That Day by Karen Deen (best novels to read in english txt) 📕

ASHA

I’m almost running down the hallway to my bedroom needing to put space between us. Closing the door behind me, I know Kurt is going to think that’s weird because I never bother when he’s around. Me walking around naked is his preference if he gets a say.

Seeing my phone next to my bed, I’ve got it in my hand, and as soon as I close the bathroom door, I put my hand on the water tap and turn it on hard.

Streams of water start pounding onto the floor and the noise will cover the phone call I desperately need to make.

“Please pick up, please pick up,” I’m whispering, almost begging.

“Morning, Asha. You’re up early for a Sunday.”

“Davina, I need to talk to you.” I’m trying not to sound panicky, but I don’t think I’m succeeding.

“Are you okay? Where are you, I can hear running water.” Her voice is blunt now and in full work mode.

“Yeah, I’m fine, but I just need to talk to you about Kurt later. There are just some things that I’m confused about and you’re the only one I can talk to about it.”

“Oh, I thought it was something dangerous, but it’s just man problems.” Her laugh makes me nervous and annoyed at the same time. “Sure, we can catch up today and have a chat. But if he’s broken your heart, I’ll try not to say I told you so, and then I’ll kill him for hurting you.”

I don’t want to say too much now, so I just start going along with her. I mean, surely, she’d know if anything bad was going on. I mean, that’s her job, to know every threat to me, and she would be watching Kurt too.

My mind is so confused.

So many times, he’s made me promise to trust him, but he doesn’t trust me.

What the hell.

“Thanks,” is all I can reply. For once, my mind is too jumbled to talk instead of my usual state, where I can’t stop the words from falling out.

“What are your plans for today? What time works for us to meet up?” Davina’s voice snaps me out of my brain fail.

“Um, we are about to go to breakfast, so maybe about eleven. Can you come here?” My mind is already thinking of how I can get rid of Kurt for a while so I can talk to her alone.

“I’ll meet you there and I’ll bring chocolate.”

“I think I’ll need more than that.” I start to strip off my robe. I know I’m running out of time. I actually need to shower like I said I was doing.

“Eleven am is too early for alcohol, so chocolate’ll have to do. Talk then, enjoy breakfast, and don’t worry. Everything will be fine. I’m sure it’s just a simple misunderstanding and you will be fucking like crazy before nightfall.”

“God, I hope so. Thanks. See you soon.” My heart is praying she’s right, but my head is telling me a different story.

Stepping under the hot water normally has my muscles totally embracing the feeling and letting go. This morning, not even this is working.

With my hand on the tiles and leaning my forehead against my hand, my feelings are so frozen I can’t even cry. I want to, but the tears just won’t fall.

I thought the scared feeling of being alone had finally left me.

Kurt made me feel safe. Like he would protect me until the day I die. I just can’t rationalize in my mind if that’s still the case.

One thing I do know is that I need to pull my big-girl pants up and go out there and pretend nothing is wrong. I need to continue on with my day until I can talk to Davina. Find some clarity or hopefully work out it was all an overreaction.

I don’t feel very sexy this morning, so slipping basic white cotton panties and bra on, I’m sure Kurt would be disappointed. He loves me in lace, but it’s not like he will be getting to see anything under my clothes today. The dress I grab from the cupboard is also a high neckline, showing no cleavage, and doesn’t hug one single curve on my body. It’s a bit like a sack. In fact, it’s one of my period dresses. You know, part of the wardrobe every woman has that they wear on those days where all you feel is fat, bloated, and when you want to curl up in a ball on the bed.

My hand on the doorknob, my eyes closed, I send a message to the universe.

“Please let it all be a mistake. I’m not ready to let him go,” I whisper to whoever wants to listen.

Walking down the hallway, I’m surprised Kurt hasn’t come looking for me yet. Normally he is trying to join me in the shower. Actually, who am I kidding, there is no trying. His body is pressed against mine with hands that are everywhere all at once. And that’s before the soap is even used.

Reaching the kitchen, I can’t find him. Coco is lying on her bed near the window in the morning sun, so he isn’t with her. But the house is silent, the only noise from the whir of the motor in the fridge and the distant sound of the seagulls down on the beach. Normally the sound of the birds and the crashing ocean soothe me, but this morning, everything bothers me.

Stepping out the backdoor and calling for him, my heart actually skips a beat.

What if he’s gone and I don’t get to talk to him?

KURT

I’m not stupid, she knows something is going on with me, so I need to keep it very calm all day and not do anything out of the ordinary. I don’t want to scare her. I know I told her I’d always be honest with her, but I also promised I’d keep her safe. Right now, I think safety ranks higher than the honesty. I