Blood Loss by Kerena Swan (good beach reads .txt) 📕

you at school when those bullies were picking on you, lent you money when you’d spent your bus fare, picked you up when you’d drunk too much or been on a disastrous date…’

All true. Lucy has been magnificent at times.

‘We’ve never been the sort of sisters who are joined at the hip – we’re different sorts of people and the age difference hasn’t helped – but we haven’t always been at each other’s throats to this extent. What’s changed, Jenna?’

I bite my lip and don’t know what to say.

‘Come and sit in the barn. We need to sort this out.’

Lucy leads the way to a hay bale and sits on it, and after a moment of hesitation I follow. I don’t know what to believe about the peanuts, but she’s right about our relationship having worsened recently and maybe we should talk about it.

I sit, but as far from her as the hay bale allows. Sunshine slants through gaps in the wooden walls and dust tickles my nose. I hear Merlin’s hooves shifting bedding around in the stable next door. I’m willing to talk but I’m not going to be a pushover. There’s right on my side with at least one thing that’s happened. I take the initiative.

‘First of all, I want you to accept that I didn’t kiss Ellis. He kissed me and it was disgusting. You believed him over me which really hurt.’

Lucy looks at the floor. ‘I know. He confessed eventually – said he’d had too much to drink and it would never happen again.’

I jump up to face her. ‘Too bloody right it won’t. Why didn’t you tell me this before?’

‘I was too ashamed. Weak of me, I know, and I’m sorry I hit you. I feel really bad about it.’ She looks at the floor and twists her engagement ring around and around on her finger.

Wow. I didn’t expect her to admit guilt so easily or even at all. I’m wary still, but doubts are making my anger even weaker.

Lucy looks up at me. ‘I know I’m asking a lot, but do you think we could put that stupid kiss behind us now? I do want to make it up to you, though. And I want to make things up to Mum too. I know I’m supposed to be the strong, sensible one but the truth is that I haven’t coped well with all that’s happened – losing Dad and now mum’s illness. I can’t lose you as well.’ Her face crumples and her shoulders slump forward.

I don’t know what to do. To think. To feel… Lucy never cries. Hell. I drop the riding crop to the floor then sit next to her and wrap my arms around her. She leans into me and holds me as tight as a drunken uncle at a wedding, her tears wet on my neck. My conviction that Lucy is trying to hurt me falls away. There must be other explanations for the awful things that have happened. We cling to each other and my heart swells with affection. I’ve waited a long time for this.

‘I know I’ve been cold and distant but I was afraid of losing control.’ Her voice is distorted with crying but I manage to work out what she’s saying.

We eventually pull apart and Lucy wipes under her eyes with her fingertips.

‘Have I got panda eyes?’ She gives a small embarrassed laugh.

‘You have a bit. Wait.’ I pull a tissue from my pocket and lick it then wipe the mascara smudges from her face. I expect her to rear back in disgust but she thanks me.

‘I really do want to make it up to you,’ she says. ‘What horrible tasks have you got that need doing?’

‘You can take my car to Pikesleys for the MOT and new tyres if you like.’ I laugh. ‘I hate that job.’

‘Okay. When is it booked in? I’ll pay for the tyres as well. You’ve given up work to care for Mum so it’s the least I can do.’

‘Seriously?’ I’m flabbergasted.

‘Seriously.’

‘It’s due in a couple of weeks and the tyres are almost illegal.’ I’ve been worrying about paying for the tyres.

We link arms as we cross the yard then Lucy gives me a quick hug before she climbs into her car and drives away with a promise to come back and sort my car out. I enter the house in a daze, not quite believing what has happened. I feel weightless, as though I’m floating an inch above the ground.

I run upstairs to Mum’s bedroom to tell her Lucy and I have forgiven each other and am taken aback to see Grace sitting on the bed beside her with the Scrabble board between them. She looks up, and for a fleeting second it’s as though she’s scowling at me and I’m intruding on something, but then her face changes to a smile and I wonder if I imagined it.

‘You can take over my game,’ she says, edging her way off the bed. ‘I was just playing until you came in.’

‘Grace is very good,’ Mum says. ‘She’s way ahead of me.’

I look at the board and am surprised to see words I’ve never heard of. The scorecard is impressive too. Wow. I didn’t realise Grace was so clever.

Chapter 61

Early October | Grace

I dash down the stairs like a four year old when I hear the doorbell. Is this it? I see the postman’s outline reflected in the hall mirror and my heart beats faster.

‘Grace Winterbourne?’ he asks.

‘Yes.’ I can’t contain my grin. It’s the first time anyone has ever called me that.

‘Sign here, please.’

It feels strange signing my new name, and I wish I’d practiced it more. I hope it looks the same as the one on my passport application.

He hands me a thick envelope then nods and walks away.

‘Thanks!’ I call after him.

My hands tremble as I open the envelope and pull out my new passport. I hold it reverently and kiss the cover. At last, I can be