The Crush by Ward Penelope (best book recommendations txt) 📕

treated you, Nathan. I turned a blind eye to it for a long time. I’m sorry I did that. Ultimately, he never truly made me happy either.”

“I’m sorry, sis. I mean that.”

Jace smacked Nathan on the back. “Listen, I’m gonna leave you two be. I’ve caused enough trouble for one night.”

“Good trouble, though, brother. Good trouble.” Nathan beamed.

“Dad has been eagerly awaiting my return anyway. Pretty sure he’s been living on Pop Tarts and pancakes the entire time I’ve been gone.”

He gave me a warm smile, and then he was out the door.

I went to bed feeling like a weight had been lifted. Only now I was anxious about what tomorrow would bring.

Chapter 24

Jace

If I was going to earn Farrah’s trust again, I had to start from the ground up. Three years ago, sex had first fueled our relationship. I had no doubt that intense attraction was still there, but it couldn’t solve this. If I wanted to earn her trust, I’d have to open up about difficult things just as much as I’d wanted her to do the same. With each year that passed, holding everything in had become more toxic for me. So I’d recently started seeing a therapist for the first time in my life. It was too early to tell, but I hoped it would help.

Farrah had been busy with school as the semester came to an end. I spent the majority of my time working on the transition to my new role heading up Muldoon Construction under my dad’s tutelage. I’d planned not to see Farrah until Christmas, although every night I’d been tempted to text her the song “No One’s Gonna Love You” by Band of Horses. I wished she understood that no one would ever love her as much as I would. Yeah, I’m doing a great job of handling this “let’s just be friends” thing. Still, I vowed to give her space, keeping all of that shit inside for now.

A few days before Christmas, imagine my surprise when I opened the door one afternoon to find a gorgeous brunette standing there—one I’d missed like hell.

“Hey.” My mouth spread into a wide smile.

“Hope it’s okay for me to drop by.”

My father spoke from behind a newspaper. “Trust me. You just made his day.”

“Thank you for outing me, old man.”

“Hi, Farrah.” Dad waved.

“Hi, Phil.”

Without me having to ask, my father folded up his paper and winked before heading to his bedroom to give us some privacy.

She stepped inside. “I just thought I’d come by and see how you’re doing.”

“I’m glad you did. I’d been trying to give you space after the drama that went down the last time we were together, but I’ve missed you.”

“How are things going with work?” she asked. “Nathan told me you gave your job notice in North Carolina, and you’re diving into the construction business headfirst.”

“Yup. Now that I’ve formally made that decision, I feel good about it. And things are in a much better place at Muldoon than they were three years ago. No real messes to deal with this time.”

“Good.”

Lowering my voice, I said, “I really need to get my own place. I love my dad, but I miss my privacy.”

“Are you planning to buy something?”

“Eventually.” I felt a desperate need to take her away somewhere. “Want to get out of here? Go for a ride? I’ll drive you back to your car after.”

She took a moment to answer. “Yeah. Sure.”

Yes. “Okay. Let me grab my keys.”

We ended up driving to a lake I’d discovered recently. It was about a half hour away. I went there a couple of times a week to clear my head in the middle of the day. I took her to my favorite spot under a shady tree, overlooking the water.

Farrah sat atop a rock and looked around at the gorgeous scenery. “This is really nice.”

“It’s my secret hideaway—not so secret anymore.”

“Thank you for sharing it with me.” She took a deep breath of the fresh air. “You guys are coming over for Christmas, right?”

“If you’ll still have us.”

She smiled. “Nathan is counting on it.”

I lifted my brow. “And you? Counting on it or dreading it?”

After a short delay that had me on edge, she answered, “I want you there, too.”

I smiled.

We took some time to enjoy the silence, no sounds but birds chirping and leaves rustling.

“So…I’ve been working on myself lately,” I eventually announced. “Finally seeing a therapist, which I know is long overdue.”

She reached for my hand. I didn’t realize how much I’d been starving for the contact until she touched me.

“That’s wonderful, Jace. You know, I stopped seeing mine a couple years ago, but I need to go back. Are you finding it helpful?”

“So far, yeah. I’ve only had two sessions. But we started with the tough stuff. We talked about how my leaving town three years ago wasn’t about fear of Nathan or hurting him. It was my own guilt that made me feel I didn’t deserve you because of the blame I’d placed on myself. Until I’m willing to face those memories and face my role in everything, I won’t begin to heal.”

She let go of my hand. “Why do you think you’re able to face it now and not three years ago?”

“Ironically, it took the loss of one of my own parents to make me realize I don’t have forever to work it all out.”

My therapist had encouraged me to talk to Farrah more about some of the things I’d been keeping in—specific memories. As hard as it was, I decided to put that into practice.

I looked up at the sky. “Your mother was holding my hand that day. I think on some level she felt like she needed to protect me the way she would her own son.” My eyes shut tightly. “It was in those seconds, holding her hand, that I decided I needed to protect them. The guy was pointing the gun at your dad, and I counted to