Pieces of Me by Pua Ramona (small books to read txt) 📕

“Don’t give me a fucking reason to hate you,” Luka says.

“You have my word man. I love her” I tell him.

He shakes his head and says “Yeah, we’ll see.” Then he leaves the waiting area.

“This is your last chance Eli'' Reese says.

I look at him and say, “I hope so.”

Lei wraps her arms around my waist and says “Don’t hurt her anymore Eli.. Don’t be the reason she never comes back to us.” I feel like I need to throw up because I know Lei’s right. If I fuck this up, she’s going to leave and never come back home. And I’m planning on keeping her and Emma here with me for good. I just hope that Sina doesn’t have a change of heart, because I don’t think I could handle that shit.

Reese and Lei grab their things and start heading out of the waiting area. “Take some time off man. You’re going to need it” Reese says as he gets to the door.

“I can’t lose her now Reese.” I tell him as I wring my hands together in front of me.

He looks at me and says “I don’t know what to tell you Eli, but if you’re really serious about this, I mean really fucking serious? Then you have to follow her lead man. Follow her pace and don’t fucking yell at her ever again. Respect her space and respect her more. Stop treating her like she’s just some piece of shit.” He grabs Lei’s hand and says, “We’ll stop by tomorrow to see her after I get off work. I’m going to make some calls and let them know that we’ll have to reschedule a few appointments because we want to help Rita and the family with Micah’s funeral.”

Lei smiles and says “I’ll bake my bestie some of her favorite cupcakes before we stop by tomorrow. Take care of her Eli.” They walk out and Becca is the only one aside from Mama that is still here. I know Becca is angry about what I did, but I don’t have the energy to argue with anyone tonight. I stand there and wait for Becca to say something, but she just looks and me leaves. I’m glad she decided to not talk to me because I’m fucking exhausted.

“Do you mind if I walk with you back to the room before I leave?” Mama asks. My thoughts are everywhere, so I just start walking back without saying anything and she follows alongside me.

Annie sees us walking by and doesn't stop us, except to say “Let me know if you guys need anything.” I smile at her and continue walking down the hall. She’s still asleep when we walk in. Mama moves one of the chairs to the other side of the bed for herself and before she sits down, she reaches for Sina’s hand and leans down to kiss the top of her head. I know Mama is angry with me because she hasn’t said one word since I arrived. It hurts, but I can’t blame everyone for being angry with me.

Even though Doctor Powell said it had nothing to do with stress and that it wasn’t my fault. A huge part of me still blames myself. It doesn’t matter that she kept our baby a secret because everything’s been my fault. Five months ago when she came back home I should’ve stayed away from her but I was so drawn to her that it was impossible to not want to be around her. Even when I had the chance to learn about her, I fucked it up. All I’ve ever done is fuck her then hurt her. Who does that shit? When she’s done nothing but fill the gaps that were empty in my heart. If anything, I know that Marino is the perfect guy for her, but I’m too fucking greedy and selfish to admit that to anyone. I hate the thought, but it’s the truth. I know I’m not good enough for her, but I don’t care because she was made for me. I’m sure of it. Just the thought of her not being a part of my life makes my heart hurt. Five months without anything from her has been pure fucking hell for me and I had to learn how to deal with the void that was in my heart.

“Sina, I know you’re hurting sweet girl but I want you to know that no matter what happens from here on out I will forever be grateful that God chose you to carry my grandson. Even if it were just for a short period of time.” Mama closes her eyes then prays “Heavenly father, I ask that you please wrap your loving arms around Sina and comfort her. I ask that you please heal her heart and bless it with more love and kindness because she deserves it. Heavenly father, I pray that you heal her soul and keep her heart open to life. Keep anything and everything that is dark away from her. I ask that you hold my grandson’s hand and keep his spirit safe. And last, I ask that you take everything heavy that is weighing my son down. Forgive him for not trusting you enough to lead him and teach him how to love with his whole heart open. In your precious name I pray, amen.” Mama kisses Sina’s hands then walks over to the opposite side of the bed where I am and kisses my forehead. “Stop making everything about you Son, this world doesn’t owe you anything. This beautiful girl deserves more than what you’re giving her, if you don’t love her with your soul then you let her go. You’ve hurt her enough” she cries. “This world has enough assholes who break women daily, you don’t have to be one of them.” She reaches in her purse then hands me an envelope. “Be the man that your son would be proud of,” she says. She squeezes my