Pieces of Me by Pua Ramona (small books to read txt) 📕

I fucked up bad. But we just lost our son and all I want to do right now is take you home and just be with you. We don’t have to talk. Just please let me do this” he begs.

I cry and he wipes my tears with his fingers and kisses me on the lips. “I know it’s going to take time, but please just let me take you home.” He moves a loose piece of my hair behind out of my face and says “Can I do that?” I’m too tired to talk so I nod my head yes. He buckles my seatbelt and closes my door. I watch him as he walks over to his side and I can already see how tired and sad he looks. I can’t let myself feel anything for him, so I keep building the wall around my heart. I’m still angry, but not so much at Eli but more toward my family for thinking that it was okay that they made this decision for me. We don’t talk the rest of the way to his place because I have nothing to say. It doesn’t matter anyways, because no one is listening to me.

Chapter Forty-Seven

Eli

We are both exhausted, hungry, and I know she needs to get some rest. I hate that she’s already stressing out and it stung a little that she didn’t want to come home with me. I also know that she’s hurting and it sucks that I can’t fix it. It takes us about twenty minutes to get home and when we get there Reese and Lei are waiting for us. I’d text them last night to see if they could swing by the house and make sure that everything was cleaned and ready for Sina when we arrived. I didn’t want her to come home to a dirty ass house. I reach for the clicker so I can open the garage door and I pull the truck in and park up. Neither of us move, we just sit there and drink in the quietness.

I take a deep breath and peer over to see if she’s ready to go inside. When I look over I see she’s quiet because she's fallen asleep. I reach over and run my fingers down her cheek. I don’t want to wake her up but I need to get her into a comfortable bed. I get out and make sure that I don’t slam the door before I walk around to her side. I open her door gently then back up a few steps so I’m not crowding her and whisper, “We’re home babe” She doesn't stir so I reach over and trace my fingers down her cheek and shake her shoulder a little. “Sina, we’re here.”

She slowly blinks her eyes open and a tear falls down on the side of her face. It guts me every time she cries, I fucking hate it. I wish things weren’t so fucked up and heavy between us right now. “Are you okay to walk or would you rather me carry you inside?” She doesn’t say anything and slides her way outside of my truck. She reaches for her bag and then she walks past me. I snag her wrist in my hand and she halts but doesn’t look at me. I turn her wrist and raise it to my mouth and place a kiss on the inside of it. Fresh tears carve a trail down her cheeks and she pulls her hand away as she walks inside.

“How are you holding up?” I don’t hear Reese walk in the garage because I’m too busy trying to get my head together.

“I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing Reese.”

He closes the door behind him then walks over and leans on the truck mirroring my pose. “Why did you bring her here Eli?”

“Because I want her to be here, no I need her to be here with me” I tell him.

“So you brought her here to make yourself feel better? Is that what you’re saying?”

“No! I needed her to come home with me because I didn’t want her to have to over work herself with Micah’s funeral. I wanted her here so she could at least get some type of rest without having to worry too much. She just lost her brother and our baby Reese. Our baby. And I wanted to make sure that she doesn’t break, because if she does she won’t come back from it.” The back of my eyes burn as I try to hold the tears back, but fuck it I’m hurting for the both of us.

“My boy Reese. I had a baby boy” I say trying to catch my breath. “She was carrying my son and I kicked her out of the house. I treated her like shit, man.”

Reese places his hand on my shoulder and says “You didn’t know.”

I shake my head and say “It doesn’t fucking matter man, I shouldn’t have done a lot of things to her. But me doing what I did is a new low for me. She lost our son because of me.” I’m so fucking angry with myself.

“So what? You’re going to feel sorry for yourself and make her feel a lot worse then she already is? Come on Eli. There comes a time when you need to man the fuck up and put others first. For fucks sake make her your first for once. She lost her brother and your son on the same fucking day, the least you could do is think about her and what she might be going through” he snaps.

“I don’t know how to fix it,” I say honestly.

“You don’t fucking fix shit! You are there for her and you go through it together. If you love her the way you keep fucking telling everyone that you do, then you love her through everything, good and fucking bad. It’s simple Eli. You just