Life of St Teresa of Jesus by Teresa of Avila (e ink epub reader TXT) 📕

courage on my part not to betray my distress. I thought of the

treatment which that soul would receive, when the devils had such

power over the wretched body. Would to God that all who live in

mortal sin might see what I then saw,—it was a fearful sight; it

would go, I believe, a great way towards making them lead

better lives.

33. All this made me know more of what I owe to God, and of the

evils from which He has delivered me. I was in great terror.

I spoke of it to my confessor, and I thought it might be an

illusion of Satan, in order to take away my good opinion of that

person, who yet was not accounted a very good Christian.

The truth is, that, whether it was an illusion or not, it makes

me afraid whenever I think of it.

34. Now that I have begun to speak of the visions I had

concerning the dead, I will mention some matters which our Lord

was pleased to reveal to me in relation to certain souls. I will

confine myself to a few for the sake of brevity, and because they

are not necessary; I mean that they are not for our profit.

They told me that one who had been our Provincial—he was then of

another province—was dead. He was a man of great virtue, with

whom I had had a great deal to do, and to whom I was under many

obligations for certain kindnesses shown me. When I heard that

he was dead, I was exceedingly troubled, because I trembled for

his salvation, seeing that he had been superior for twenty years.

That is what I dread very much; for the cure of souls seems to me

to be full of danger. I went to an oratory in great distress,

and gave up to him all the good I had ever done in my whole

life,—it was little enough,—and prayed our Lord that His merits

might fill up what was wanting, in order that this soul might be

delivered up from purgatory.

35. While I was thus praying to our Lord as well as I could, he

seemed to me to rise up from the depths of the earth on my right

hand, and I saw him ascend to heaven in exceeding great joy.

He was a very old man then, but I saw him as if he were only

thirty years old, and I thought even younger, and there was a

brightness in his face. This vision passed away very quickly;

but I was so exceedingly comforted by it, that I could never

again mourn his death, although many persons were distressed at

it, for he was very much beloved. So greatly comforted was my

soul, that nothing disturbed it, neither could I doubt the truth

of the vision; I mean that it was no illusion.

36. I had this vision about a fortnight after he was dead;

nevertheless, I did not omit to obtain prayers for him and I

prayed myself, only I could not pray with the same earnestness

that I should have done if I had not seen that vision. For when

our Lord showed him thus to me, it seemed to me afterwards, when

I prayed for him to His Majesty,—and I could not help it,—that

I was like one who gave alms to a rich man. Later on I heard an

account of the death he died in our Lord—he was far away from

here; it was one of such great edification, that he left all

wondering to see how recollected, how penitent, and how humble he

was when he died.

37. A nun, who was a great servant of God, died in this house.

On the next day one of the sisters was reciting the lesson in the

Office of the Dead, which was said in choir for that nun’s soul,

and I was standing myself to assist her in singing the versicle,

when, in the middle of the lesson, I saw the departed nun as I

believe, in a vision; her soul seemed to rise on my right hand

like the soul of the Provincial, and ascend to heaven.

This vision was not imaginary, like the preceding, but like those

others of which I have spoken before; [16] it is not less

certain, however, than the other visions I had.

38. Another nun died in this same house of mine, she was about

eighteen or twenty years of age, and had always been sickly.

She was a great servant of God, attentive in choir, and a person

of great virtue. I certainly thought that she would not go to

purgatory, on account of her exceeding merits, because the

infirmities under which she had laboured were many. While I was

saying the Office, before she was buried,—she had been dead

about four hours,—I saw her rise in the same place and ascend

to heaven.

39. I was once in one of the colleges of the Society of Jesus,

and in one of those great sufferings which, as I have said, [17]

I occasionally had, and still have, both in soul and body, and

then so grievously that I was not able, as it seemed to me, to

have even one good thought. The night before, one of the

brothers of that house had died in it; and I, as well as I could,

was commending his soul to God, and hearing the Mass which

another father of that Society was saying for him when I became

recollected at once, and saw him go up to heaven in great glory,

and our Lord with him. I understood that His Majesty went with

him by way of special grace.

40. Another brother of our Order, a good friar, was very ill; and

when I was at Mass, I became recollected and saw him dead,

entering into heaven without going through purgatory. He died,

as I afterwards learned, at the very time of my vision. I was

amazed that he had not gone to purgatory. I understood that,

having become a friar and carefully kept the rule, the Bulls of

the Order had been of use to him, so that he did not pass into

purgatory. I do not know why I came to have this revealed to me;

I think it must be because I was to learn that it is not enough

for a man to be a friar in his habit—I mean, to wear the

habit—to attain to that state of high perfection which that of a

friar is.

