The Nurse by J. Corrigan (list of ebook readers txt) 📕

too, and the vaulted compartment of his mind that holds both the memory of the day he found his dead son and Rose’s response on the roof terrace will remain locked forever.

63

Rose

14 September 2016

I’m sitting on the train from Chesterfield to Peterborough. As I flick through the newspapers that I picked up at the station kiosk, my heart batters inside my ribcage. I really shouldn’t be reading this garbage, and neither should the journalists be writing it. The inside pages are still heaving with my story. Somehow the news about my illness has been leaked.

I slouch into the seat – luckily there’s no one else in my carriage – and try to think of the good things; try to put the Deanes behind me, although it’s something I will never be able to do. But the cancer has not progressed and I’ve begun taking the medication. I’ve had a narrow escape, the oncologist said, though he didn’t ask why I failed to seek treatment while in prison. I noticed his discomfort at my situation; he didn’t want to get involved in anything other than my physical body. He’s a good doctor, efficient, thorough and kind. All the attributes I once aspired to. I so desperately wanted to qualify, and eventually become a paediatrician. I wanted the dream: a stellar medical career, a home, a husband, a plethora of my own children. I did not want to be a nurse, but it was all I could be after Samira. After Abe.

I look through the train window, at fields and farmhouses, the horizon, and the vastness of life, and the futility of that life overwhelms me.

Soon, though, I will see Theo again.

‘Can’t keep away?’ the security officer says to me, but with a kind smile.

‘I miss some of it.’

‘You’d be surprised how many say that.’ He pauses, rubs his chin. I always liked this officer. ‘I’m so sorry, Rose, about everything.’

I nod at him. My mother’s involvement, despite her having been released, has been documented in most of the nationals. It was Ed who implicated her, by disclosing that she’d been receiving huge amounts of money from Daniel over many years. Ed Madden has been a bastard until the very end. But my mother didn’t know about the swap, or that Abe was my son. I want to believe that. I can’t face seeing her. Not yet. Maybe never.

I drop all my stuff into the box. It’s strange being the visitor here. Cathy is sitting where I used to sit when Theo came. I wave at her but she doesn’t wave back; she just leans over the table and pulls out a chair for me.

I sit down. ‘How’s it going?’ I ask.

‘Same. Nothing changes.’

‘It’s your day to see Don, isn’t it?’ Cathy sees Don every Wednesday.

‘He’s left. Well, they say he’s taking unpaid leave, but he’s left.’

‘Ah.’

She looks at me. ‘How’s Theo?’

‘He’s good. I love him, Cathy.’ I drum my finger on the table. ‘Thank you for writing the story.’

She nods.

I can’t come here to visit Cathy again. My mind revisits Abigail’s words the day of Abe’s death. A good lay, but— If I hadn’t interrupted her, I might have known about Abe before. If…

‘You know,’ I say, ‘I’m more like you than you think I am.’ This is another reason I cannot stay in contact with Cathy.

She shakes her head. ‘No you’re not. Don’t ever say that.’

‘I hate myself, but I love my grandchild more than that hate.’

‘Don’t hate yourself, Rose.’

‘And you?’

‘I want to change. I’ve asked the director for help.’

‘That’s good.’ I know Cathy won’t change, but I also know she wants to get out of here.

‘Try and be happy, Rose.’

I get up. ‘I’ll visit again soon.’

‘Don’t. Leave it be.’

I dip my head. We both understand.

I make my way to the exit.

64

Theo

17 September 2016

Theo’s waiting for the taxi that will be taking him to Manchester airport, where he’s meeting Rose. Her oncologist has given her the go-ahead for the trip. Her prognosis is good.

He’s killing time reading the newspapers, which are still running stories on the Deanes and Rose. He reads various headlines, hoping that Rose has not.

Baby Swap Tragedy

Rose Marlowe’s Husband – the Real Killer

Rose Marlowe Recovering From Cancer

Rose and Miles Marlowe to Divorce

Writer Turns Down Seven-Figure Advance for Rose Marlowe’s Biography

The Mount Clinic – More Victims Coming Forward

He throws the papers to one side and opens his laptop to check his emails.

One from his editor.

Hi Theo,

Love the new novel. Who would have thought you had a love story in you? I plan to take it to next month’s acquisition meeting.

This is good news, as since the Deanes’ arrest and hearing, the advance on the Marlowe non-fiction has been increased by 50 per cent. I know you will say no, but I thought I’d let you know.

Best,

Greg

Theo wings back a reply:

Apologies, but it’s still a no.

Best,

Theo

He clicks off his laptop and puts it in his carry-on, then folds up the newspapers, placing them in his carry-on too. He puts the bag over his shoulder, picks up his suitcase and makes his way downstairs to wait outside in the warmth. It’s turning out to be an Indian summer.

In less than twenty-four hours he and Rose will be in San Francisco, staying at a hotel only a quarter of a mile from her granddaughter’s home.

Inside the airport, he weaves his way through passengers checking in for holidays or business travel. The kids are back at school but the space is still teeming with kids, with mothers, with grandmothers. He sees what Rose will be seeing. He loves Rose, utterly and unconditionally. More than success, more than money. More than his own life. He would have given his own life for Elliot’s. He would give it for Rose. He would give anything for Rose.

They meet in the departure area’s Costa Coffee. Rose is wearing stone-washed jeans and a navy blue off-the-shoulder top, layered with a sea-green T-shirt. She still looks drained.

On spotting him, she moves towards him, but