The Heretic Wind: The Life of Mary Tudor, Queen of England by Judith Arnopp (best ereader for students TXT) 📕

I cough feebly and painfully.My mouth tastes of ashes. There is little breath left in my body now. What willhappen once I am gone? Will Elizabeth revenge the blood of the heretics I haveshed by punishing the Catholics? Will she hack open the schism with Rome oncemore?

She will no longer need topretend to embrace the true church. I know her obedience was always just a ruseto appease me; an instinctive desire to preserve her life and liberty.

Oh, Elizabeth! I only wanted to be loved, tomake the people see the error of their ways. I could not let my subjects burnin hell. I had to try to save them.

Susan’s bosom grows too warm, Iam suffocating. I pull away and draw the edge of my sleeve across my nose, dabmy wet cheeks.

“There,” she says. “You see,all is well. I have sent for the physician again, just to be sure you are…”

“I am tired of physicians,tired of the fuss.”

My voice cracks. She movesfrom the bed with a rustle of petticoats and someone else takes her place. Iwish I could see clearly, if only I could blink this damned mist from my eyes –this blackness.

The darkness conceals so manydangers, so many secrets. I need to see clearly. I long to look upon a face andsee for myself if it is trustworthy or dishonest. The truth that lurks like anassassin in the shadows glides closer.

“Who is it?” My voice issharp. A smooth hand slips into mine.

“It is Anne, Your Majesty…”

My spirit calms, I breathemore easily at the touch of a friend.

“You must be tired, child,have you been here all night?”

“All day, Your Majesty. It is justcoming on to evening now.”

I slump into the pillow, let miseryroll over me.

“My world is always dark.”

“I know but … perhaps...”

“Oh, don’t say it. They willnot be able to cure me. I am beyond the help of physicians. We all know that.”

“Hope is a powerful thing, YourMajesty.”

“Well, I hope you are rightthen.” I laugh bitterly at my poor attempt at humour.

Silence falls in the chamberand I subside once more into my own thoughts. The last few years have been ahell on earth. Everything I tried to do for the good of my people, the good ofthe church, was thwarted. I did all in my power to make them see thedark path they were following. Gentle persuasion didn’t turn them. They areimmured in their sin but I could not stand idly by while they perjuredthemselves. I had to force them to turn before it was too late. It was acase of the heretics burning here on earth, or for eternity in the hereafter.

Why would they not listen?

I cough, swallowing bile. Imust try to continue with my tale … while I can.

“I think I went a little madthen. Perhaps I still am. I was at a loss, do you see? I did not know how tohelp them...

“For a while, after Philipleft the country, I tried to boost the royal coffers, reinstate the churches andsome of the monasteries. There were other state matters too that had falleninto chaos during my brother’s time. I tried to right his wrongs as well as myfather’s.”

“I am sure, you did, YourMajesty, no one could have cared more than you…”

“Don’t patronise me. I am nota child.”

The coffers were almost emptybut it was hard to be economical; after all, I had my status to maintain.Nobody will have faith in a queen who dresses like a pauper. I had to bind thepeople to me, persuade them that I knew best. It cost a lot to live up to myfather’s image…”

The child makes a soothingsound that is almost as irritating as her platitudes but, deep down, some partof me realises I must cherish those still loyal to me, for they are very, veryfew.

“In 1555, they tried to unseatme again. Members of my own council this time. They were dissatisfied withPhilip and squeamish at my punishments of the heretics, and teamed up withFrance against me.

“I’d been too lenient afterWyatt’s rebellion. I should have hanged them all then. This time, they didn’tfind me so forgiving. No one can accuse me of not learning lessons.”

“No, Your Majesty.”

Her fingers tighten on mine, pressingmy rings deeply into my skin. I probably deserve the pain.

“I was sure Elizabeth wasinvolved but as usual there was no proof. More than twenty men were arrestedand we placed a ring of guards around my sister’s house. We took her servantsand after a little teasing in the Tower they soon revealed that they’d all knownof the rebellion … and supported it. I’d have taken Elizabeth too, and put herto the sword like her mother before her, but Philip advised against it.”

“King Philip believed her tobe innocent?”

“Well, no, but she has alwaysbeen popular with the people. He was wary of punishing her too harshly. Withher out of the way, the road would have opened for my cousin, the Scottishqueen, and even if she is Catholic, nobody wants that. So, I delayed arresting mysister. Instead, I sent her a diamond, and invited her to court.”

“You were reconciled?”

I remove my hand from Anne’sto scratch my scalp.

“I need a drink; I’ve aheadache and my stomach feels like it’s been kicked by a donkey.”

“I will order up a powder, YourMajesty.” Susan’s voice issues from the hearth. I had mistakenly believed I wasalone with Anne.

I take a sip of wine, pass thecup back, and hear the clunk as she places it on the table.

“Elizabeth and I weren’treconciled, as such. She refused to come to court, pleading sickness again, andI was too ill myself to care. By then, the headaches had become so bad thatsometimes I couldn’t raise my head from the pillow. The doctors couldn’t decidewhat was wrong.”

“You’ve been ill all thattime?”

“Oh, off and on; not all thetime.”

“So, she didn’t come.”

“Not until Christmas – fifteenfifty-six; I think that was the year. It seems longer than just two years ago. Shemade a real show of herself too, all airs and graces, a silent reminder to thepeople that she