Heart, Mind and Soul by Elinor Skinner (free novel 24 txt) 📕

1 Paint Clouds                             6 Touched (In P.)

2 KKaleidoscope                         7 Burden of Living (In P.)

3 Under the Influence (In Progress)               8 Fright (In P.)

4 Breaking Point (In Prog.)                           9 Shadows

5 Lost (In Prog.)                                         10 Help

Oh, I can paint clouds, all day long,

 Because that's the stuff that Dreams are made of,

And I want to Dream all My Life.

Oh, I can paint clouds, all day long, and

If the moon was out I'll paint them- All Night.

Because I want to Dream all My Life.

I daydream when the Sun is out,

And I Dream when I'm asleep.

So why can't I Dream My Life Away?

Oh, I can paint clouds, all day long,

Because that's the stuff Dreams are made of,

And I Want to Dream all My Life.

I Want to Dream My Life Away.

So I'll paint clouds, all my life,

Because I don't want to give up Dreaming,

And I have been Dreaming My Life Away.

So I'll paint clouds,

My Entire Life.

So I'll paint clouds, my entire life..

I used to look through life like a Kaleidoscope,

So many colors and shapes, it was beautiful.

Beautiful and Confusing.

I used to think that I could see,

Whatever I wanted to see,

Anything I could Imagine.

Oh, Kaleidoscope, you take my breath away,

You let me dream,

that life could be so much better,

A happier place.

You always inspired me,

But I could never understand.

Your depth was deeper than

Anything I could describe,

With each turn you were

Always changing

You were never the same.

Oh, Kaleidoscope, you and I

Are so alike.

There is always a different side of us,

We change when we need to,

But aren't we still beautiful?

And difficult to understand.

Kaleidoscope, you are my everything,

You and I see differently than everyone else.

We see the wonder,

See the layers, underneath every face.

A rainbow of promise through my eyes,

A seeker's hope.

Kaleidoscope I could never grasp you

In my mind, but I love you, and

The freedom you bring me.

Kelidoscope, Kelidoscope,

Don't forget me,

When someone else picks you up,

I want to meet you again.

So please remember me,

Out of all the faces,

Each pair of eyes you meet,

Every touch, please

Remember Mine.

My Kaleidoscope, you're fascinating,

You're wonderful,

You fill up my Soul.

Keeping me alive,

Nothing else has meant anything more

Than you.

A Swirling Illusion,

Reality or a Dream?

Tears running down my face.

In all the confusion

Beginning to scream

I am a disgrace.

I turn around in the darkness,

Trying to find a familar place.

If only the knife can be

Removed from my heart.

Can I have a chance to heal?!

Sometimes I fear looking in the mirror,

Because there is always a stranger,

Staring back at me.

So here I am with a blade

In my chest left in an alleyway

And the glass shards that once

Touched my lips.

It has been a nightmare during the day,

Because the sunlight burns my eyes, and

In a perfect world as the moonlight hits the

The covers where I lay unalone.

 The syringe hits the candle,

Than it burns my veins.

The adrenaline flicks open my eyes.

The ink smears upon the page,

While I write out,

My lies to pain and desires.

As warmth of red drops leave

My body. Love leaves me,

And my eyes become Ice.

When did I fall to pieces?

And why are they all sharp?

How do they fit?

Are they all part of me?

What is this place?

Who am I now?

Long ago I slammed the doors,

Chained them so they will never open,

Locked it so the handle will never move,

Put darkened curtains in front of it.

So I can forget,

In order to live.

Does anyone really love or care?

Do they understand the pain and sorrow,

Anything about what it is to lose everything?

Have they gone to the point,

where it hurts too much To Live?

To let everything go is impossible,

Tears that will never come, has no release,

This strength keeps it in, ebbing me away.

Time is non-existant because

Life has but left me.

Whenever I close my eyes,

I think of the arms that held me close,

But when it comes to a face;

I find the memory blank.

One time I saw someone smile,

And I asked them why,

They told me they were happy,

Than the words slipped,

"What is happiness again?"

You are so close to me,

Yet I feel like I'm a million-miles away.

Something is calling me in the distance,

I don't know what it is,

But I don't want to leave you broken.

Running away on a train track,

There is no going back;

Trying to replace,

The emptiness with happiness,

But left feeling sadness.

It seems like I'm watching my life go by,

My hourglass sand,

Slipping through my hands,

And my mind into madness.

It's hard to reach out-

When you're in tears

And you feel it's already over,

But I still want to be with you.

I'm trying to reach you,

So please don't give up on me.

I'm getting stronger, the longer you stay..

    No, Oh No, I don't want to

Be dragged in another mess.

No, No, I am not a toy that

Shrieks instead of squeaks.

I am not your point of anguish.

I was so afraid,

That I would break,

So I prayed,

But it was more than I could take.

Thrown against the wall,

No one to hear my call,

Swallowed into the dark,

Every touch leaves a mark.

You put me under a spell,

Than I gave you a "Yes."

You locked this cell,

And left me a mess.

While you could care less,

Just as long as I fell.

When I began to feel a chill,

And overwhelmingly ill.

I swallow the pill,

Than I wait for the trill,

Cause I know you have the skill.

All my resistance is-

Never Distance enough.

Trying to hide, but

Wanting to confide.

Just left here to die,

Letting out a cry,

Still wanting to try,

And finding out. Why?

Don't do this, Please.

Don't you care?

Was it all a tease?

Not right to leave me here.

Nothing can be all lost,

Yet here I am with nothing to lose,

The heavens drench me in my own pain,

As I carry the bloomed love in my hand, as

I see them one last time.

I can no longer weep,

For my strength will not let me.

The past is something that

Will never be undone.

All I can do is hope that it is not real.

Yet the horror never receeds

From my mind.

Ripples form in the water

With every step I take,

Not looking back,

Even though I want to,

Must move on, because

The pain has to heal sometime.

When I get up I reach out my hand,

But no one is there to grasp it,

So I have to stand on my own again.

This world is elisped in shadows,

Of this intended hatred,

Slashing through my heart.

The sadness that wants to pour

From my eyes is

Frozen inside of me.

A life that is enternally cursed,

That makes my world only ash,

There is nothing left, for me, to lose now.

If this place intends for

My existance to vanish;

Than my soul will desolve

In the dark waters; 

As my breath will is

Flooded with agony.

I realize that there is no place -for me

To belong, and all there is,

Is emptiness.

This empty laughter of mine.

Inspite of intentions to end it all.

I am here now.

Despite my burden