41. I will speak no more of these things, because as I have just

said, [18] there is no necessity for it, though our Lord has been

so gracious to me as to show me much. But in all the visions I

had, I saw no souls escape purgatory except this Carmelite

father, the holy friar Peter of Alcantara, and that Dominican

father of whom I spoke before. [19] It pleased our Lord to let

me see the degree of glory to which some souls have been raised,

showing them to me in the places they occupy. There is a great

difference between one place and another.

1. Ch. xxxiv. Doña Luisa de la Cerda, at Toledo.

2. Ch. iv. § 6.

3. 1 St. Peter ii. 11: “Advenas et peregrinos.”

4. Philipp. iii. 20: “Nostra autem conversatio in coelis est.”

5. The Life of Christ, by Ludolf of Saxony.

6. F. Pedro Ibañez. See ch. xxxiii. § 5, ch. xxxvi. § 23.

“This father died Prior of Trianos,” is written on the margin of

the MS. by F. Bañes (De la Fuente).

7. St. Joseph, Avila, where St. Teresa was living at this time.

8. See below, § 41.

9. F. Gaspar de Salazar: see ch. xxxiii. § 9, ch. xxxiv. § 2.

It appears from the 179th letter of the Saint (lett. 20,

vol. i. of the Doblado edition) that F. Salazar was reported to

his Provincial, F. Juan Suarez, as having desire to quit the

Society for the Carmelite Order.

10. 2 Cor. xii. 2: “Sive in corpore nescio, sive extra

corpus nescio.”

11. See ch. xxviii.

12. Job iv. 15: “Inhorruerunt pili carnis meæ.”

13. The biographers of the Saint say that she often found, on

returning from an ecstasy, certain passages written, but not by

herself; this seems to be alluded to here (De la Fuente).

14. § 22.

15. St. John of the Cross, Ascent of Mount Carmel,

bk. ii. ch. xxvi. vol. i. p. 183.

16. See ch. xxvii.

17. Ch. xxx. § 9.

18. § 34.

19. § 15. Fr. Pedro Ibañez.

Chapter XXXIX.

Other Graces Bestowed on the Saint. The Promises of Our Lord

to Her. Divine Locutions and Visions.

1. I was once importuning our Lord exceedingly to restore the

sight of a person who had claims upon me, and who was almost

wholly blind. I was very sorry for him, and afraid our Lord

would not hear me because of my sins. He appeared to me as at

other times, and began to show the wound in His left hand; with

the other He drew out the great nail that was in it, and it

seemed to me that, in drawing the nail, He tore the flesh.

The greatness of the pain was manifest, and I was very much

distressed thereat. He said to me, that He who had borne that

for my sake would still more readily grant what I asked Him, and

that I was not to have any doubts about it. He promised me there

was nothing I should ask that He would not grant; that He knew I

should ask nothing that was not for His glory, and that He would

grant me what I was now praying for. Even during the time when I

did not serve Him, I should find, if I considered it, I had asked

nothing that He had not granted in an ampler manner than I had

known how to ask; how much more amply still would He grant what I

asked for, now that He knew I loved Him! I was not to doubt.

I do not think that eight days passed before our Lord restored

that person to sight. My confessor knew it forthwith. It might

be that it was not owing to my prayer; but, as I had had the

vision, I have a certain conviction that it was a grace accorded

to me. I gave thanks to His Majesty.

2. Again, a person was exceedingly ill of a most painful disease;

but, as I do not know what it was, I do not describe it by its

name here. What he had gone through for two months was beyond

all endurance; and his pain was so great that he tore his own

flesh. My confessor, the rector of whom I have spoken, [1] went

to see him; he was very sorry for him, and told me that I must

anyhow go myself and visit him; he was one whom I might visit,

for he was my kinsman. I went, and was moved to such a tender

compassion for him that I began, with the utmost importunity, to

ask our Lord to restore him to health. Herein I saw clearly how

gracious our Lord was to me, so far as I could judge; for

immediately, the next day, he was completely rid of that pain.

3. I was once in the deepest distress, because I knew that a

person to whom I was under great obligations was about to commit

an act highly offensive to God and dishonourable to himself.