Don't Look Behind You (Don't Look Series Book 1) by Emily Kazmierski (ereader iphone txt) 📕

but what if it isn’t? What if he gets off and decides to kill us to honor his dead twin’s memory? A shudder of fear threatens to turn my veins to ice, but I fight it off. I’ve come this far, found my courage, and I won’t be ruled by fear now that the end of this horrible journey is in sight.

Squaring my chin, I march right past him with my twin at my side.

Inside, the courtroom is not as grand as I thought it would be. It’s not cavernous with ornately carved architecture like the ones on television. It’s a smallish, wood-paneled room with two long wooden tables facing a raised podium where the judge will sit. Behind the tables are several rows of plain chairs for members of the press and the audience. My eyes catch on a tall, broad back with long black hair neatly combed.

Esau turns toward us with warmth in his eyes. “You look amazing,” he whispers to Taryn when she hugs him.

“You too,” she says, running a hand down the buttoned front of his shirt. “Is that a panda under there?”

Esau grins, pulling his collar aside far enough that I can see there’s a panda on his undershirt.

Taryn giggles.

Something in my chest tightens. I’m so happy for them that they found each other in all of this. Taryn has never seemed happier than she does these days. She grins like the Cheshire cat when she comes in from a date with Esau, minutes before curfew. And Karen’s taken her guardian duties extra seriously and instituted Friday night dinners so she can get to know Esau too.

I wish Noah was here.

We haven’t spoken since the day I told him about the sweatband. My lawyer wouldn’t tell me anything, either, because it was a separate case and I didn’t need to know. I don’t know if they proved the bloody band had belonged to Noah’s murdered brother, or if it was just another dead end. For Noah’s sake, I hope they found answers.

“Look who I found outside?” Esau steps to one side and pulls Noah forward.

My mouth drops open in shock.

“Hey,” Noah says nervously, shuffling around Esau and Taryn to stand beside me. I never understood the phrase, “A sight for sore eyes” until this moment. Noah looks like an oasis in the desert in his crisp flannel, dark wash jeans, and shiny dress shoes. “They’re my dad’s,” he says, shuffling his feet.

“They look nice.”

“We’ll start in five minutes. You girls ready?” our lawyer asks. At our nod, she says, “Meet me up there when you’re done here.” Pointing to one of the wooden tables, she moves in that direction.

Taryn and Esau are whispering and grinning at each other like there’s no one else in the room. I turn to Noah and find him staring at me. My mouth runs dry. We speak at once.

“Look—”

“Audrey, I—”

Shaky laughter breaks the tense air between us.

“You go first,” he says, his hands in his pockets.

Swallowing, I do. “Thanks for coming today. It means a lot that you’re here. I don’t know what’s happening with the investigation into your brother’s death, but I’m sure it can’t be easy for you to be here knowing he hasn’t gotten justice yet. Or that he might never. If that guy was responsible, that really sucks. But at least he can’t hurt anyone else.” I’m babbling but I can’t curb the tide. My word vomit spills out until I clap a hand over my mouth to stop myself from digging myself farther into the pit that I’ve dug for myself.

Noah shifts his weight. Sighs. “It’s not bad, really. Being here. I am glad that he’s dead. It helps.” He pauses, chewing at the corner of his lower lip. “I wanted to tell you. They tested the sweatband. It was my brother’s. After that they went back to the evidence they had and re-tested some of the DNA they found on my brother’s body. It was the Mayday Killer. He killed Simeon. They think it was his first.”

“I’m so sorry, Noah. I don’t know what to say.”

With surprising certainty, he puts a hand on my shoulder. A gentle finger lifts my chin until our gazes meet.

“None of this is your fault,” he says. “Especially not my brother’s death.”

“I know, but thanks.”

The corner of his mouth tips up. Something low in my belly flutters back to life. “I was thinking, once this is over, you’ll probably be pretty hungry. Famished, even. Can I interest you in a trip to the diner? I hear their peanut butter milkshakes are the best ever.” At something in my eyes, Noah’s smile grows.

The butterflies in my stomach are doing a line dance now, complete with switching partners and do-si-does.

“How can I pass up such a delicious-sounding milkshake? And maybe a burger?”

“I thought you were a vegetarian.”

“Taryn’s the vegetarian. I’m a meat-atarian. It’s been so hard not eating burgers the past few months. If I never eat another bite of tofu, it’ll still be too soon.”

He laughs. “That would be great.”

“Double date?” Taryn chimes in, beaming in her spot underneath Esau’s arm.

Noah nods, and his smile makes my entire being puff up with happiness.

“We can talk about what play to do in the spring. I’ve got some ideas.” Taryn’s eyes twinkle as she looks up at Esau. He arches an eyebrow.

“Othello,” he suggests.

“The Importance of Being Earnest,” she counters.

“We can discuss it later,” he growls into her ear, making her titter.

“It’s time,” our lawyer says from where she’s standing behind the table, making all four of us stand straighter. “Come have a seat.”

I nod, turning to go, but Noah puts a hand on my arm to stop me. “You’re going to do great,” he whispers in my ear. His lips brush against my cheek for the barest of moments before he withdraws, but I swear the warmth of that kiss will linger for the rest of the day.

“All rise for the honorable Judge Jay Houser.” The court officer opens a door