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                       Love Is No Fairy Tale

 

 

Chapter 1 New Beginnings

 

Nyctophobia, the fear of the dark. As I got older living with my mom I kinda noticed something odd about the way we lived. Lights. Not just any lights to be exact but night lights. They were in every room you could think of and of course in the hallways. And when I started to actually go over to friends houses they didn't have any night lights. But despite that being only two people, I asked my mom about it anyways. “Why do we have a bunch of night lights?” I asked. I didn't make much sense to me I mean you'd think it would be raising the cost for our electricity bill. She was doing dishes and didn't even look at me. “We stay in the light which keeps us safe” I waited for more words but they didn't come. Around that time she didn't look better, she wasn't getting better. Her skin was kind of this pale grayish color but I didn't mind. She died a weeks later when I was at school. I was told I would be staying with my Uncle which I didn't even know I had one. But the part of me leaving circled my brain, no more people saying “That poor woman I bet she couldn't take it when her husband left, such a terrible thing for her girl to see” or “It's better that she's gone! I know she killed her husband I'm surprised she wasn't put in a mental asylum!” And “That poor girl I pray she doesn't end up like that mother”

I never thought my mom was mental just sick. She had a cold and it didn't go away. I didn't stay with my Uncle for longer than three months. Let’s just say he was arrested, which he was. Not long after that, I was sent to live with my Aunt Doris. I was relieved and thought I was finally gonna be happy again...or so I thought. She lived in California, a beautiful warm place that I personally liked. Of course, things had to end after her husband had almost killed her and even took things out on me. Next, I moved to Oregon, followed by Montana, Nebraska, Texas and here I am on a plane to Maine. Of course, there were complications to the way I've lived all my life. Bullying is a natural thing, dating older men along with abuse but of course, it always seems wrong to me. Or at least when I'm around people at least. The ability to not know if something is wrong or right and to suddenly be in a box of fear isn't new. I don’t think the family things for me or maybe it's just guys. I have a different feeling about this one though, this time I'm staying with my grandmother. She use to come over for the summers. We’d go on walks, ride horses, go to the beach, bake, check out books, color. She was pretty much my entertainment. I'd rather hang out with her than my friends an any day...back when I had friends. When the plane landed a wave of relief hit me. I hate flying, no I hate turbulence. I walked off and awkwardly behind people and followed them seeing a belt thing with luggage going around slowly. I took three steps before I actually saw her. I smiled and speed walked to her “Your so tall!” she pulled me in for a hug. I winced as I felt my back pop, she was more strong than I expected. She was about the same height as me, 5’10 and fit. She had fair skin, wise blue eyes and a grey french braid. “I guess you get a lot of snow here” I say still hugging her. I didn't really know what to say so I just brought up the first thing I had noticed landing here. “When the suns out it's a gift” she pulls away with a smile “You'll get used to the cold I promise” I nod my head as she grabs my duffle bag before turning. Once outside I felt like I had just been breathed on by the abominable snowman. My body was now covered in goosebumps.  Walking across the parking lot wasn't any easier as I stepped over and walked around spots of ice. By the time I got to Saras truck I couldn't really feel my ears. The truck beeped and I climbed in without a bit of hesitation. It was already warmed up thanks to the heater. I heard the back door open a heard my bag land on the back seat. The back door shut and it was silent for a few seconds before Sara opened the drivers door and climbed in. Sara chuckled slightly “It's not always this cold..for newcomers a lot of the time it's bearable”

“Bearable” I say repeating the word. She smiled shaking her head and we were off. The town looked like a winter wonderland all covered in fresh snow. It was beautiful. You wonder how many times the schools actually have snow days here. The trees were so pretty covered in snow I just wanted to take a bunch of pictures. When we got close to the house my eyes widened in amazement the was a big homey like pond to the right and a punch of fencing to the left. I could see three horses with coats on standing with a barn off to the distance. The house was a soft blue two-story house. There was also another car parked in front with fresh untouched snow on top. I just wanted to jump and roll over it. “Is this your ice car?” I ask as she turned the truck off. She gave me a confused look “My what?”

