lost by cristal santos aka dancingmilklover246 (readict .txt) 📕

I dedicate this to those that have encouraged my writing and those who read and even hate my writing but at least have the mind to help me get better. .


Lost

Written by crystal Santos. Aka dancingmilklover246


Violets pov. (Point of view.)


**beep beep! *** I sigh impatiently knowing that’s Sammy outside. She is the most impatient person this world has ever seen. As I grab my book bag and walk outside I see David walk out of his house. “Hey David” he looks over to me and smiles and nods. We get into the car and I sit down trying not to grimace at the color pink and the perfume Sammy has on. “What the hell are you wearing?” I look over to her and see her smile and then it disappears just as quickly. I now grimace as the smell comes completely into my breathing space. “You smell like a damn daffodil.” She looks over to me and now is when she notices that my hair sand banged shifted and she saw the marks on my arms and right side of my face next to the hairline. “ violet what the hell happened last night?” she stopped at a red light and turns to me as I quickly cover my arms and put my hair covering my face. She growls knowing that it was my stepfather. I smile to her slightly, don’t worry imp fine nothing happened that hasten been done.” I hear David’s growl from the back seat.” I wish I can kill him.” I chuckle slightly. “Don’t worry guy’s I’m fine. Really.” That’s when Sammy blows up. “No it’s not okay that dip wad uses u killed chase and your mom doesn’t even see it.” I shrink back when she mentions his name, I feel the slight tears coming up and she sees she hit a tough spot. Her voice softens as she turns back to driving before we get to school she whispers that she was sorry. I nod and hug her lightly knowing that it just hurts her when she sees the pain he put me through. As I walk into school my mom sent me a text message. “I’m sorry honey someone’s getting to get you we need to talk wait in the office.” I reply okay and walk into the office saying goodbye to Sammy and David. I walk in and see mrs.saman behind her desk speaking with a middle aged man.” Ah hello Mrs. Violet.” She smile warmly before walking out of her cubicle and presented me to the man.” This man is here to take you home. “I nod and smile. I follow mr.christopehr toward a black limo outside waiting for me. I stare at him as he opens the door and I hesitantly walk in. As we approach the house I have the felling in the pit of my stomach that something is going on. Last night, bill, he seemed mad, aggravated. He hurt me more than normally. I smile wondering if it was that he finally got caught. Oh joy the day that happens I will totally dies of happiness. I walk up my doorstep and open the door. I walk into our kitchen and across the family room ready to go upstairs when I see them. I walk into the living room slowly, making sure I was I wanet crazy. I sit down when my mom pats the chair next to me. I see a blond’s tall model like women late middle aged. And a handsome older man probably her husband, next to them is a teenager most likely a year older than me. He has black hair that falls into his green eyes and if you look closely those green eyes have specks of hazelnut in them. I look towards my mom as she speaks talking. “Honey violet, dear, how do I say this? You are engaged, you are to be married um, and yeha that’s the best I can do.” I stare at them funny. I then burst out laughing half sobbing. “Oh you’re joking right?” My mom’s eyes wells up as she hugs me. I sit there frozen sober of all humor from my face. I sit there as my mom’s holds me close that that’s why bill hurt me so much. I stand leaving her grasp.” How long.” I look at them and then to my older sister Carmen.” How long did you guys know?” Carmen starts crying lightly and my father sits there I am now noticing that he has his hands cuffed back. My mom looks at me. “We found out when you were born when I married bill. You you were sick my dear we needed to take care of you but I don’t have the money and so they um lent us the money but it’s just we can’t pay it back. With graduation so close Carmen already got accepted to university of California and we sent back your letter of acceptance back to nyu a few days ago. “I gasp. My school my dream. I instantly think back to the essay wrote to the school when I was in middle school.
The light goes on.
Spotlight on you
And only you
You rehearse the song and dance perfectly.
Not good enough… I’m never goanna make it…..
Again.
Performing has always been something that fascinates me. I’ve always loved it. I felt free when I sung. I’m not worried about what people think or if I don’t win the contest I just let the music flow right through me. When I perform in front of an audience, I feel a sense of honor to be able of playing that role or singing that song. Without music in my life it would be like the sun didn’t come up in the morning or the stars at night.
