The Sparkle that Killed My Loneliness by Deb Weber (novels for teenagers .txt) 📕

The Sparkle that Killed My Loneliness

To my dear friend Barbara who always believed in me

 Copyright © 2014 by Deborah Weber. All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

 “He could see it in his mind. Her delicate curves, the way she smiled when he told her a joke that wasn’t even remotely funny and the calming air that always surrounded her. He’d only met her once two days ago in a bar and didn’t know her name, much to his annoyance. He’d been too drunk to ask for her name or number.”

I sighed and closed the book. Such stories never happened to me, even if I went into a bar and got drunk (which I did quite often). I considered calling a good friend of mine who had a lot of different contacts and knew quite a few nice people, but then this friend would instantly know that I was desperate and interested in his services. Unfortunately, this friend was the guy who always tried to hook you up with someone no matter what – and it never ended well. So I leant back on my couch and grabbed my beer instead. A shiver ran through my body. I realized I wasn’t wearing a shirt. I also saw that my recent muscle training was starting to pay off; you could clearly see the six-pack beginning to form. I grunted happily and slouched to my bedroom to throw on some clothes.

While I was eating the left-over pizza slices from sometime this week, my thoughts unconsciously wandered back to the story of the book. The love struck main character that couldn’t stop thinking about his anonymous beauty and would do everything in his power to find her and start a relationship. Again, I sighed loudly and sulked over my inability to find a partner. I knew I seriously needed to put an end to this thinking because it wouldn’t get me anywhere.

Then again, what else could I do? I had tried every common way of finding somebody and it either had ended in a fruitless search or some random guy had always beaten me to first talk to possible targets. I sure as hell wasn’t going to use the Internet to have a date, so all that was left was keep going to bars or hope for a miracle.

 God, how I hated travelling with the subway in the early mornings. You could barely keep your eyes open and there were people bumping into you from every side. In summer, as it was now, the air was so stuffy that you were able to smell every stench that was made less than two days ago. Trying not to breathe in too deeply and to snap all my rudimentary social communication cables, I was standing by the door and waited for the train to arrive at my station. As soon as the doors opened, I rushed outside and quickly walked the few meters to my workplace, a small restaurant called “Funny Dancer”. I disliked everything about that restaurant, but the name was especially awful. Maybe my hatred was fueled by the fact that I had a university degree in film theory and now had to work as a waiter. When I’d chosen this course of study, I hadn’t thought about the future job offers that were practically nonexistent. I had picked out the Funny Dancer as a temporary source of income because it wasn’t too far away from my apartment, but I had never found another job and was now stuck with it.

Grumbling, after I unsuccessfully had tried to become invisible, I opened the small back door and silently sneaked up to the changing rooms without being seen by my incredibly annoying co-worker Ashley. I supposed she was a nice girl at heart, but she got on my nerves with her quirky and loud manner.

I slipped out of my street shirt and opened my locker to take out the shirt every waiter at the Funny Dancer had to wear. It was a simple black one that’s fortunately not too tight and not too wide but I still didn’t like the sight of it. Suddenly, I heard Ashley calling my name. Rolling my eyes, I turned.

“Hi Ashley.”

“Jay! When did you come in? I didn’t hear or see you!” she said. I forced myself to talk friendly to her; she wasn’t trying to do me any harm.

“Right now. I need to start working soon. Are you leaving? Or do you have another shift?” I asked.

Ashley answered no and glanced at the big clock on the wall. She shrieked and explained that she had an appointment with a friend and ran off with her stuff. I stood there dumb folded because she was gone as fast as she had appeared.

I walked through the kitchen and took my green apron from the coat hook where all aprons hung. I greeted my boss and soon I was walking around between the tables, taking orders and delivering them. It was a typical work day. Until noon there weren’t many costumers and then the place was crowded for two hours. After the rush, I was back to walking around bored and setting the occasional coffee on a table. My mind had wandered off and before I knew it, my shift was over. Only then I realized that my feet were hurting like hell. Cursing, I vanished into the changing room and sat down for a moment, massaging my slightly swollen feet. I definitely needed another job. I knew I shouldn’t bitch about being employed at the Funny Dancer, since a lot of people were unemployed and had no money at all, but this job just didn’t satisfy me. Before I could start complaining to myself again, I got up, packed my things and made my way home.

As soon as I got home, I fell on my bed and dozed off immediately. Sometime later, my phone beeped and tried to inform me of my missed calls but I paid it no mind. There was no person who would be important enough to get up for. My mother contacted me only on appointed dates, my father had died two years ago because of pancreas cancer and I had no siblings. But my phone wouldn’t give in and so I stood up and listened to the message. It was a message from Ashley.

“Hi, Jay! Too bad I couldn’t reach you directly. I suppose you’re sleeping again? Well, it’s no big deal. Hey, I want to invite you to a certain party! Yes, it’s my birthday party. Ah, actually, my birthday’s in two weeks, but the party’s been set up for Saturday. Listen, it’s gonna be huge! I know, I normally don’t throw such parties, but this time I invited all my friends and told them to invite theirs! There are gonna be a lot of people, you should definitely come, too! I can’t wait! See ya then!”

I started at my phone and tried to understand what that quirky girl had screamed in my now bleeding ears. A party? I didn’t have any plans for Saturday and was always complaining about my missing may-be-date, so why shouldn’t I just stop by? It couldn’t hurt to just look around.

At a fast pace, I closed the distance between the subway station and the location in which Ashley’s party was supposed to be held. I could hear loud music penetrating my ears when I was still half a mile away. Luckily, the old warehouse wasn’t surrounded by narrow-minded neighbors or there would be cops sprawling all over the place already. I was thinking of possible strategies to approach people that I may find interesting when Ashley spotted me. She shouted, “Jay! There you are! You really came. Come here, I’ll introduce you!”

I flinched mentally. That was not how I had planned things. But now I had no choice. I walked over and smiled innocently.

“Jay, this is Melissa, this is André and that is Tania. Melissa, André and Tania, this is Jay.”

I greeted them awkwardly and they looked like they enjoyed it as much as I did. My face was lit up and emitted heat that I was sure could be felt two meters away. I had to admit; they were all beautiful persons and nicely dressed. I probably looked like a stupidly grinning, poor idiot with street clothes. Ashley hadn’t told me the dress code and now I felt like a stone among diamonds. It was like one of many situations at parties I had encountered as a young teenager. Before this could turn any worse, I excused myself and stalked off, shame burning in