“Oh you know, like a car you drive in certain whether or if your truck breaks down you have a plan B” she smiles. “Actually it's for you” my face dropped “Really?” I jumped out of the truck and almost face planted in the snow. I hate snow. I could hear my grandma laugh as she shut her door. I walked awkwardly to the car snow finding its way into my shoes and making me pick up my feet like a horse who's walking with shoes for the first time. The car looked brand new with leather interior inside. “Wow thank you!” I say. I felt weird saying it. She smiled “Now you'll have something to get to school with” I nod still feeling awkward like I should do something but I don't know what. “Come on, it's freezing out here” She walked up the front steps and I followed. The house was warm that I sighed, a lit fireplace crackling. I followed her moves wiping my shoes off and leaving them by the door. “Welcome to your new home!” she says with a skip. I smile. My grandma works at a retirement home so I know I’ll have the house a lot to myself. I'm pretty proud of myself that I remember that. I followed her upstairs and into a room. “This is your room, it’s been doing nothing but taking up storage..I’m glad I finally found a use for it” The room was big with white walls and high ceilings. It even had a screen T.V I sat on the bed with a light grey comforter and matching pillows. “Thanks its cozy” I say with a grin. She smiles “I'm sorry to leave you but I have a late shift tonight. I won't be back till 10” I nod my head crossing my legs. “In the meantime.. why don't you go explore the barn and meet the horses you can use my boots” I watched her leave and waited till her truck was gone. I sprung off the bed back downstairs and pulled her boots on. Grabbing a jacket off the hook I speed walked out the door and across the snow. Jazz came up to me right away her gray coat was growing out and she looked so much older. I stopped at the fence and hugged her. “Oh I missed you..” she made a snort as if agreeing. She nudged my shoulder sniffing my hair. Soon Bruce arrived with his thundering hooves and Luna right behind him like a loyal dog. Bruce stuck out his head and I kissed his nose scratching his cheek. Luna stuck her head through the fence and nipped at my leg. “Aw it's me Amanda” I crouched and scratched the ponies neck. I finally crawled over the fence and hopped onto Bruce. It felt weird being on a horse again and I didn't really notice how much I missed it. “Come on Bruce” I pointed towards the barn and he turned trotting towards it. The rest followed as I grabbed onto a fist full of Bruce mane and gave him a little kick. He was running now, with Luna and Jazz close behind. To feel the breeze on my face and to be on a horse again was so much fun. I rode around for about an hour and finally slid off hugging him. Bruce was so small the last time I saw him. He was this feisty little colt and now he was this beautiful enormous black horse with a long mane. I hugged all of them before crawling back over the fence. Jazz took off and they followed her keeping up but never ahead. I glanced at the darkening sky as specks of stars were coming out. I smiled knowing not everyone has a view of the stars like this.

 

After a warm shower, I made some popcorn then settled on the couch with a blanket. I watched T.V for a while and decided to look around. It's still snowing outside. I peered out the window the once beautiful snow covered trees now looked like something out of a horror movie. The first floor didn't have much but the second floor, I found a box with the label Pictures on it. I sat with it in the middle of the hall and opened it. There were a lot of older photos most in black and white but some in color. There were pictures of my family, my mom, even me. It was a picture of me sitting on Sara’s lap. I remember that day. I had a full-on meltdown when I heard she was leaving. She ended up staying three more days and promised I’d come to Maine one day. I decided to keep a few that I liked. I stuck the box back on the shelf in the closet and stuck the picture under my pillow. I stopped once I heard the blowing of the wind, it made the house creak. I glanced outside and could see the trees move side to side thanks to the light of the moon. My attention snapped to a shadow  before a howl filled the air. As more shadows appeared. I ran back downstairs snatching a jacket and ran outside. Turning the porch light off I watched, smiling as wolves ran out from the woods. I was nervous they would go for the horses but there were no horses that I could see. They scattered around the front yard yipping and whimpering as they ran around each other and rolled around. When I noticed one had spotted me I stopped breathing. It trotted up and put its nose between the rails of the railing. his fur was.. black? But his eyes were a nice brown.. so I guessed. My heartbeat quickened. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Can you pet a wolf? I

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