needs me, as though anything I do for her doesn’t really matter.

‘You’ll soon pick up the language and your course is done online so you can finish it there. I can pay for everything until you get an income.’

‘I want to be independent.’ What if our relationship sours? I’ll have nothing. ‘I’ll think about it,’ I say.

What I really need is a share of what’s rightfully mine. Then I can be self-sufficient.

And I need to get rid of Jenna.

Chapter 58

The Previous May | DI Paton

Paton felt exhausted but he was determined to use every waking minute in trying to find Trina. After a rushed evening meal in the hotel, he sat at the desk in his room and logged on to HOLMES. He updated it, then checked his phone again. Disappointingly, there was no report from Tony and no text or missed call.

‘I was about to call you,’ Tony said when Paton rang him instead. ‘I’ve studied the images of the Fiesta on all available data and can’t see any damage to the wing. I’ve also checked the number plate and the vehicle has had the same owner for five years. The address matches the location where you discovered it.’

As Paton ended the call frustration draped itself like a wet overcoat around his shoulders but he shrugged it off again impatiently. Yes, he’d been pushed a step backwards in the investigation, but he’d just have to find a way to step forward again. He looked up Netherfield on Google Maps – the other place the ANPR cameras had recorded her. It was another sizeable estate, but this time he’d knock on doors and visit the local shops. At least it was laid out in a neat grid, unlike the higgledy-piggledy Lakes Estate. He’d make a list of the road names then cross them out as he visited them. He wished he had a couple of DCs to help but the police chiefs in his home area and Milton Keynes wouldn’t risk wasting money on what he had to admit was a long shot. The thing was that long shots sometimes paid off.

After a fractured night’s sleep Paton was first in the hotel restaurant for breakfast and on the road by seven, hoping to catch people at home before they left for work. He parked at one end of The Hide and began knocking on doors and showing the occupants the E-Fit of Trina. Most people were curious or bemused, some were dismissive and a minority were downright rude, but they all denied any knowledge of her. By mid-morning Paton’s feet were aching and his knuckles were sore from knocking.

A row of shops sat in the middle of the estate and Paton decided to try there next. He headed straight for the checkout of a mini-market and showed his ID card then the portrait.

A thin woman, whose black hair and grey roots resembled a badger’s, peered at it and didn’t let