The Serpent's Skin by Erina Reddan (top 5 books to read .txt) 📕

my eyes as if I were coming up from the dark. I brought my hand up to scratch my palm, but the shake in my hand stopped me. I had to do this thing. Couldn’t let it keep blistering up the skin of our lives.

I pressed both palms to the table and stood. ‘Why did Mum keep the address of an abortionist in her missal, locked up tight and secret?’

‘Abortion?’ Tessa spat out the word. Philly shook her hands in front of her like a shield.

Dad angled his chair to get a good look out the window at what was coming. Steel hardened up his face as if he’d just seen the lemony curtains for the first time. ‘You and I talked about this.’

‘Yep, you told me she’d taken Peg for an abortion, years before.’

‘That’s right,’ he said, relief in the wash of the words.

‘What you forgot to tell me was that it was your baby Peg aborted,’ I said. ‘Mum didn’t just find out about you and Peg that day. She found out a whole lot more. That was the day she figured out you were the father of Peg’s baby.’ I put up my hand to stop his spluttering from interrupting me. ‘That’s what Mum figured out when Mrs Nolan told her about you and Peg. That’s what drove her away without saying goodbye to me and leaving her wedding ring behind.’

‘Bullshit,’ he roared. ‘Get her out of here.’ This time looking directly at Tessa. ‘Make sure she never comes near me again.’

Tessa jerked her head in a no. ‘Not this time, Dad.’

‘You can all bloody get out, then.’

‘You didn’t chuck Peg out for being a bad influence,’ I galloped on. ‘You chucked Peg out because she was pregnant with your kid and you didn’t trust her to keep her mouth shut if she stayed living with us. That’s why you banned Mum from seeing her.’

Dad pounded the table with his fist, bouncing the cutlery. ‘Happy now?’ He glared at me. ‘You’ve got this table spilling over with blood and guts.’

I narrowed my eyes and stared him down. He looked away and got his knife and fork working again.

I couldn’t be stopped. ‘And what Mum was wild about was that despite all your great Catholicness, you wanted Peg to have that abortion. Wanted it so much you even paid for it.’ I slammed my fist into my hand. ‘Because where else could they have got the money from? But you wouldn’t let Mum have an abortion. That’s what you fought about that night. That’s what Philly heard.’

His mouth dropped open. Then he closed it and shoved a forkful in. There was something niggling at the back of me that was full of sorry for this hollow man. But I wasn’t finished yet.

‘Man up, Jack.’ Tim said. ‘Is JJ right?’

There was just the sound of Dad chewing.

‘Oh my God.’ Philly bolted up, swiping at her eyes. ‘She is. Mum was pregnant when she left.’ She spun to Dad. ‘She said she wanted the money to have what Peg had. You told her you were the man and you wouldn’t let her do it. She’d end up in hell and you didn’t need that on your conscience.’

We all looked at Philly, then back at Dad.

He laid his knife and fork on the table. He pushed at them to get them positioned just right as we watched. He cleared his throat. He went to say something but coughed. All our eyes on him as he swallowed back beer.

‘Not the kind of thing you tell the world,’ Dad said into the echo of the empty. ‘They wouldn’t have let her be buried in sacred ground if they knew she murdered the baby. And that would have killed her. Not being with her people.’

‘Would have killed you, you mean,’ said Tim. ‘It’s you who couldn’t have lived with a stain like that on your lily-white Catholic reputation.’

‘Your mother—’

‘The thing I don’t get is the death certificate,’ said Tim. ‘You got some fancy doctor to protect you? How did that happen, do you reckon? Cause it’s right here, see.’ Shelley passed it from her handbag. Tim flashed it at all of us. ‘Says just here.’

I started to speak, but Tessa came over the top of me.

‘There were no presents that year.’ The handle of the bread knife in her fist stabbing into the table cloth. ‘Under the Christmas tree. I thought it was because you’d forgotten, with Mum and everything. But there was no money—you’d used it to buy all them mongrels off.’

‘How dare you?’ he said, whipping around to Tessa.

But she didn’t flinch.

None of us did.

‘You’ve got your truth, then,’ he said, defeated. ‘Now all of yous get out.’

‘You good as held the knife to her belly yourself,’ I said.

‘Don’t talk rot. It was me who tried to stop her.’

‘Tried to stop her by not giving her the money.’

He nodded, wary in his eyes.

‘And she couldn’t have taken Peg’s money, not after finding out about you and her.’ I drummed the table with my fingers.

‘What?’ said Tim, in his seat again.

‘She didn’t have enough money for a half-decent abortion, did she, Dad?’

His hand shook as it reached out for his glass. He saw it too and grabbed it with his other hand to steady it. He felt me looking at him, but there was no meeting of eyes. He went under the currents to duck around the corner before I could catch him, same as he’d done all his life. But everyone else was looking at me, quivering with wait.

‘You saying she didn’t get that abortion after all?’ said Tim.

I kept my eyes, glue tight on Dad. ‘It was that address. In her Mass Book.’

‘Dead end, you said.’ Tim’s voice strained at the seam.

‘Thought that for a bit. But something kept at me. Couldn’t figure it out.’ I nodded at Dad. ‘You clicked it into place.’

‘I told you nothing,’ he said.

I coughed out a dry laugh. ‘You gave that a run for its