Heartbreak? Love? Or Neither? by Alexandra Rader (fiction books to read .TXT) 📕

we have no time alone

I'm scared to death
For the feelings I feel for you
I'm not sure if I should hide them
For they seem so true

I love the way you talk
And I love the way you look
I love the way you look at me
And read me like a book

You make my heart beat faster
As you hold me like you do
My body starts to tremble
As I think of only you
Needing you

Bewildered and lost
Love with no cost

Wish I were with you
With feelings so true

Abandoned and alone
Got no place to call home

Without you by my side
My feelings must hide

Depression is an only friend
There is no way to see the end

Wish I were in your arms
Most memories bring harm

My Scream

Outside I seem alright
But inside's a raging war
My heart is hurting ever bad
And my mind's a living sore

You look at me and smile
And pretend to understand
But I see behind your mask
And your outstreched hand

You don't see me crying
Or feel my tortured pain
You say that you're different
But I know you're all the same

I wish someone would hear my scream
That I need help breaking through
But you don't seem to care enough
To focuse on anyone that's not you

I wish someone would understand
And come sit down by my side
To hold my hand and hug me
And say that I don't need to hide

But then again, I don't need you
I'll make it through alone
For I'm not very trusting
I hide out at my home

I'll just sit down and scream my wish
I'll scream it loud and clear
I'll scream for understanding
And for someone to stand near

Don't you hear the words I say?
The words I'm screaming out
My scream is being scattered
And being thrown about

I don't know why
I'm so hard to care for
I'm a person just like everyone else
But I'm the one thrown to the floor

Not Okay

I pretend to be okay
As I snap a smile on my face
But everything's so fake
I don't belong in this place

Why can't I find the words -
The words to set me free?
I can't keep this up forever
Why won't this torture let me be?

When will I find my voice -
The one to say what's wrong?
What is it that I'm missing?
Where is my life's song?

I can't find my breath
To say what I want
You smile at me
And with your help you taunt

Why can't my life be normal?
Why can't it be fair?
I guess I'll just stay here
Until I find someone who cares

You're On My Mind

Today at school I was occupied
With thoughts swirling here and there
I couldn't seem to concentrate
My eyes glazing over in an unfocused stare

You seem to be filling the thoughts of my mind
Filling every possible space
Your charming laughter fills my ears
My eyes can only focus on your smiling face

My memories of you are so very stubborn
Refusing to go away
My classes flash by in a blinding blur
And finally it's the end of the day

Why does every second feel like an hour?
And every minute feel like a year?
Why do I keep wishing for the impossible?
Why do I keep wishing you were here?

Why does my heart scream out
Every chance it gets?
My thoughts never wander far from you
Thinking how my heart's been hit

You're stealing my very existence
From my throbbing heart to my aching soul
There's nothing I can do about it
This is out of my control

I just hope I don't regret this
Regret giving you my heart
But if it's meant to be
I'll take this fresh new start

I Don't Know

You make me break into a smile
With a simple memory
Too bad you're not here to stay
For now and eternity

You walk away
Head held low
I almost cry
As I watch you go

My heart aches and throbs with longing
And it's quite clear who it's for
I sit back and start the long wait
For who knows when you'll walk back through that door?

One sweet kiss
Is all it takes
It just makes me wonder
Was is just a big mistake?

I don't want it to be
Don't get me wrong
But I'm still hurt from the last one
And his stupid love song

I don't know what will happen
If anything at all
I don't know who we'll meet
But for you my heart screams its call

Two sweet kisses is all we shared
But my lips still burn with fire
If only I knew what went on in that head
Who it is you truly desire

You once asked me what was on my mind
And I answered with a simple reply
"I don't know," is what I said
But it was, of course, a lie

"Kiss me, you thick-headed male!"
That is what went through my head
With this I think I will find a close
And lay down in an ice cold bed

It's the Way You Love Me

It's the way you love me
It's the way... It's the way
You love me
A love like no other
Without you
I'd be just another girl
A whisper long forgotten in the wind

I wouldn't know who I am
Without you here to tell me
Then there you are
Taking my hand
And guiding me through life
In the darkening, dead night
The only star in the sky
Hanging there just for me

It's the way you love me
A love like no other
Without you
I'd be just another girl
A whisper long forgotten in the wind

I'm So Very Sorry

I know I've treated you wrong
But I'm trying to make it right

I feel really bad
But I think I see the light

I feel it really close
And can sometimes glimpse the bright

Though it's never within reach
I still try with all my might

I know I've treated you wrong
But I'm trying to make it right

I'm so very sorry
For putting you in this fight