Nelson's Lady Hamilton by Meynell, Esther (surface ebook reader txt) 📕

it was such an unexpected, such a knock-down blow; such a death. But I will not go on, for I shall get out of my senses again."

And after all this the tragedy was avoided, the dinner-party did not take place. Emma wrote to her friend, Mrs. William Nelson, on the 2Oth of February: " I am so unwell that we cannot have his Royal Highness to dinner on Sunday, which will NOT vex me." But it is very evident that she had not expended upon the episode any of the anxiety and perturbation of spirit that almost tore Nelson in pieces. The admiral was as relieved as he had been agitated.

AS "ST. CECILIA"

GEORGE ROMKEY

" I glory in your conduct," he told her, " and in your inestimable friendship. ... I wish you were my sister that I might instantly give you half my fortune for your glorious conduct. Be firm! Your cause is that of honour against infamy." The affair made such an impression upon his mind, that some weeks later he was still harping upon it: " I now know he never can dine with you ; for you would go out of the house sooner than suffer it: and as to letting him hear you sing, I only hope he will be struck deaf and you dumb, sooner than such a thing should happen!"

The violence of Nelson's feeling on this matter is shown by the violence of his words.

The flutter of this Prince of Wales episode was barely over when Nelson wrote Emma a letter which places their relations to each other and to the child Horatia beyond all possibility of doubt. The Thompson fiction was dropped in this letter, for it was not to be trusted to the post but to the hands of a faithful messenger. The letter is dated March i, 1801—

" Now, my own dear wife, for such you are in my eyes and in the face of Heaven, I can give full scope to my feelings, for I dare say Oliver will faithfully deliver this letter. You know, my dearest Emma, that there is nothing in this world that I would not do for us to live together, and to have our dear little child with

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us. ... I love, I never did love any one else. I never had a dear pledge of love till you gave me one; and you, thank my God, never gave one to anybody else." [Nelson here shows that he had been kept considerably in the dark as to certain happenings of Emma's past.] " I think before March is out you will either see us back, or so victorious that we shall ensure a glorious issue to our toils. Think what my Emma will feel at seeing return safe, perhaps with a little more fame, her own dear loving Nelson. Never, if I can help it, will I dine out of my ship or go on shore, except duty calls me. Let Sir Hyde have any glory he can catch—I envy him not. You, my beloved Emma, and my country are the two dearest objects of my fond heart— a heart susceptible and true. Only place confidence in me, and you never shall be disappointed. . . . May the Heavens bless you, My love, my darling angel, my heaven-given wife, the dearest, only true wife of her own till death,—Nelson and Bronte." In the postscript he adds : " The time will ere long arrive when Nelson will land to fly to his Emma, to be for ever with her. Let that hope keep us up under our present difficulties. Kiss and bless our dear Horatia—think of that." Truly Nelson was at one with Shakespeare, when he wrote—

" Let me not to the marriage of true minds Admit impediments."

CHAPTER XIV

TO THE LAST BATTLE

NELSON sailed from Yarmouth in the St. George on the I2th of March, 1801, to engage in the second of his three great battles. Sir Hyde Parker was nominally commander-in-chief; but, as Nelson wrote to Emma: "You say, my dearest Friend, why don't I put my Chief forward? He has put me in the front of the battle, and Nelson will be first." There was considerable truth in Lady Malmesbury's comment after the battle: " I feel very sorry for Sir Hyde," she said; " but no wise man would ever have gone with Nelson, or over him, as he was sure to be in the background in every case." Even at the outset Nelson did not get on very well with his commander-in-chief. He was constitutionally impatient of control, and where his brilliant genius led him he followed fast—not waiting for the laggard footsteps or the late-given approval of commonplace and uninspired superiors. " Sir Hyde Parker," he told Emma, "had run his pen through all that could do me

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credit, or give me support ; but never mind, Nelson will be first if he lives, and you shall partake of all his glory. So it shall be my study to distinguish myself, that your heart shall leap for joy when my name is mentioned." In another letter written about this time, he said, with all his old picturesque spirit: " The Dane should see our Flag waving every moment he lifted up his head." And with characteristic self-confidence he told Emma: " Your Nelson's plans are bold and decisive—all on the great scale. I hate your pen-and-ink men; a fleet of British ships of