The Heretic Wind: The Life of Mary Tudor, Queen of England by Judith Arnopp (best ereader for students TXT) 📕

“Hold yourbreath, sir, I am not going anywhere. Where is my Lord of Pembroke? I wouldhave a word with him.”

They stammerand stutter, raise their hands at a loss for words, until Paget steps forward.

“Your Majesty,Pembroke is on the field, where he should be.”

I look intoPaget’s eyes, noting his underlying fear, his flagging confidence that we canwin this day. He is a heretic and a weak one at that. Dismissing his concern, Inod and smile in the face of it. Confidence is required. I have learned that ifyou believe hard enough that a thing will happen, it usually comes to pass.Good or bad.

“Then, if thatis the case, we are well served. I suggest we calm ourselves and pray,gentlemen. I warrant we shall have better news come morning. Pembroke will notdesert us and neither will God, in whom my chief trust lies. Go you to your beds,safe in the knowledge that the palace is secure, as is our city.”

I speak with aconfidence I do not really feel. When we return to my apartments, I turn on mywomen.

“Keep herquiet!” I run a disdainful eye over Dorothy, whose face is red and drenchedfrom weeping. “For Heaven’s sake, child, have peace! Turn your attention to God;have some faith in Him.”

But my angerexacerbates the maid’s fear and, as others give in to their terror, the soundof weeping intensifies.

I utter a foulword.

“They areafraid, Your Majesty, but I will do my best to quiet them.”

My heartsoftens, just a little.

“Let themsleep close by, if it will help…” I wave my hand and watch as the mother ofmaids settles them to sleep on cushions about my chamber. Running my handacross my face, I turn from them towards the window and open the shutter. Aghostly moon is sinking in the west, the sky to the east is striped with pinkand grey, proving dawn is not far off. I wonder what the new day will bring.

I close myeyes and, swaying slightly on my feet, I offer up a silent prayer.

Do notforsake me, Lord. Send me strength.

I remain atthe window for a long time and when at last I allow my women to persuade me tolie upon my bed, I do not sleep. As the light of day imperceptibly increases, Ilie wide-eyed, listening to the night mumblings and snores of my companions. IfWyatt succeeds it will not just be me who falls; my council will be scattered,my women will be forced to flee. If the reformers prevail, all the good Catholicsof England will be driven from the land. It must not come to pass.

I am justleaving Mass the following morning when Paget brings me the news that Wyatt,having come as alarmingly close as Ludgate Bar in the midst of andisintegrating army, has surrendered and is pleading for a pardon.

Relief stealsthe strength from my knees. Almost falling, I cling to the rood screen.

“Then we mustthank God for it. I knew we would prevail for our cause is righteous.”

But as I givemy thanks I cannot help but consider my fate had the outcome been different. I mustrid this land of my enemies for if I don’t, I myself will be destroyed.

I amexhausted, I am anxious and I am relieved. This must never happen again.I am queen. How dare men try to deny me? Summoning the council, I spendless than an hour deciding how to deal with the perpetrators. I have beenlenient in the past but I will never be so again.

Carew and hisbrother have somehow managed to escape to France, but others remain and theyshall be given the full force of punishment. Carew, in his exile, will have tolearn to live with that.

“ThrowCourtenay back in the Tower. We shall deal with him appropriately later.”

“Once we haveevidence of his…”

I stab Pagetwith a glare and he backs down, fumbling with his pile of papers. Crossing myhands over my belly, I lean back in my chair.

“And evict hismother from my court. I can no longer bear her near me.”

GertrudeCourtenay, my one time friend, has been a thorn in my side for months, everurging me to select her son as my husband. I see now that my refusal forcedthem to seek other avenues to power. Let them suffer the consequence.

“GuildfordDudley and his father, to whom you will remember, gentlemen, I showed leniencybefore,will this time die. I will not be made a fool of and can tolerate nomore of their disloyalty.”

I try not tothink what death means. I am not committing them to an easy passing but aprolonged and painful punishment, followed by an eternity in Hell.

“As for Wyatt,question him and do not go lightly. We must know every single traitor involvedin this. We must clear England of traitors. They will all be punished.”

Paget standsup, hesitantly clears his throat.

“And JaneGrey, Your Majesty?”

I look upsharply, my narrowed eyes clashing with his. I turn away first, unable towithstand the suggestion I see mirrored there.

“She has donenothing,” I shrug. “As a prisoner in the Tower, what involvement could she have?”

“She didn’tneed to do anything, Your Majesty. That is exactly my point. The simple fact ofher presence is, and always will be, a trigger for Protestant uprising. Herfather and husband plotted together with Wyatt to place her on your throne.”

“That, sir, isnot her fault.”

He puffs hischeeks, rolls his eyes and turns to Gardiner for support. Gardiner clears histhroat.

“Your Majesty,I think we all believe that, for the safety of your good self, Jane Grey cannotbe allowed to live. For the security of the true church and of all England.”

At this momentI hate Paget and all he stands for yet … deep down, I know he is right. I standup so suddenly my chair topples backward. I kick it aside, yell for the guardto open the doors, and stride from the room.

I am in thegarden at Chelsea. Katherine Parr sits beside me, sewing a long seam. The sunis warm on my cheek and her voice buzzes like a lazy bee in my ear. One of hersmall dogs is cradled in my lap, its coat silken and soft beneath my fingers.Far off, I can hear Elizabeth