Debt-Free Forever by Gail Vaz-Oxlade (the beginning after the end read novel .TXT) 📕

and prioritizing what’s really important to you. Then you’ll work on creating a plan to get you from where you are now to where you really want to be using milestones that help to keep you motivated.

GET STARTED SETTING GOALS

It may take several days, or even several weeks, for you to set the goals you want to achieve over the coming months and years. If you’ve never set a goal in your life, it won’t be easy the first time. But with practice you’ll get more fluent at defining what you want and the steps you must take to get there.

Start by finding a quiet place where you can think about what you want. If you’re planning to do this with your partner, it’s a good idea for you each to do it solo first, so you can get in touch with what YOU really want. Don’t worry about what’s happened in the past, the mistakes made, the errors that must be corrected. The place to start is with the NOW

Your Core Values

Grab another piece of paper and label it My Core Values List. Begin by writing down the things that you consider to be the most important to you. Don’t do this strictly as an intellectual exercise, writing down only what you think will make a good list. Do it as an honest representation of what you want, writing down what really matters to you. I’m not even going to give you suggestions of what they could be because this is something you’re going to have to dig deep to come up with. You’re building a list of your core values.

I will, however, share with you my core values: the things I hold as really important and that I use to guide my decision making and my life. I’m all about family. And about truth. I work hard to create balance. And I think that happy is the richest you can ever be.

When I was offered the hosting job for Til Debt Do Us Part, I made it clear to the producers that my kids were the most important thing to me. While I was interested in doing the show, I would not do it if it meant being away from my children too many days a week. I thought I was very clear on that point. Two days. That was the max for me. If we could shoot the show in two days each week, we could work together.

We went through the auditioning process, and the production company made their pitch to the network. They won the contract and sent me a production schedule. The schedule had me shooting four days a week. Seems no one thought it was possible to do it in less time. If I wanted the job, I’d have to be ready to hit the road four days out of seven.

I declined. I reiterated that my children were young, that I was committed to being a mom first, wished them luck, and kissed them goodbye. While the idea of hosting a TV show was intriguing and the money was good, what I’d have to give up went against my core values. I wasn’t willing to take the job and then try to change the rules once we were into it since I don’t play games. And working to the exclusion of everything else that was important to me would put my life out of balance and make me unhappy. So I said no thanks.

Turns out you can shoot a TV show in just two days a week.

Whenever I’ve told the story, people have usually responded with something like, “Good for you, sticking to your guns.” It wasn’t hard. Because I knew what was really, really important to me, it was easy to prioritize and choose.

This exercise is meant to help you figure out what’s really, really important to you so you, too, can prioritize and choose. Take your time and think about it. What matters? What do you want? What do you dream? What makes you happy? What is the thing you feel defines who you are? Who do you respect, and why? Where do you wish you were in your life? What do you think the future holds? You may have to come back a couple of times to your Core Values List before you move on because figuring out who we are and what we want is no small feat. But if we never start thinking about it, we’re never going to know. So start now. Think. Jot notes. Think some more.

Once you’ve made your Core Values List, it’s time to come up with some goals you want to achieve over the coming week, month, year, two years, five years, ten years, and so on.

Your Master List

The world is filled with people who themselves are filled with good intentions. The gap between intentions and outcomes can sometimes seem like the Grand Canyon. Part of the problem is that people store their desires, their dreams, their Big Wannas inside their heads. But your brain is prone to respond to immediate needs, and so every emergency, every To Do, takes precedence over the big dreams you may have. People forget what they really want because they’re so busy dealing with what life is throwing at them. Then another year rolls by and they’re no closer to their dreams. The only way anyone can stay on track to their goals—be they short-, medium-, or long-term in nature—is to write them down.

Grab another piece of paper to write a Master List of all the things you want to accomplish. Include everything you think you want or need to do in the next few years. Look back at the messy page42ou created at the beginning of this chapter and incorporate those ideas. You’re not trying to organize anything yet, just emptying out your brain. Note everything you can think of that you would identify as a goal—everything you have been planning to do, promising