Pieces of Me by Pua Ramona (small books to read txt) 📕

down on me. I want to be mad at her for keeping her pregnancy from me, but I can’t because she isn’t the type to keep something out of spite. It hurts my heart, but I know she has her reasons. And if I’m right, I’m almost positive that she kept it a secret because she probably thought she’d be a burden to me and it makes me sad that she’s been going through this alone. Well, it upsets me more that Marino’s been taking care of her and I hate him because he knew more than I did all along. I want her to look at me the way she used to before everything started falling apart. I want her to see only me. I want her to look at me the way I’ve always looked at her, and that alone kills me.

She turns so she can face the window and I feel my chest hurt because she doesn’t want to look at me. I don’t say anything because I know she’s hurting. Her shoulders start shaking and I can’t help but feel her sadness in the air. I want to wrap her in my arms, but I know it’s not the right time. She doesn’t move, she just cries.

I’m getting impatient. I just want to know that she’s okay and that the baby is okay. I want to know that my baby is okay. My baby. I’ve been sitting here for twenty minutes and no doctor has been to see us yet. “Why are you here?” She wounds me with her words. I treated her like she was a piece of shit then kicked her out and I will never forgive myself for treating her that way. Before I can answer her the doctor walks in with Annie following behind him.

She notices Sina is crying and she looks at me with a sigh. “Hey Doll-face. Do you want me to sit you up?” she asks gently. Sina grabs her blanket and wipes her face with it and my heart aches some more seeing her trying to be strong. Annie helps her then presses a button on the side of the bed and moves it up enough for Sina to see the doctor. I try not to look but I need to see her.

“I’m Doctor Powell'' he introduces himself.

He has his hand out so I reach for it and say “I’m Eli.”

“And you are?” he asks.

I clear my throat and say, “The baby’s father.”

He gives me a head nod and says, “I’m glad you made it because Sina’s going to need your support.” He doesn’t have to say the words for me to understand what he means. He looks over at Sina and then back to me. “I’m sorry, we did everything we could to stop the miscarriage but we weren’t able to save the pregnancy.” he says.

“What caused it? Was it stress?” I ask with my heart in my throat.

The doctor takes a couple steps closer and says “No. It wasn’t stress.” I thought hearing that it wasn’t stress related might help , but it doesn't.

“How far along was she?” I ask, choking my words.

“She was in her second trimester, so five and a half months.” My heart aches.

“How is that possible? I thought women only miscarried in the early stage of pregnancy.”

Doctor Powell gives us both a sad look and says, “In medical terms it’s called an incompetent cervix. It’s not a common condition. What happens is when the baby grows it gets heavier and it presses on the cervix. The pressure causes the cervix to start opening before the baby is ready to be born. Your cervix was too weak. I went over your medical history, and it says that you had surgery on your cervix which could be why your cervix couldn’t carry your son full term.” I want to know if she would be able to have any more babies in the future, but I know that now is not the right time. “If you choose to have a baby in the future you can. You’ll just be classed as being at high risk, but with the right guidance it is possible for you to carry full term.” He looks at Sina and says “You didn’t do anything wrong, you did everything right for your son. Don’t let this be a reason to blame yourself.”

She has tears running down her face and all I want to do is take the pain away from her. I hate that this is fucking happening to her and to us.

Doctor Powell turns to me and says “It wasn’t your fault either. But every mother deals with this kind of situation differently. So, you make sure you don’t let her fall, Eli. If you care for her the way that I think you do, then understand when she starts pushing you away. It’s not because she’s mad at you, it’s because she will probably feel like she’s not worth it.” He looks over at Sina one last time then says quietly “She’s a good girl and she’s going through a lot right now, be good to her. By the way, I knew you were the father when you said your name.”

I’m not sure how he knew and I’m curious so I ask, “How?”

He holds my shoulder and says “Because she named your son after you and her brother. Elijah Micah Hunter.” Before walking out of the room and leaving me standing there with my jaw on the floor..

I’m not sure if I heard him right so I look at Annie and ask her, “What was my son’s name?”

She gives me a kind smile and says “Your little boy’s name is Elijah Micah Hunter. But Doll-face here calls him E.J.'' My heart explodes and soars at the same time. She looks over her shoulder then looks at me and says “Go be with her Eli.”

“I don’t know what to say?” I tell her looking at my feet.

Annie smiles