Shadows of the Past by Kayla Stiles (buy e reader txt) 📕

No Name 5

8/25/11

Why do you do this to me?
What’d I do to you?
I told him to tell the truth,
That’s what he did.
Now you hate us both.
What the hell’s your problem?!
You’re so deceitful, it makes me crazy.
I’ve always been there for you.
You were once there for me.
Now you’re gone and I don’t know why.
You don’t talk to me,
You ignore my texts.
You act like I don’t freaking exist!
You’ve done so much to me,
Yet I always remained by your side!
You used me, you lied to me!
You freaking betrayed me!!!
I don’t know what your issue is,
But you need to cut it out!
I’m tired of the drama, I’m tired of the games!
I just want it to end!
You were my sister,
I don’t know what happened…
But I guess this is good bye then.
That shows me for trying to love you…

No Name 6

You think you know me, know what I’m about,
But you don’t.
You think you can help, but you can’t help someone
Who’s already beyond help.
Think you can offer me love? Think you can finally put an end to this never ending agony?
Well Fuck You!
You can’t do shit for me…ever!
You say you don’t judge books by their covers, yet why then do I see you looking at me like I’m scum?
You lie to my face and tell me you wish I’d die!
But I’m already DEAD! You killed me inside
With your double-edged words and actions!

No name 7

My heart breaks every time I hear your voice,
Every time I look into your hazel eyes, I cry inside.
I see you in my dreams, I really have no choice.
When you say those four words, my heart breaks inside.
“You don’t want me,” is what you say. But it’s not true.
As I sit here, writing this stupid song, the tears spatter the pages.
Blotching these words, the ink bleeds so black. Nothing new.
The memories come rushing back, playing a movie in my mind for ages.
The taste of you on my mouth, the touch of your breath on my skin.
Your loving embrace, the feelings that I get, wrapped in your arms.
How everyone disappears, my fears fade, the world stops its orbital spin.
Your whispered words, your tender love, you and all your charms.
You made me feel safe, made me feel welcome, like I really belonged.

You don’t seem to actually realize how it tears me apart inside
When you always say I didn’t love you, I never wanted you.
Because I did and do love and want you. I wouldn’t look you in the eyes
And lie to your face about this. I trust you, please trust me too.
I didn’t want to leave you, I just needed some time without us fighting constantly.
You healed me though, despite that you think otherwise, what I say is true.
When I first saw you, I knew you could help me be better, I knew instantly.
You gave me wings so I could fly again. You bandaged my wounds anew.
But now you’re telling goodbye and I don’t know what to do.
I want you to stay, I need you by my side. But yet, at the same time,
You bring out the worst in me, you make me mad, bad things do I do.
I don’t know, it’s your turn to decide. I’m done, now it’s your time.
The ball’s in your court this time. I’m done making decisions.

Just know that I always love you and, if given a choice, I’d take you back in a flash.
If only I could block out the bad side of me, just put the bitch away.
I could show you the side I desperately want to show, I’d no longer make mistakes so rash.
I wish I could see you again, touch your face, feel your hands at my waist.
I wish we could bring back the good old days and put away the bad new ones.
But I can’t. This life I’ve chosen, this bitch I show up as, it’s who I am.
I know I can no longer see you, you won’t allow it. There’ll never again be funs
Between us. I’ve hurt you, I’ve destroyed you, and I can’t take it back. I am
Forever a monster. I can never really say sorry enough times
To truly convey how much I regret letting you go.
I wish I could go back in time, change my decision, use these rhymes
To bring you back to me, to reawaken our love.
But I guess it’s forever goodbye.

No name 8

12/6/11

She crouches alone in the dark,
Shivering from the cold.
Shivering from the fear
Emanating from deep inside.
She fears that monster in the dark,
That foul creature
She knows is lurking in the
Deep black surrounding her.
She fears this monster coming out
From under the surface.
She can already feel
Her hatred for those guys growing,
Her eyes begin to blaze red,
Her teeth elongate and extend,
Becoming razor sharp.
Her back hunches over
And her nails sharpen to points.
An iron ball and chain
Is wrapped about her ankles
As she transforms into the monster, herself.
She fears the monster
Lurking in the blackness.
She fears herself.

 Short Stories Section  

All Alone in a Harsh World

9/3/10

Bryce felt purely invisible to the entire world, felt like he was all alone and no one cared. Little did he realize the true extent of his girlfriend’s love for him; little did he know how much these empty thoughts hurt her. Lost in his anger at the world, in the pain he felt inside, he began with small lacerations to his biceps, his forearms, his wrists. The darkness of his hiding place enshrouding him. Sure, he didn’t fail to answer his girlfriend’s worried texts, but he refused to tell her where he was ensconced. As her responses grew steadily more frantic and worried, as well as full of more heartache, Bryce’s nicks and cuts slowly turned into slits, then finally became gashes. Blood was starting to pool on the floor, the rusty smell of it was steadily filling the room, and Bryce was growing lightheaded just as Kathryn burst into the vacant classroom.

The second she spotted Bryce in the gloom, she ran over and dropped to the floor by the side of her dying boyfriend. She immediately took initiative, despite her horror, and began tearing her jacket into long strips of cloth. She quickly used these to bind Bryce’s arms and stop the bleeding. Kathryn held her boyfriend in her arms, already scarred from years of cutting.

Through her sobbing and the flow of her salty tears, she whispered to Bryce, “As long as I’m alive, I’ll never leave you. I’ll always be here for you no matter what and you’ll never truly be alone. I can take care of you, as you have taken care of me. Please don’t try to leave me alone like this again. I can’t stand to be alone again, please, I beg you. Please.”

In anguish, Kathryn inquired as to why Bryce had been credulous enough to believe everyone else’s comments of how worthless he was.

His response: “Until I found you, that’s the only thing I felt inside.”