Pieces of Me by Pua Ramona (small books to read txt) 📕

someone else will love her enough to build a greater love out of the pieces of her heart. Love her right Son, because without her, your heart will never know what real love feels like. I tell you this because it kept your mother and I together. Our lives aren’t perfect; we have our bad days but I will always choose your mother’s love over everything else. She’s my backbone, the reason I have pushed myself all these years to be a better man and husband for her. When the right time comes and you find your person, don’t question it. Just take a deep breath and allow your heart to love her. And whoever she is, I will love her as if she’s my own and will trust that she will make an honest man out of you. 

P.s. I read this in one of your mother’s notebooks. You know, the one with all her favorite quotes written inside and this one is stuck with me forever; 

“Be careful if you make a woman cry because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man’s rib. Not from his feet to be walked on, not from his head to be superior, but from the side to be equal. Under his arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved.”

~Matthew Henry.

“Wrap your arms around her, kiss her on her forehead then ask her to dance.”

~Dad. (It always works on your mother.)

And if somehow you question this quote your mother and I will gladly sit you down when you come home and we’ll re-introduce you to The Bible. ;) haha. I wish I could see your sour face right now son, you get it from me. Anyhow, my hand is starting to cramp up. It probably means that I overdid it, so I will end this letter with my heart lighter and on a happy note. Eli, there’s nothing to forgive, we just had a disagreement. Know that I am so damn proud of you, and that no matter how many times we disagree you will always be my son and I love you!

See you soon.

Love,

Dad.

I sit there and cry. I wish Dad were here right now so I could tell him how sorry I am for the things I’ve said. I have so much I want to talk to him about. I want to tell him that I’ve found the woman who fits me, who deserves all my love and to be loved by me. I want him to meet Sina, I want him to know who she is, and how much life she brings into mine. I want him to know how much she means to me, how she fills my heart with so much love. I want him to know that she’s the one I planned on marrying (If she’ll still have me.) I want him to know how crazy I am about her, I want him to know that I’d do anything right now just to have him here so he could tell me that things were going to be okay. What I want most is to tell him how much I love him and that I’m everything that I am because of him. I need him to know that I’m exactly like him. My chest starts tightening and I hold on to his letter and take a deep breath. With everything falling apart around me, Dad’s letter is my lifesaver. I take another deep breath and know that I’m going to be okay. Even if I have to be okay on my own without Sina. I have to show her how much she fucking means to me. I fucked up bad, but I’m willing to do everything and anything that’ll keep her here with me. I’m going to make sure that she knows that she’s going to be the only woman who I will dance with for the rest of my life. I’m going to show her that I’m ready to fight for her. I don’t care if it takes me years, I am ready to fight for us. She’s it for me and she deserves the whole me. I want her to know that she still and will always own my heart.

I close my eyes and silently thank Dad for the letter, and for helping me let go of my past. For the first time in a long time, I’m able to breathe. Sina is still sleeping, but I reach over for her hand and lift it to my mouth, kissing her fingers and then her wrist. I lace my fingers through hers and hold onto her hand while I run my other hand through her hair. I’m not sure how long it’s been since I’ve actually had a conversation with God, but it’s time for me to change a lot of things in my life, and if praying will help keep me out of trouble, especially from fucking things up with Sina then I’ll do it morning, noon, and night. I’m not sure if God is even listening to my sorry ass, but I have to start somewhere. I close my eyes, bow my head and I pray for forgiveness. I pray for acceptance, I pray for guidance, I pray for patience, I pray for peace and I pray for unconditional love.

Sina

I woke up this morning because I needed to use the bathroom, but something heavy was holding me hostage. I moved to see what it was and saw that it was Eli’s arm draped over my waist. I must have slept hard last night, because I don’t remember him getting into bed with me. I could have pushed his ass off the bed but I needed to pee bad, so I moved his arm off me instead. I got out of bed and made my way to the bathroom. I tried not to feel bothered when I saw that I was still bleeding, but it bothered me a whole lot.