Myth 13 - Myth Alliances by Asprin, Robert (ebook reader online free .txt) 📕

distance from the bookstore, but it was still difficult to have a private conversation. Hundreds of people, one after another, came up to our table with a book held out and a simpering expression on his or her face. Because I was supposed to be compassionate, I tried to hold my temper at each interruption, though it got more and more difficult when I could only squeeze out three or four words before the next one came.

With my position in the Bazaar I could usually depend on a maitre d' to fend off intruders while I dined, but even he, a Deveel in his middle years, was starstruck at the sight of our guest, and did nothing to prevent the crowd of pas?sionate Zol Icty fans from getting in the way of the service of our drinks and food, and of my narrative flow.

The Kobold blinked up wryly at me from the book he

was signing for a Gnomish woman whose blue face was flushed a becoming sapphire at the sight of her idol. “You've been very patient, Master Skeeve,” he assured me, “but you needn't worry. This is the last one. I only sold 8,736 copies today, and including this, I have now signed them all.”

I gawked at him.

“You counted all of them? You kept track?”

He shrugged modestly. “Second nature for a Kobold. It's said we have a mathematical bent that inclines at a per?fect 90 degree angle. Now, if you would be so kind, pour me some tea, and let's talk about your problem.”

Impressed at last, I complied.

“Pervects,” he mused, sipping from his cup of tea. “Pervects are very interesting. They have every advantage, coming from a dimension that uses both magik and tech?nology with equal ease. Their physical attributes are such that they are saved from harm in circumstances that would kill weaker beings. Their skin is natural armor, their teeth and claws formidable weapons, yet their species evolved superior intelligence. They have so much confidence in their own expertise that it's difficult to prevent one from carrying out his or her plans.”

I met Wensley's eyes and nodded. (Bunny was still star?ing at our guest, though I could tell she really was listen?ing.) “That sounds like the ones I know,” I said.

“The key here is secrecy. Don't ever tell a Pervect what you want from him, or he'll do his best to thwart you. You can't expect someone with that kind of intelligence and ego to go along with the wishes of a lesser species, and in their view, we are all lesser species.”

“That's what I was afraid of,” Wensley droned sadly. “We tried to tell them to go, but they wouldn't.”

“You were not speaking from a position of strength, Master Wensley,” Zol admonished him. “With Pervects you must dictate.”

Lots of luck, I thought. “I'd like to lay out my plans be?fore you, Master Zol,” I began. "Ten Pervects is an army.

We can't force them out by strength, because as you point out, any one of them could tear us apart. We can't use threats, same reason. Blackmail would backfire on us, and besides, it's too dirty a scheme for me. It looks like the only thing we can do is see if we can find out what they're afraid of and scare them away. I know Pervects don't frighten eas?ily, but even they must fear something. Or maybe we could trick them into leaving and not coming back, convince them there's a plague in the kingdom or something. I hope you can give us some advice on what we could use to pry them loose."

The Kobold regarded me solemnly. “Once you have that information do you intend to put these plans into practical use?”

“Well, that's my intention,” I asserted. “I promised Wensley here that I would try to free him and his people.”

“That's one of the finest things about Klahds,” Zol ob?served cheerfully. “They always want to do the right thing. My advice is to dive right in. Let your intentions be your guide.” In my zeal I rose to my feet. Bunny put her hand on my arm and pulled me down to the bench again.

“We'd like some specific guidelines,” she enunciated, pointedly. “How can a Klahd and some Wuhses oust a party of determined Pervects?”

“Why, with the help of an experienced Kobold,” he replied, patting her on the hand with his thin gray fingers. “I've gotten so interested listening to you that I simply must come along.”

I glanced at Wensley, who was looking hopeful but for?lorn. “I doubt that Pareley would be able to afford your fees, sir.”

“My fees?” he echoed jovially, blinking his huge eyes at me. “The only fee I'd charge is being right in the thick of things. This is an opportunity I can't afford to squander. Call it research. You can pay my expenses, that's all. Travel, housing, entertainment...” He started to tick them off on his long fingers.

I saw stacks of coins begin to mount up in my imagina?tion. My dubiousness must have showed on my face. The little man laughed and patted my arm. “I don't eat much, I can sleep anywhere, and I find entertainment in almost everything. Don't worry. We'll get this job done. You'll see.”

I began to like him in spite of myself. “I want to enlist a few more of my associates,” I added.

“If you'll listen to me,” Zol insisted, pouring