The Bookshop of Second Chances by Jackie Fraser (best life changing books .TXT) 📕

look at him and relent slightly. ‘It will be fine; you know it will. I expect you’ll love it, being a dad. You’ll be good at it, won’t you? You’re patient and loving and that’s all anyone can ask for in a parent.’

‘I dunno.’

I don’t know what else to say – it’s not my job to perk him up.

‘And Susanna’s excited about it?’

‘I think so. Yes. She’s planning stuff. We’ll have to extend, probably.’

‘Oh. I suppose you will.’

‘Yeah, there’s not room for all of them.’

‘I suppose not.’ The eldest, Ruby, is fourteen, then there’s Alfie, who’s ten or thereabouts, and the youngest is seven, maybe. I can’t remember his name. Joe? I’m not sure. Anyway, none of it works if they have to share, I guess. Not my problem though.

‘Anyway, so I’ll have to remortgage for that. And then you’ll get your money. I’m sorry it’s taken so long to sort out.’

‘That’s okay. You’re lucky there was some money from Uncle Andrew.’

‘Yeah, I know. You’d have told me, though, if you needed the money? I’d have found it somehow. I wouldn’t want–’

‘I guess. Anyway, it’ll be good to have it. I thought I might buy one of those flats on the coast road, you know, the new ones.’

He looks surprised. ‘What, in Brackwell? Are you moving back, then? I thought–’

‘Oh, no. Not at the moment, no. But house prices down there – it seems like a good investment, doesn’t it? I’m trying to be sensible.’

‘Are you going to sell your house? You’ll live together, you and… him?’

‘No, I shall keep it. Holiday let maybe. Not sure. We don’t live together at the moment, or not exactly, but we might. As he lives over the shop and I work there, it seems quite practical. The flat is lovely,’ I add, ‘but it’s sensible to have somewhere of my own, as well, I think. Because you never know, do you?’ I glance at him. ‘I’ll never feel entirely safe. I don’t want to… I need to make sure I’m okay.’

‘Yes.’

‘Anyway. So is that what you wanted to talk about?’

He nods. ‘Yeah. Don’t tell anyone, will you?’

Oh right, now he’s concerned that this might escape into the world, that people might think badly of him. I sigh. ‘Who would I tell? Come on, Chris.’

‘Xanthe.’

‘Everyone tells Xanthe stuff, don’t they? But I won’t if you don’t want me to.’ I look at him. ‘You’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it. Seriously.’

‘I hope so.’

‘You will. Right. I should go – we’ve been here for hours.’ I stand up and put on my coat. ‘I’m sure Edward’s been rushed off his feet.’ I laugh.

‘Yeah. Thanks for listening. I appreciate it.’

‘That’s okay. I look forward to getting an enormous cheque or whatever. Money transfer?’

‘Probably easiest, isn’t it? I’ll be in touch. And about the divorce.’

‘Okay, just let me know what I need to do. Do I have to divorce you? I’m afraid I haven’t looked into it; I didn’t think there’d be any, you know, rush.’

‘There isn’t, really. I mean, we can’t get married before the baby’s born now anyway. She doesn’t… you know, she doesn’t want to be a pregnant bride.’

‘Oh yeah, once was enough,’ I say, and laugh again. ‘No. Okay. I don’t mind if you want to leave it until it’s two years or whatever. Then it’s like a “no fault” thing, isn’t it, which is better. Even though,’ I add, ‘it’s obviously all your fault.’

He doesn’t look amused, so I point at my face. ‘See me smiling. A joke. Admittedly not a very funny one but still.’ I pick up my bag. ‘Goodbye then,’ I say. ‘Take care.’

‘Yes,’ he says, ‘and you.’

I head for the door, but he calls after me.

I turn back. ‘What?’

‘I… Nothing. Goodbye.’

I raise my hand in farewell and walk to the front of the shop, leaning against the counter. I close my eyes for a moment.

‘You okay?’ asks Cerys.

‘Oh, yeah. Yeah. Can I pay you? And thanks for that extra coffee. I very much needed that.’

‘Thought you might. You’ve been here for hours. Paying for all of it?’

‘Yeah.’ I can buy Chris’s lunch – it won’t kill me. She rings it up and I search for my purse.

‘That your ex?’ she whispers. ‘Sorry. None of my business.’

I laugh. ‘No, it isn’t, and yes, he is.’

‘Everything all right?’

‘Yeah. Stuff to arrange, you know. He owes me half a house.’

‘Oh, of course. Did he give you a massive cheque?’

I laugh. ‘Wish he had. But no, not quite.’ I look over my shoulder to where Chris still sits in the conservatory, staring out at the rain. ‘Right, thanks, see you tomorrow.’

I push out into the cold afternoon air, stop for a moment and breathe out. Bloody hell. It’s not easy, is it? Any of it. I’m not sure how to think about any of what just happened. I hope he’ll be all right. I don’t want him to be miserable, even if he does deserve it. I look across at the bookshop and smile. Lucky me. My new life is fun, isn’t it, and surprisingly not at all stressful. Isn’t it an odd thing – I cross the road, avoiding the enormous puddle by the bus stop – isn’t it funny to think that I might be in a better place than Chris is? Not that I’d gloat about it. Or not much anyway. I push open the shop door and the bell jangles above me.

‘Oh hey,’ says Edward. ‘All right? You were ages.’

‘I know. Jesus. What time is it?’

‘Nearly half five. May as well close?’

‘May as well.’

Upstairs, as I peel potatoes and Edward makes pastry, he says, ‘So, that was Chris.’

‘Yeah, weird, right? God.’

‘Mm.’

‘What did you think? He was a bit off with you, wasn’t he, I thought. Which is odd, when you’ve taken me off his hands, as it were. Or at least, you know…’

‘Mm.’

I turn to look at him. ‘Mm? Is that all you’ve got?’

He screws his face up. ‘I thought he’d be taller,’ he says. I laugh.