Since I was five, my mom put me in dance lessons and vocals and even acting school. Five year old little me with pink leotard, black tights, pink plain ballet shoes. There was even a hole on the bottom of my shoe cause of how much I used them sometimes just want to get up and start dancing in the middle of class and sometime even stat singing. I always felt good about myself when I performed. My dream one day is to go to Julliard’s performing academy. I’ve trained for it and I have dreamt about it for years. Knowing I am one step closer to my goal of becoming a performer is what wakes me up to go to school in the morning. Whether it’s waking up at 6:30 in the morning to practice or having to quit hanging out with friends because I have so many rehearsals and practices I have to attend, it gives me a sense of pride knowing I’m committed to making my dreams a reality. My mom once asked me if this I truly wanted to do in my life, and without a skipping a heart beat I responded yes.
“Louder! Violet you can do better! Clearer! Hands up! Graceful! Do it again!!!!” I am shy. I speak. I am afraid of speaking too loud or showing off at dance or in vocals. When one performs it almost like you’re not yourself. You get this character and you just transform yourself. You’re so focused on doing the best you can on that role you forget your shyness. I always laugh at myself before a show because I get so anxious my body shakes my face pools with sweat my eyebrows creased with worry of forgetting something. My hands knotting into each other trying very hard not to run home and hide under the comfort of my bed, but once I am out there I forget the stage I forget the people and do it perfectly and when I hear that first set of claps is when I realize I did it. One of my past play instructors would always tell me to do it again and again until I told her why?, I asked her why did I have to do again Why I wasn’t good enough. I kept going I was like a volcano exploding for the first time. She waited till the lava cooled down. The only thing she responded was “you are so good at what you love to do, but I have faith in you enough to know you can go way past the stars and moon and up to the planets.” I was so frustrated with her. I didn’t know what that meant. A few days later I fully understand that she meant that I needed to look past the sheet music or the dance steps and go deep down inside of my heart to find my real melody. If you ask me to tell you what music and performing is for me the word I would use is inspirational. When I am stuck in a situation I don’t know what to do I hum I start dancing and instantly I relax, I see the world differently, I used to think that football players for example were rough and un graceful but after years of dance I see that football players don’t just play the game they dance in the field, those twist, leaps, speed, all part of training of dancers. Even if I don’t get into my Julliard’s performing school, I know that I’d have to incorporate performing in my life because life wouldn’t be life without it. If I didn’t get into my school I wouldn’t be upset because then id now I still haven’t looked deep down inside. Performing to me is like is like water without it I would die. I’m still looking for my melody in life, but that’s okay because that’s just one more step to my dream. “

I stand and walk away from them. “So what you played inminiminymoe when choosing witch daughter got to live her dream witch daughter got to finish her education become someone in this world. You r choosing witch daughter actually gets to fall in love on her own?” I looked at the three of them my mom’s starts to apology. Bu I break down screaming” no I don’t need your apologies; I never needed your apologies I needed your love your support. But I never got that did I? No. you took away everything from me, my life my happiness my freedom, my friends, family” I whisper lightly the last word “love.” I look around me “you ruined my life. And you’ve kept me in the dark. You convinced me you loved me. You made me believe in myself that I can graduate but in the end you knew I was leaving that I was gone. “I look over to my stepfather. “ I’m glad they caught you. You filthy sugerfoot.” I looked over ot my sister, my beloved older sister Carmen, the one I trusted, confined myself to the one I truly loved in this family and disgust shudders inside of me.” You have fun in the world. I hate you. And have a nice life.” I lastly turn to my mother ad look at her the longest. “And you. My mom, my life giver. The one that is so sacred to my heart. I thought I could never hate you, no matter what you did. But I guess the